Destiny
by Kilarra
Summary: Sequel to Fate. My name's Kimura Kouichi... or at least, it used to be. I followed my twin Kouji into the Digital World, body and all, but Cherubimon still found me. I still became Duskmon. But it's not over. Maybe now it's Kouji's turn to find me.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Be forewarned! This may take some time, but here at the very beginning I make the pledge to craft it with the utmost care, refine it to perfection (as close as I can get), and pursue it to completion. It might just take me a year is all. Also, this is Fate's sequel, so if you (the current reader who is reading this note) have not yet read Fate, doing so might be a good idea. Or you might be a bit lost... My little brain is tired, so that's all for now. More soon. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I'm relying on excellent rhetoric skills to pay for college, what makes anybody think I own Digimon or am making a profit? I'd like to, but I'm not/ don't. **

I'm in darkness. Floating in darkness. I see nothing. Feel nothing. Which is a little odd because I know I'm floating. That there's no ground. No gravity. Something tells me there should be more; a sound here, a touch there. There should be _something._ But I don't know. I don't remember why I feel like this, and suddenly it's just not that important. The suspicion is little more than a fleeting sensation, like a breath across water, and in an instant it doesn't concern me. A fading memory before apathy takes over. I can think, move, leave, but I have no desire to. It seems like for the first time in a long time... I am... content.

_Why shouldn't you be? You're where you belong._

A voice. It has no significance to me, but I listen. I am blank, hollow. It gives me a reality, something to grasp onto. I have questions. I _want _to listen. It's an almost startling realization. Almost, but not quite. Nothing seems to be able to pull me from the numbness, not even this revelation. Not that I want it to. I'm quite confortable. I wonder, but I would just as soon remain here. Asleep and not. Existing in the dark. This voice offers information, I accept.

Where am I? What is this place?

_This is freedom..._

Freedom? From what? I don't understand.

_Free from pain, from emotion, from humanity. _

Free of humanity... What does that mean?

_It means you can integrate completely with the darkness. You don't have to feel anymore. You are no longer controlled by that side of yourself. _

Am I human?

_No. Not human, not any more. You are no longer bound by your human heart. Now you are mine._

I accept its answer easily. After all, there are no others here. No other voices to tell me what I am or was. There is only the darkness... the darkness mingling with thought. My thought. We have merged. This voice is with me, yet not a part of me. We are separate. I'm not alone. That's a little disconcerting... and yet comforting.

Who are you?

_I am the one who set you free. I have granted you power, purpose. _

Do I need power and purpose? Do I want them?

_It is why you are here. _

Why... I'm here...

_And what you are meant to do. _

I don't understand what the voice means. I have nothing to compare it to, no previous experiences, no other voices. The voice is my knowledge, my only knowledge. I must accept what it tells me; I have no other choice. There is nothing but the dark and the voice. I can't see, but I know I should. Can't feel, yet there has to be something. I can't remember. Should I remember? How long have I existed here? Was there anything before? Or am I just- just this? The voice hears, it knows.

_You want identity, a past, a goal. I can give you a reason for you existence. _

Yes, I want to know. I need to know. Who am I? Why am I here? What is it I'm supposed to?

_ You are the Son of Darkness and you must destroy the light. This is a goal we share. You will serve me, and all your wishes shall be realized. Everything you desire shall be yours. I am Cherubimon, your savior. Your master. _

Cherubimon?

I hesitate, echoes from a long time ago whispering. My own voice fills my ears and confirms his assertions.

Cherubimon-sama, Master of Darkness. My lord.

_Yes._

And before?

_There is no before. _

I believe him. There are no doubts, no fears. Absolute certainty, absolute faith. I don't remember anything else and Lord Cherubimon has confirmed that I shouldn't. The memories don't exist. Things have always been as they are now. I serve Lord Cherubimon and we will destroy the light. That's my purpose, what I want. I'm beginning to understand. I listen and absorb who I am.

_Do not concern yourself with pointless pursuits. Remember your pain, your hatred. Let it fuel you. Let it consume you. That is your greatest source of power. Use it, and fulfill your destiny. _

My destiny...

_Yes. Go, Duskmon, do what you were created to do. Destroy the light and blanket this world in darkness!_

Duskmon... I understand.

And I wake up to my life.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Ok, so first off, don't get mad for the wait, please! I was almost done and then I had one of those "Oh dung, I have to have learned Japanese in two days!" moments (you know the ones). So it was all dropped and I completed my CAS (Google it, for it is too evil for me to describe here... on second thought, remain innocent, don't Google it), ya! No more CAS for me, except for the interview, but that doesn't count as much! And then I was like, "AHHHH! IB Tests! Homework! Choir Concert! AHHH!", but then there was a snow day. Ya! And I almost finished it except for the final editing. So then I did that, but I was like, "Dude, this is twice as big as the chapter you (reader) are about to read!" So to save you from more headaches than are necessary, what was originally 20 pages is now only 10. You are welcome ^^. Hence, after some expansion and editing, Ch.2 shall be up, but don't expect it too fast. Also, I have taken some liberties in altering the dialogue, and to some extent the characters. I maintain that this is my prerogative as a writer and if you don't like it, feel free to tell me so and why, but don't expect any change to come of it. I'm a vain little creature. Hmmm... lost my train of thought there. Well, here goes! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I am not making any sort of profit off of this ore intending any copyright infringement or claiming that I own anything but those original ideas presented which are mine. Don't sue me, I have no money.

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There are three moons in the night sky, one red, one yellow, and one blue. They huddle close together, yellow larger than red larger than blue, and they all move at different times. Yet somehow they remain together throughout the night. I know because I've watched them. There were times when I all I did was lean against the wall in my alcove and stare at the moons. I'd like to say I found them amazing, but that's a lie. Nothing amazed me, nothing frightened me, nothing touched me. I was cold... remote. I was Duskmon, Warrior of Darkness, servant of Lord Cherubimon.

No, the moons weren't beautiful or mysterious or symbolic. I didn't have any delusions about their significance or emotional reaction to their presence. There was no reason for me to be staring at them the way I did, the way I seemed to do every night. I thought... never mind. Insignificant and pointless musings. They had nothing to do with my mission and therefore no place on my mind. I wasn't there to think or feel, I was there to cover the world in darkness. Anything else was superfluous. But still... it was just... so strange. Ever since the moment I came into being I hadn't left Lord Cherubimon's Tower, I knew that. The sangria stone and porous structure were all I'd seen; the pools of water, dark pits, and rock trees much more familiar than my own reflection. This was my lair, these were my shadows. Where I belonged. And still I was uneasy, like there was constantly someone standing right behind me. They would never know I suspected their presence, of course. I was the master of deception (or so I thought), master of shadow. No one could ever read me. Despite all this, despite my rationalizations and solitude and familiarity, those little lights in the sky worried me. The three glowing moons were alien and, no matter how long I stared, never became commonplace. That wasn't the way it should have been because I'd never seen anything different, anything that would make the normal appear abstract. This was all there was. Just this.

That's really what I found so perplexing about the celestial rocks. Their appearance, composition, location, and meaning were all insignificant, and I still felt compelled to stare at them. Regardless of the irrationality of it, I stood and watched. As if with prolonged exposure their secrets would be revealed. Yes, the secrets I knew they didn't have. The truth I didn't actually care to know. My secrets. The secrets I knew my own mind was keeping from me. The secret of why I should gaze at the same moons every night, live in the same hole, observe the same idiots, and it should all still be so bizarre.

But I exagerate. It sounds like I cared about my own motivations when in truth that was not so. At all. I was aware of my shock and didn't want to find its roots. Sometimes out of sheer boredom I would consider my position without taking any action. That was my place. My existence was defined by three things: absolute apathy, absolute loyalty to Lord Cherubimon, and absolute, eternal, darkness. Other things occasionally dripped into my mind from the world around me, but they didn't stay long. Like water on duck feathers, they lingered for a moment and then slid off without a trace. I would take no action nor consider any truth until Lord Cherubimon directed me to do so. So I waited for him to instruct me. No rush, no urgency. No curiosity or passion. I remained isolated. Biding my time in the shadows where I belong.

For the most part my 'comrades' knew well enough to leave me alone there. They were always involved in one frivolous scheme or another, thinking themselves very clever and useful, schemes I wanted no part of. Perhaps they were trying to serve Cherubimon, perhaps they were just bored. Whatever the reasons, they stayed out of the lair and on the move. When they were within the walls I'd watch them, wondering how it was that I, Master of Darkness, could possibly be expected to function with such individuals. At first it was little things, collecting fractal code, establishing a fan club. Then they began talking about a group of human children who had stumbled upon the other spirits and I gave up pursuing them completely. The fact that they were talking and not boasting meant they hadn't managed to take care of the humans and get the Spirits like they were supposed to. Imbeciles. I watched them with contempt and they left me alone... for the most part. There were few exceptions. This was one of them.

"Duskmon, your presence was missed by Cherubimon. Dost thou think thine self so far superior to the rest of us that thou canst simply ignore a summons?" Mercurymon, Legendary Warrior of Steel. "Or perhaps tis thine sloth that binds you to your poses." Of all the idiots, he was the most intelligent. Had to give him that. He had a thumb in every pie and was even attempting to bake some of his own behind all our backs. An admirable effort, but his silver tongue could never fully conceal the truth. I knew his mind without ever exchanging more than three words with him, if that. This was our first actual conversation.

"Lord Cherubimon does not require my appearance at such meetings," I stated in a monotone, my gaze not moving from the moons. "He doesn't need to watch me; he can trust in my obedience." Unlike the others, Mercurymon picked up on the insult immediately. I might have smiled at the barely contained anger in his voice if I'd cared to.

"Thou doth question my loyalty whilst thou remains safe within these walls? We are sent to collect the Digital World's fractal code and thou doest nothing. Our numbers dwindle and thou art idle. Methinks it is your devotion that is lacking."

"Grumblemon was stupid and weak. Now he's gone. None of that is my concern. Besides, I'm not the one hoarding important fractal code." He let out a hiss of anger and his armor clinked as he shifted uncomfortably. I did smile, a hidden, twisted grin that would have chilled anyone's blood. Lord Cherubimon and I shared a mind, what he knew and chose to share with me funneled in through the darkness that bound me to him. I could hide nothing from his eyes. "Did you think we wouldn't notice? You really are a fool."

"And thou art the paragon of wisdom, I take it," he barked back.

"I am Lord Cherubimon's servant," I said coldly, finally turning to fact him my carmine eyes luminous reflections in his mirror body, all humor lost. "As are you. You would do well to remember that." No clever come backs. But he wasn't leaving either. "Tell me why you're here. What purpose do you have for discussing this with me?"

"Thou art Duskmon, Legendary Warrior of Darkness. I came to remind thee of thine place."

"Ironic."

"Thou shouldest be fighting by our side, not cowering in the shadows! If thine true wishes are to serve Lord Cherubimon, thou wouldest assist us against the humans!"

"The human children? You're asking for _my _help with your babysitting problems?"

"They posses the Spirits of the Legendary Warriors."

"They're human. They don't know how to use them."

"Come now Duskmon, of all Digimon thou must know the deceptions of the flesh." He was right. I approached him slowly, staring into his face icily. Mercurymon smiled down at me, raising his arm to show me the mirror shield secured there. "Correct?" Turning my head slightly, I gave him a dangerous look. His smile remained, taunting me, daring me to prove him wrong. Slowly, almost, dare I say it, timidly, my gaze moved to my own reflection, regarding it analytically.

I was small, even smaller than The Warrior of Water, Ranamon. Human sized. My eyes were wide and unblinking, irises large, pupils little more than black pricks in the red ocean. What would have been white in a human eye was black and non reflective, void. They peered from beneath locks of thick, black hair, which also fell before my ears and breathed on the base of my neck. A black, metal mask with no distinguishing markings covered my nose and mouth, following my cheek bones to my ears, and my skin was deathly pale. I was waring a black, tight shirt with long sleeves. Or sleeve, as it turned out. The black material covered my right arm down to the wrist like a second skin, then extended into a fingerless glove. The hand itself looked disproportionate, long and thin, with spider fingers ending in claw-like points. Bands of semi-circle, crimson metal lined the sides of my waist and ribs (protection, I suppose) and a strip of armor along my outer arm began with a yellow horn at my shoulder down to a thick black circlet around by wrist, secured by similar bands above and below my elbow. The armor was accented with crimson to look like steel feathers, strong but flexible. I was wearing simple, dark grey pants made of a slick material that allowed me to move silently and plain black boots. The less than exciting nature of this attire was more than made up for by my final appendage.

My left arm was... unnatural. The sleeve had been torn off, leaving just the shirts ragged edges to brush the hard flesh. It's difficult to describe just how that flesh looked looked. My skin was rufous, tough and scaly, like birds feet only red. The exoskeleton continued seamlessly down my arm, breaking only at the joints to allow me motion, and ended in a three fingered hand. Two of these seemed about the same length, which was probably a good 12 centimeters, and the third would have looked no different except is started closer to the wrist. All three ended in conical, white, razor sharp talons. Weapons used to draw blood.

My reflection was like the moons, the way it had always been and still somehow wrong, and I reacted to it the way I reacted to the moons. I stared. All in all, especially in comparison to the other Legendary Warriors, I didn't look that imposing. No one looking at me would have suspected my power. I preferred it that way. I liked the deception of this form, the smallness of it. The way it could fit into places, lurk in the darkness the way none of the others could even imagine. Perhaps I appeared weak, but I could sense the fear emanating from Mercurymon. I could feel his suppressed trembles as he approached me for his own ends. It was a dangerous game he was trying to play, one I would keep a close eye on. His plots had been useful to Lord Cherubimon so far, but the moment they ceased to be beneficial I would be there, ready to terminate.

"You're referring to me," I said bluntly, taking a step back. Not out of any kind of emotion, just to put some physical distance between us. "Is that your excuse for failure? That these humans are like me? Pathetic."

"If thou wilt refrain from speaking for me," he snapped, lowering his arms to his sides, leaving himself open to an attack. I assumed it was a sign of confidence and tilted my chin down and stared at him coldly through my bangs. "I will make clear my reasoning." He received no response. Twisting his mouth into a very unattractive knot, he continued in a lower voice. "There is power in those Spirits, power that will be very useful in the foreseeable future." Something about his blatant disloyalty, his veiled suggestion that he might use the Spirits instead of Lord Cherubimon, aggravated me. I felt the new but not completely alien desire to hurt, to strike an opponent and show them I was better, smarter, stronger.

"Don't think I don't see what you're doing," I spat, loosing my cool composure and striking at his weakest part. "Perhaps you can get Ranamon and Arbormon to do your menial labor, but I will not be manipulated." He struck back at my pride.

"Art thou perhaps afraid of the little humans? Is the almighty Duskmon worried that he shan't do any better than the rest of us?"

"If I want them dead they will die."

"Thine tongue seems mightier than thine blade. All I have done is state simple facts and thou attackest me with all ferocity, yet these humans stand in the way of Lord Cherubimon's plans and thou art lax." I didn't think the quip warranted a response. I turned my back on him and returned to gazing at the moons. This conversation was finished and he knew it. Mercurymon spun around, irritated, and sent one last taunt over his shoulder before leaving. "Perhaps thou shouldst consider my words before returning to thine moping." I watched him disappear out of the corner of my eye.

"Hmf," I snorted, folding my arms. "Traitorous moron. Never the less, he has a point..." I thought it over for a moment, coming quickly to a decision. The humans did have the Spirits, Spirits Lord Cherubimon wanted. And the other Legendary Warriors were either too weak or too preoccupied to obtain them. It looked like I was going to have to take action. "Those humans have become quite an annoyance. They need to be restrained..." I murmured, sliding back into the shadows.

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If I thought finding the humans would be difficult, I was very wrong. Any one with half a brain would have skirted the edges, determined the probability of returning alive and made the rational decision to stay away from the Dark Continent. They practically walked onto my door step and presented their Spirits to me on neat little bamboo platters. Any one with basic reasoning skills would have avoided my attention. They were waving nets to catch it like a butterfly. Needless to say I was somewhat less than impressed. One would think that the 'no one has ever returned' and big, black gate to nowhere would have been effective warning signs, but apparently that's not enough to keep a group of persistent pre-teens from their urgent mission. Instead they came marching into the Dark Continent like it was nothing more than a twilight park. Careless of the danger. Aware, yes, very aware. Their screams and starts echoed through the trees from time to time. Yet careless. They continued to press on into my territory, despite the stillness, despite the quiet that was far more dangerous than any attack, flies spiraling into my web. No, the hard part wasn't finding them, it was watching them.

There were four boys and a girl. She was tall and blond, green eyed and purple clad, jumpy. A boy who was always close to her, large, in a blue and yellow jumpsuit. The two were easily startled, glancing into the darkness around them frequently. The smallest was kept in the center, sheltered under a huge orange hat, somewhere between annoyed by and grateful for their patronization. Leading the pack was a boy with wild brown hair and goggles, brown gloved hands held easily behind his head, bright red shirt and jacket almost glowing in the gloom. They followed him unquestioningly, his determination infecting the others. All except one; the boy at his flank. In utter contrast he was carefully groomed, his rugged blue jacket and ponytail of dark hair carefully tailored to create the desired effect. His bandana held stray locks out of his fierce blue eyes and his hands were thrust defiantly into his pockets, shoulders held back. He alone could sense me, feel my eyes on his back, or maybe it was just his nature. He continually glanced into the shadows, not out of anxiety like the others, but in anticipation of the attack I was so intent on delivering. I felt the cold hatred boil up within me quite immediately, tempting me to act before the time came. There was... something about him. Something familiar, aggravating. Then I knew him. Warrior of Light.

_I remember a bright light..._ _It flickered and then was gone._

The humans did not appear to be the ultimate threat Mercurymon had described, what with their frolicking and joking about writing books with the little Digimon tailing them and playing with the luminous moss and a band of Pipisumon. Somehow, I had doubted his initial analysis, but this was just ridiculous. Grumblemon must have been a much greater idiot than I'd originally thought; these children hardly looked qualified to hold scissors, much less Legendary Spirits. Taking those Spirits should have been child's play, no pun intended. I had almost decided to finish the job myself and return to the lair, when Arbormon joined me. No doubt sent by Mercurymon as another pawn. Extra insurance incase his coercion hadn't worked on me. I wasn't attacking, so it was a clever bit of insurance. However, while I was as small as the humans, a shadow behind every tree and eyes constantly at their back, Arbormon had a much less subtle approach. Whether he viewed reconnaissance as pointless, deemed his previous experience with the humans sufficient, or just didn't think about it, Arbormon waisted no time watching the humans or gauging the battle ground. He jumped right into the humans path, Digivolved into Petaldramon, and began devouring trees and small Digimon indiscriminately.

He was very large and would have literally squished the humans had they remained such. After dodging the first attack, each pulled out a small, uniquely colored device and were surrounded by glowing periwinkle data. What was encased was small and pathetic. What emerged was far from human. The Legendary Beast Spirits had been given form. Still I was unimpressed. Their attacks struck Petaldramon's mossy flesh, leaving deep scars which pulled back together almost instantly. I was disappointed, really. My absolute apathy did not include the alleviation of boredom, and I had almost gotten my hopes up for a fight. Four legendary warriors against one, a rather incompetent one at that, and this was the best they could do? Very, very disappointing. Just when I was about to return to the lair, Petaldramon made his fatal mistake. He taunted his opponents while they were down and then failed to change his strategy. One cannot give an enemy the weapon of wrath, and then remain predictable. Petaldramon tried the same attacks that had worked seconds before, but this time the humans were ready. In a corny display of friendship and team work, the little human children brought down the mighty Warrior of Wood. If that wasn't embarrassing enough, it was the Warrior of Light that took his Best Spirit. My 'ally', stripped back down to Arbormon by my opposite. He'd lost his usefulness while the humans proved to be worth at least a little of my time. Maybe they'd amuse me a bit. It was time for me to make my entrance.

"Arbormon, now will you give up attacking us," demanded the Warrior of Fire harshly. One had to admire his tenacity, even me... if it weren't so annoying. Arbormon was quite lost for words, so I answered for him.

"Don't worry, he will no longer bother you," I said, slipping from the shadows into the dimly lit clearing. There was an audible hiss of surprise from all; the humans stared at me with expressions of absolute confusion, my small frame and black-red eyes contrasting sharply with Arbormon's almost pot-like structure, making me seem less of a threat.

"Duskmon!" My icy gaze shifted from the humans to my fallen comrade, laughing at the excitement in his voice. "Well, here comes the cavalry! A friend in need's a friend indeed, right?" My expression didn't change. His faltered. "You are here to help me, right? Together we're strong enough."

"Alone I'm strong enough," I corrected in a monotone. They all froze.

"Who is this guy," muttered the girl. I payed no attention. The humans would know soon enough.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You lost your Beast Spirit, Arbormon. Without it..." I raised my avian arm, extracting a savory gasp from the onlooking humans as they noticed, and from my comrade as his situation began to dawn on him. The tension was tangible; no one dared move. This was where I liked to be. I stared at my talons contemplatively, enjoying the dark power at my fingertips. "You are useless."

"Wha-" I pulled my talons through the air in an upward cut. Waves of purple-black energy flew from their tips and converted him back to data before he could finish the protest. This data flowed into the palm of my left hand and a digi-egg flew back to the Village of Beginnings. The useless warrior was gone and it was my turn to have a go at the humans.

"I will be your opponent now." The looks of absolute shock and horror on their faces almost made me smile. They were absolutely paralyzed, trapped in my paradox.

"Who are you," the Warrior of Light barked, shattering the spell. I turned slightly, starring directly into his eyes, unblinking. He did not recoil, much to my annoyance.

"Duskmon, Warrior of Darkness."

"Well, that explains the outfit," commented the Warrior of Fire.

"Takuya," chided the Warrior of Wind. "Don't make jokes."

"Why not? I mean, look at the guy! If it weren't for the eyes... and that arm, he'd be just like us. We defeated Grumblemon and Petaldramon, what's so intimidating about him?" As if to prove his point, this Takuya turned to face me, sending out a pathetic excuse of a fire ball in sheer arrogance. My eyes glowed crimson and the shadows reached out swallowed the flame. "Oh. Well, that's one thing, I guess."

"Execute," I said ominously, discarding any attempts at verbal play and allowing the periwinkle bands to envelope my body. When I emerged I was as large as any of their Human Spirits, clad in red and black ribbed armor, with long, pale hair and a skull helmet. My hands were dragon skulls and large, red eyes stared coldly from my shoulders, chest, knees, and feet. Waved crimson blades slid from the dragon's mouths and I stood ready, relaxed and expectant. "So, you think you can best me? That I am as weak as my brethren. Come, show me your power." With that I swung my sword through the air, sending a wave of red energy speeding towards them. They dodged, but the attack still left a long scar in it's wake, proving my point regardless.

"All he did was swing his sword," cried the Warrior of Ice.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," cautioned the Warrior of Wind. Wise girl.

"Come on guys," yelled the Warrior of Fire. "We're Legendary Warriors! We can't loose!" Oh, I could have laughed! Did they not realize that I too was a Legendary Warrior? One in his own environment, no less? He flew at me, obviously thinking that his speed and strength exceeded my own. Clearly he had never experienced the power of darkness. I enlightened him. In a slight, smooth move, I side-steped his attack, grabbed his elbow, and tossed him carelessly over my shoulder. As the humans gathered around their fallen leader, I advanced.

"I knew you were weak, but not to this extent. Perhaps I should give you the opportunity to surrender before I destroy you."

"This guy's hard core! Forget our Spirits, he just wants us out of the picture," mumbled the Warrior of Thunder. The Warrior of Light stepped in front of him defiantly his gravel voice challenging.

"You could give us that opportunity, but we won't take it!"

"You are very foolish creatures." They ignored me.

"Lobo-Kendo!" Next moment the Warrior of Light had a blade of light and he was swinging it at me with all the ferocity of our age old struggle. He was fast, but I was faster. I blocked his blade with ease, holding off his entire strength with one arm.

"Each of your attacks seems to get weaker, not stronger. You must know you can't beat me," I taunted logically. His jaw tightened, the truth of my words sinking in. "Give up, let the darkness end you," I whispered.

"A little help, you guys!" His calls were answered. They swarmed me, throwing everything they had at once. It wasn't enough. I flipped clear, floating in the air above them and reciprocating, using minimal effort. They weren't worth any of my energy, especially when my only intention at this point was to play with them.

"Deadly Gaze." Red beams shot from my eyes and the dragon's mouths of my hands. They scattered like sardines, managing to avoid the actual blow, but just barely. "What's the matter? Fight me. Surely you have more power than this."

"Don't... underestimate us! We're just getting warmed up!" I turned to find the Warrior of Fire regaining his feet. "You want power? I show you power! Wild Fire Tsunami!" A tornado of flames came at me, engulfing when I didn't even bother to dodge. There was no pain, but I couldn't move either. Not a total failure, but still far from impressive. Still too weak for me to bother with.

"Takuya, get out of there," yelled the Warrior of Light.

"Why? I just defeated him!" Hardly.

"All of us combined couldn't defeat him and you think you did it by yourself?!"

"Well... yeah."

"Just come on!" The annoyance was tangible.

"I mean, I hit him pretty good..." The voices faded and the power of the storm waned. I used my arm to cut through the flames and then, with one sharp sweep broke the wall, unharmed.

"We're not finished yet," I breathed coldly. But they were already gone, vanished into the gloom. Perhaps they thought they could run, get away somehow, hide. They couldn't. Not from me, not from the darkness. I allowed the periwinkle data to surround my body and transform me back into my much more mobile small form. And I pursued. Relentlessly. A few hours, maybe more. Lord Cherubimon wanted those Spirits. It was my purpose to do his bidding. Destroy the light... That's the reason I told myself anyway.

Yet there was something more to it. A feeling. For you this might not have been extraordinary; however, I didn't have feelings. I'd locked them all away in the darkness, my joy, my pain, my desires, all drowned in inky blackness. I felt nothing, I could feel nothing. I was Duskmon. And yet now I felt this.... I can't seem to find the word... hunger, this need to follow the humans. Mercurymon and Ranamon were both more than capable of taking care of the problem, more willing. It gave them pleasure to take life while I couldn't really care either way. As a result they had previously been the hands of Cherubimon in the Digital World. I waited, savoring the numbness and inaction the darkness of my heart brought. I'd been out before, collected a bit of fractal code here and there, but I'd never paid any attention or put any effort into it. For the first time I was interested. I wanted to continue. Their fervent retreat proved they didn't share the sentiment, but I didn't care. I wanted to face the humans again.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Told you that didn't mean anything! I got this most of the way finished, then decided I didn't like it. So I re worked it! I am taking some poetic license with Duskmon's character. He's a little bland in the show as far a dialogue, at least to start with, so I vocalized some oh his snarky superiority. If you disagree and think I'm misrepresenting the character, let me know in what way. I might not change 'cause I'm a vain little creature, but it's good to know so I might improve. Oh, and there's cheese. It's accurate and good cheese, but cheese nonetheless. I couldn't help myself, so look out for that. Good news! IB Done! Maybe mean faster updates? We'll see, I've never been not doing school work so who knows? Hopefully. Well, I think that's it from me! Enjoy, review to let me know what ya think, and stay in school. **

**Disclaimer: If it's copyrighted, I'm not claiming it. Or making a profit in any way. Don't sue, IB Broke too.

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Drive. It's really quite an interesting word. Interesting texture, taste, sensation as it leaves the lips. A drive. A need. An irresistible urge. So familiar, like the sensation of flying from a dream, and still so alien. I was consumed in a way I could never have possibly experienced before, yet for the distant echos in my heart that made this feel like a mere shadow. Desire like electricity, quickening my breath, a fast drum beat in my chest. And what, pray tell, had managed to push me into such... emotion? A little, tiny, assembly of children. Why a group of spineless humans had elicited such a response in me was a mystery. They hadn't fought well, hadn't demonstrated any kind of ability that I would find interesting. We'd met once and the smartest thing they'd done was run away. Nothing special, remarkable, or worthy of my attention. Rationally I should have just returned to my lair and left them for Mercurymon and Ranamon to deal with. Easier, less effort. But no. Rationality had lost to pure sensation and intuition, the essence of darkness. I felt driven, alive. Despite their numerous faults and failings, I pursued them. Wasting time and effort on a pointless task. Yet I persisted. The humans had awakened something in me, stirred the darkness in my heart back into life. How? Why? I couldn't say. All I knew for certain was that I was absolutely and irrationally compelled to follow them. Like I said: driven.

To give them credit, the humans were very good at running. Well, 'good' considering it was them. It took me a while (a few hours perhaps), but despite their best efforts, I found them. Or what I assumed were their best efforts, although they did light a fire in a place where the sun never rises, so maybe I was wrong and they weren't actually trying all that hard to avoid me. These humans made no sense. Predictable, weak, yes. Intelligent, debatable. They scurried away in fear and haste and I, passionate as I was, moseyed on after them at a leisurely pase. No point in rushing, they couldn't escape the shadow... and I wanted to give them time to regroup. Regain their strength and hopefully present more of a challenge. By the time I arrived the two leaders, the Warriors of Light and Fire, had disappeared, run off somewhere not too far away. The other three were huddled around their little campfire, abandoned, vulnerably human, a makeshift table with some discarded models of their Digimon forms and me strewn randomly. They had been trying to work out a plan, how cute. I stopped just shy of their camp, hiding behind the crumbling wall they had probably chosen to protect them, listening. No sense in attacking just yet. These children had defeated two of my brethren, the weaker two, yes, but two nonetheless. Already I was... curious about them. There had to be a reason their dullness was so fascinating. Maybe their words could give me the answers their actions lacked.

"They've been gone a while. Maybe we should check up on them?"

"Zoe, it's only been five minutes, relax. Give them some time, they've got a lot to talk over." A long pause. Tension. A frustrated sigh.

"You're right... I'm just so anxious! I'm worried their gonna do something stupid and fall off a cliff somewhere and never come back! Or start a fight and knock each other out. Give each other brain damage; you know those two. Or what if _he_- I don't know. This place makes me nervous."

"This place makes everyone nervous. But you heard Kouji, they're just gonna talk. No need to be neurotic."

"I'm not being neurotic! I have every reason to be concerned, I mean, since when have either of those two been able to keep it civil during an argument?"

"Look, they're more mature than you give them credit for."

"Hardly."

"They're just going to talk over Takuya's plan and come to a rational decision about how best to modify it."

"So you don't think that the argument this is bound to cause between the 'rational individuals' will result in violence?"

"Well... maybe a little violence. But it's not like they're going to kill each other over it."

"J.P., why are they going to change the plan? What's wrong with it? I thought Kouji was just being stubborn when he said he didn't like it."

"Tommy, I know you're on board with Takuya's plan, and that you helped come up with it, but Kouji has a point. We don't know anything about this Duskmon except that he showed up, killed his own ally, and then breathed on us and we fell over. 'Attack all at once' just doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do against a guy like that. I don't know about you, but he freaks me out, and Takuya wants to fight him again! Me? I'd just as soon go with Kouji and avoid him till cows come home."

"Yeah, but... we'll be ready this time, and he won't. Takuya says that now that we know what to expect we can work together and beat him!"

"And Kouji says that we're just not strong enough to take him head on. One of them has to convince the other they're right or nothing will get done. They'll never be able to come to a compromise."

"Takuya says that Kouji's just scared and that's why he wants to run away."

"Well, yeah. I mean, we're all scared, but that's not why Kouji- I mean, he is, but- Zoe, help me out here!"

"I don't know, guys. They're both right, in a way. He's really strong, stronger than anyone we've met maybe. But we're pretty strong too. Maybe Takuya's right and all it'll take is team work, but Kouji and that cold, analytical mind of his is also right to point out that we threw everything we had at him and he laughed it off like a feather! I just don't know who's _more _right, if that makes sense." She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees. The little one put his fists into his lap and stared at the fire intently, lips set tight. The large male in his blue jumpsuit, held up his hands defensively, struggling valiantly to brighten the mood.

"Hey, lighten up, guys. We'll get through this. Takuya and Kouji, they may argue a lot, and they may be total opposites when it comes to fighting, but they're good. They're really good. It may take a few swings, but they'll come up with something that'll work. They won't let us down, that much we can be sure of. So stop worrying so much." The Warrior of Wind smiled, peering appreciatively at the Warrior of Thunder out of the corner of her eye.

"You're right," she said quietly, her confidence causing the little one to relax a bit. "You're absolutely right." With that she stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back a bit, more at ease. "Thanks J.P." He grinned stupidly. I raised one eyebrow in disapproval. They digressed. This mushy gushy stuff was pointless; I didn't care how they tried to rationalize coming after me or running away. Each had the same result. Their bark was about as uninteresting as their bite, so to speak. It was initially intriguing to hear what they'd planned and now that the conversation had lost it's appeal, I'd just have to do something to end it. As loudly as I could, I pulled my talons across the weak stone of the wall, making a horrible screeching sound and dislodging small pebbles. These skipped across the ground like the shivers which brushed the humans' spins, calling to the tight fear in their hearts like a siren. Enticing them to me. They started, stiffening. Deer in the hunt.

"What was that!"

"Zoe, J.P., what's over there?" Trembling terror.

"You don't think it's... _him_." Charged silence. The truth battled the fear, fighting for dominance in their weak minds. Then-

"Don't be ridiculous you two! It's probably just more Pipisumon or some other Digimon. You remember how scary they were at first and how cute they turned out to be. Quit being so paranoid."

"Hey! That was before we had a crazed Master of Darkness out to get us. We have a reason for our paranoia now."

"Yeah, Zoe." His voice was shaky, afraid. Justifiable fear. I had every intention of destroying them as soon as I grew bored.

"Oh, for goodness sake! Here, I'll go look. And when I don't find anything you're both going to feel really silly." She pushed her self up swiftly, tossing her hair and starting towards me defiantly. Her footsteps ground into the stillness, the crunching of broken silence. The boys anxiety was sweet in the air, tangible. I withdrew deeper into the dark, concealing myself further.

"Zoe, be careful!" She stepped past the wall boldly, looking one way, then the other, failing to see me hidden in the shadows. I remained silent, watching her keenly, waiting for the right moment. The Warrior of Wind looked this way and that, uncertainty in her big doe eyes but kept carefully off her face. Like a deer assessing a clearing, stupid yet instinctual. She couldn't see me in the shadows if I did not wish to be seen, but she could feel me.

"What is it?"

"I don't see anything..." I heard the other two get up, coming over to help, braver now that the girl had taken the first steps and not faltered. Coming over into my trap. I could have laughed, had I the heart to do so. The girl moved further out, the light of the fire fading at her back, scrutinizing the shadows more intently, closer than before. "There's nothing." They faltered. Animal instincts trying desperately to survive.

"Let's make sure. Here, give me a sec." The sound of heavy feet running, skidding, pausing, then running back. As the firelight seemed to start moving closer, the little one stepped out from behind the wall, glancing around before his eyes settled directly on me, worried. He could see the carmine glint of my eyes in the shadows, sense my presence with the heightened fear of children far better than the other's logical approach. The infantile ability to see monsters in the closet gifted him with a way to dispel my illusion. How interesting.

"Zoe, let's go back," he begged, staring at my unmoving form. I could be a harmless Digimon, or a tree, or a figment, but the tight fear in his gut had correctly identified the danger and wanted his friend out of it. Clever. "Please, Zoe, lets go back. Lets go get Takuya and Kouji."

"Tommy, it's all right," she reassured, smiling kindly. "There's nothing here, it must have just been this old wall creaking."

"Here we go. This should help," said the Warrior of Thunder, passing the wall with a makeshift torch. The time had come. The light stripped away my shadow cloak, exposing me. Dispelling the darkness in that annoyingly efficient way. I was exposed, not unexpectedly, but not quite how I would have liked it. Nonetheless, the effect was still quite desirable. 'Tommy' shrieked, 'J.P.' dropped the torch, and 'Zoe' let out a piercing scream, stumbling away from me.

"Careful," I chided mockingly, advancing on them. "You should have looked closer. There's always something hiding in the shadows here."

"Duskmon," growled the Warrior of Thunder, stepping boldly in front of the Warriors of Wind and Ice, both of which were quite paralyzed by shock and fear. It was a noble, if exceedingly stupid, gesture. I held out my taloned hand, palm up, and let the darkness swirl around it like thick serpents of mist radiating violet. My carmine eyes glowed through my dark hair, light from the surface too far away to reach, my body relaxed, unconcerned. "Get back!" he threatened, scooping down to pick up the still burning torch. A last attempt at defense. In an instant I was right in front of them. He tried to step back but there was no where to go. I reached out and grabbed the end with my left hand, smothering the flame easily, swallowing its light and heat in my darkness. "Oh." I stared at him, gaze empty.

"Are you challenging me," I asked coldly, though I already knew the answer. His eyes widened and he let go of the wooden branch quickly.

"Who me? Not at all." The girl looked like there was a large part of her that wanted to sigh, but the tension of the situation held her still. "Just passing through"

"One doesn't just 'pass through' the Dark Continent." They stiffened. "Don't take me for a fool, I know what you're here for." No clever come back. Perhaps it was the imminent defeat. Perhaps they just didn't want to provoke me. "You realize I cannot allow you to reach your goal." The Warrior of Thunder's jaw set, the Warrior of Wind tucked her chin to her chest, pursing her lips. They realized just how close they were to failure. If I attacked now, while they were human, without the others to come to their rescue, it'd be finished. There'd be no continuing, no more quest. Done. The end. I might have grinned sadistically had I possessed the emotional capacity to do so. This was the power of darkness, the power to consume hope, to control weak minds, to project the future I desired. I reveled in it. There was a sharp intake of breath, then...

"You can't stop us!" An unexpected burst of courage. My gaze moved to the little one who had spoken, his bright green eyes peering defiantly from behind the Warrior of Thunder. Some of their head strong leader's arrogance rubbing off on him no doubt. "When we fight together we're stronger than you because we have something you could never have!" I didn't answer immediately. The echo of his exclamation died slowly and once the silence swallowed its brightness and the despair of dark settled again, I answered.

"And what is that," I patronized sneeringly. Well, as much as my black heart could allow. My voice was frozen monotone and my eyes unblinking.

"Friendship." Simple, childish response, but accurate. True, I had no friends. No allies. Nothing to get in my way. Odd that he would count this as a weakness. Yet my brethren had attacked alone when they were defeated, so maybe there was merit to his words. I was... curious.

"Friendship." I lowered my arm, still grasping the dark branch. Non-threatening, at ease. They didn't relax, smart, but unnecessary. I would indulge my curiosity in the humans for now. Discover what it was that made them special, what gave them the power to defeat Lord Cherubimon's Legendary Warriors, weak as they were. I wouldn't attack until I was satisfied. "Explain."

"What do you mean?" Suspicion. I was darkness, I could understand that. "What do you want?" The Warrior of Wind, the girl, trying to be the negotiator, to get out of danger using nothing but her tongue.

"You defeated my... allies. You will explain how." They looked very much like they wanted to run away. "I will not harm you until I have my answer. Explain this 'friendship'." Silence. They didn't know what to say. Strangely enough, I found this humorous. I had never before experienced emotion that I could remember, and now, in the presence of these humans, I almost felt... I don't know the words. At least, I didn't at the time. It was like... a memory of emotion from someone else's mind. Echos from a heart that had long ceased to beat. These people, in a world where nothing was right, they were real. The three didn't move, and my patience began to ware thin. "I will not wait. If you cannot explain yourselves I will destroy you now."

"You want to know what makes us strong!" A voice from the distance, gruff, fiery. I rolled my head on my neck, the lips I couldn't have had twisting into an intoxicated grin. The final two had arrived, flanked me, and given away any hope of surprise. The one who had spoken, the Warrior of Fire looked almost excited to see me, determination and arrogance burning in his brown eyes, while the one of Light looked very, very concerned. He was obviously the smart one. He stared at me with cold, dark blue eyes, knowing eyes. Eyes I couldn't look away from. The eternal combat of Light and Darkness... and something more. I stared at this Warrior of Light fixedly, the sense of familiarity overwhelming me like a bout of nausea and vertigo. How was it that I should stare at the moons for my entire existence and still this boy feel more tangible than they ever could. My heart beat once in my ears, then the Warrior of Fire broke the stillness. "You want to know how we beat your buddies? Well, I'll tell you!"

"What abnormally dramatic creatures you are," I commented, unimpressed. "I ask for a simple explanation and you start ranting at me. Do you wish so for death?"

"Takuya," cried the female, both a warning and a cry of relief, neglecting the other. He didn't seem to be bothered, his unwavering gaze never leaving me. So the wolf smells his kin, how interesting. We were both hunters, solitary, heartless, but that alone would not earn him my respect. My greatest concern was learning about how these humans intended to fight me. Light skims the surface; Darkness seeks something more, to understand the specifics. I wanted to know what made them tick. I wanted them to explain this 'friendship' I found so alien and worthless.

"Careful, Taky! This guys not playing around!"

"Well neither are we!" He advanced, coming into the clearing. The other followed silently, ready for the strike I was about to deliver. "You may have caught us off guard before, but we're ready for you now! And you can't beat us! You want to know what friendship is, well I'll tell you! Friendship means we fight as a team, that we back each other up."

"We enhance each other's strengths and make up for each other's faults," added the Warrior of Thunder boldly.

"Whatever we do, we do together. Even if it's stupid and reckless, we won't give up!"

"That's why a big bully like you can't beat us! Because we'll stick together while you're all alone!"

"You're nothing but a nightmare shadow. We've fought worse." Anti-climactic as their little declarations were, the final, gravelly words from the blue eyed boy stung. Their 'power' was no more than children's delusions, the fantasy of the united front doomed to failure. Nonetheless, I was offended. I was Duskmon, Son of Darkness, and they thought a little mushy-gushy, Care Bears crap was going to defeat me? Please.

"Nightmare shadow? Surely you must know how pitiful that sounds? So, that's it. You think relying on each other makes you strong? You think 'teamwork' will save you? How long do you think those frail human bodies will last? Would you care to test your 'friendship' against the darkness?" Without ceremony I snapped the would-be torch between my talons, emphasizing my strength. The Warrior of Fire made a move like he wanted to fight me hand to hand, but the Warrior of Light held him back, still staring at me, unblinking.

"You wouldn't attack us unarmed," said the girl quickly, stepping out from her shelter to defend the boys. They looked at her, a mixture of gratitude, unease, and disappointment on their faces.

"Why's that," I asked icily, not moving my gaze from the Warrior of Light. He was my greatest enemy, that I knew from the start. The why would come later.

"There's no fun in it. Kill us now and you'll never know what we can do. It won't be a fair test."

"What makes you think I seek anything more than your destruction? Why would I be concerned with 'fun'?" She paused. I moved my eyes to her, cocking my head just slightly.

"If you just wanted us dead," she said in a voice calm enough to rival my own. "You would have come straight into our camp and done it, not pulled us out like this, not taken the time to talk to us." Logic. Reason. I hated it.

"You are correct," I hissed quietly, dangerously. "It's pointless to fight you now. As you are. Human." They winced as a unit, aware of their vulnerability. Even the Warrior of Fire had to admit without his Spirit I would tear him to shreds."Spirit Evolve." They made no move. I raised my right hand, showing them the long, sharp nails. Claws on a demented reflection of their own flesh. "Spirit Evolve or die now." I swung at them. They jumped back, turning and rushing back to the fire. The other two darted for the shelter of the trees, followed closely by eerie periwinkle light. I followed suit. "Execute," I whispered, summoning the bands of data to transform me into my larger, more deadly form. Duskmon was ready, crimson blades out. The humans' faces hardened as they pulled out the devices that changed them into Digimon.

"Execute," they cried together. "Spirit Evolution!" As the Beast Legendary Warriors emerged, I turned and began to walk away, putting distance between us and giving the Warriors of Fire and Light a chance to rejoin their comrades. The girl was right, no 'fun' unless they were all together.

"What! _You're _running away! After all that? What gives?" I looked at them over my shoulder, skeptically, then I raised my sword slowly, pointing the blade at them. A wave of dark energy shot from the tip, slicing into the earth as it rushed towards them. With a yip the humans jumped out of the way, shielding themselves from the debris as it crashed into their camp. "Guess not."

"Show me your power." I was ready for them now, ready to see what the fuss was about. And they for me. Me against them, two units in combat. Unfortunately, that's not how they fought. For all their fluffy, 'we fight as one' speeches and 'teamwork' promotion, the actual attack was probably about as coordinated as a group of five year olds putting on a musical. For a second they stood unified, then the Warrior of Fire broke off and came at me. I dodged his attacks easily, without batting an eye actually, so when that didn't work, he struck me full across the face. With his foot. And the impact barely forced me to turn my head. If the attack weren't so terribly pathetic and he hadn't tried the exact same thing earlier I would have been slightly impressed by his sheer recklessness. As it was, I couldn't really say much other than "You fool, did you learn nothing from our last meeting?" His clever response?

"I can't loose." A short, quavering, not quite convinced sentence. Deep. Plan A had failed, so he switched to Plan B and started to punch me, which was even less effective than the kicking. It was actually kind of funny, he seemed so shocked nothing was working.

"Are you finished," I asked after a while, bored. He looked extremely upset by my question, stunned by his own ineffectiveness, and jumped around me, trying to hold me in place. For my part, I just stood there, mildly interested in what in the Digital World he thought he was going to accomplish with that tactic.

"Attack now," he screamed from my back. Wow, impressive. It must have taken a great deal of brain power to come up with that one. The others, who had just been standing there watching, as embarrassed as I was by their little friend's efforts, surged into action, surrounding me. "It's over Duskmon! You're finished," yelled their fearless leader at my back. I didn't move, as if to say 'come on, try it.' So they did. "Let him have it!" He jumped clear. There was a chorus of attacks, "Hurricane Gale!" "Avalanche Axes!", the works. Their master plan, the one it had taken them hours to come up with, was to throw everything they had at me, all at once. Brilliant.

I won't lie, it was a nice display of power. It lit up into a pretty rainbow globe, at least. And it kind of twinged. They did manage to trap me inside the energy, that much is true; however, they hadn't done their research. Or even thought it out logically. At all. The thing about darkness is that it absorbs. It consumes, pulls anything and everything into its empty void. Like a black hole, its capacity is boundless. It'll take up a whole lot of sand to fill up the ocean. So, with a defining groan, I pulled 'all they had' into my darkness. In effect, I absorbed their attacks like a sponge, rendering the entire scheme completely futile. Most of the humans looked disappointed, but no one had really expected it to work. No one but the Warrior of Fire.

"It's not possible!" I turned slowly, growing tired of the game. It was time to end it.

"This is a waste of time. So, you first." I appeared before him and raised my sword. He no longer made the pretense of fighting, stopped trying. Like the child he was, he closed his eyes and waited for the blow to come. For a moment I stared at him coldly, satisfied by my superiority. Then I struck, one swift, devastating blow. It was over. It was beginning. The name they all yelled, the name of the fallen, was not the 'Takuya' I had grown to associate with the Warrior of Fire. At the last second the Warrior of Light had jumped in front of my blade; it was his blood on my sword, his human body that was being cradled by the much larger Digimon. The cold one from before, the only one who had the wit to try and avoid me, the one that could sense me.

"Kouji!"

That name- That face... it burned.

"K-Kou-ji..." I felt the name form in my mouth, tasted it as it bit my tongue. Bitter, painful, agony unlike any I could have even imagined in my frozen state. Knives so much more effective than what they'd perviously used assaulted my ears, blood returning to my iced heart too fast. Why? Why did I feel like this?

"Kouji! Kouji! KOUJI!" I backed up, frightened of the small broken form before me, sensations unlike anything I'd ever experienced torturing my body and mind. Terror. Guilt. Feelings I didn't know I could experience now laid waste to my frozen heart.

"What is this! What is happening!" They were talking, words too far away for me to understand. I was swimming in ice water, so deep the pressure threatened to crush me. It was crushing me! I couldn't breath, couldn't understand. This water, these depths, once so familiar and comfortable now an affliction. Pins and needles everywhere, unable to breath, about to implode, the torment of awakening.

"This is all my fault. Kouji!" Were the words mine or his? The voice was Takuya's but the words... My words, my fault! I felt myself slid back into the form that looked so human, fall to my knees and scream. His face, before me like the sun, burning, melting. I could see it just past the ice, see the sun, the truth. The Darkness clawed at me, pulling me back into its depths, the ice in my veins. But I resisted, I fought, forced it out. I didn't want to go back to sleep, didn't want the pain to stop. Black seeped from my body as I grabbed at my chest, gushing out like water from a hole, coating everything in its path. I screamed as it left, my blood oozing from the wound his name had inflicted. It was terrible, but it was a feeling. It was truth. For a moment my head broke the surface and I was bathed in the desolation of light. I was more than I thought. What else could I do? The screams were so loud, like fire, the knowledge acid in my mind. I had to get away.

With the unique ability given by Cherubimon-sama to his top servants, I teleported somewhere. Anywhere, I wasn't sure. Away from there.

Then the Darkness took me back, and I remembered nothing but the pain.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Here we go. A little disjointed and kind of clumpy, but it adds to the overall mood and feel. Didn't really plan it that way, but that's how it came out and after many times reading it over the check and revise, I've decided it's quite profound. Perhaps I even wrote that way on purpose. But who am I kidding? We are all slaves to the muse's will. My excuse for the slow update: I was kindly selected to participate in summer homework. No joke. Woopty-doo. Have fun! **

**Disclaimer: Perhaps one day I shall be able to claim ownership to more than just the plot concept and actual writing and development. Today is not that day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

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_ Everything was black. Just... black. No shape, no texture, no sensation. Nothing to do, nothing to think. Nothing to feel. Then a form in the distance, blurry and pale at first, slowly coming into focus. An apparition without sentiment. A boy, about eleven, tall and confident. He had black hair so dark it was almost blue, long, ragged, pulled into a ponytail which brushed his shoulder blades. It wasn't quite long enough to rest over either of his shoulders and all stray hairs were tied away from his face by a dark blue and musty gold bandana, giving it the appearance of a wolf tail. His legs were covered by dark grey, ankle length pants and his shoes were large and white, striped in blue. A pale yellow shirt covered by a dark blue jacket, flawlessly coordinated stripes of the same yellow running down the arms. Too coordinated. Two loose locks of hair hung before his ears, framing a nicely structured, stern face. Deep, dark, steely blue eyes stared silently from beneath well shaped and serious brows. Too serious for a boy this age. Thin, but toned, his body was relaxed, shoulders back, chin high, one hand thrust into a pant-pocket, the other holding a chord of some sort. Firm grip, but on what, there was no telling. _

_ All I could see was the boy, the rest was a grey blur about him. Then black. Like he was a dim lamp set against still night. He repelled some of the mist, but not much. Not enough. He was smiling, And it wasn't the exuberant smile of sheer joy, nor the smirk of amusement. This was a small smile, a bitter sweet smile. Content. Life was good; not great, but for the moment, good. Suddenly he moved, a sharp jerk from the chord he was holding. His face changed, the smile falling and a look of shock coming into those confident eyes The jolt twisted his body, spinning him down into the cement. And just like that the boy who had been the model of poise and strength was sprawled on his back. I felt... pain. Pain for him. He wasn't down long, an arm almost immediately took back his weight as he pushed himself up. For a moment he let his head hang back, staring at the sky as if to mutter a silent "Ow ..." before pulling it onto his chest. I wanted to go to him, help him if I could, and I hadn't the faintest clue why. Compassion for this boy I couldn't know, this flickering mirage in the darkness that couldn't even exist bubbling in my chest. I didn't understand why or how, but I did __**feel **__it. Impossible but true. The boy groaned loudly, but before he could get on his feet another voice called from the darkness. _

_ "Kouji!" _

My eyes shot open, though I maintained enough control to keep the rest of my body stone still. That had been... disconcerting. I had returned to Lord Cherubimon's lair, to my alcove near the top, but I couldn't for the life of me recall why I'd left or where I'd gone. At least I could take comfort in the relative safety of my position, I hadn't gotten myself killed. I hadn't gone somewhere too far away. Still on the Dark Continent, my alcove provided the ideal hiding place from the world, but this far up, above the overcast sky, the sun shown from time to time. Now, it was all pale grey and pre-dawn mist, but soon the sun would burn that all away. I could smell it, and I hated it, yet for some reason I couldn't get my body to move. The vision had paralyzed me, holding me to the sky until I could ground myself again.

That boy- Kouji. Why couldn't I remember anything besides that name? I shifted uncomfortably, feeling somehow out of place in my own skin. Part of me wanted to shrug the human boy off as nothing but a dream, but the rest of me knew better. Kouji was important somehow. There was a reason I'd seen him behind my eyes, a reason his name was so clear in the fog. Like a key at the bottom of a pool of black. Until I'd seen his face I hadn't even realized I was a prisoner and until I'd retained his name I'd believed my memory to be complete. Now the line between what I knew and what was had been blured. Something had happened while I was gone. Something that had cast these doubts and dreams... I just couldn't remember. I placed my 'human' hand over my brow, wishing these thoughts would quiet back into the numb of before, when intruders interrupted my solitude.

"So, the great Warrior of Darkness returns! I trust his expedition was a success?"

"Well, I sure hope so! 'Else this would just be the most embarrassing sight I ever did see!"

"Why are you here," I sighed, not even bothering to look at the visitors. Mercurymon and Ranamon come to harass me, though why they'd chosen now was a mystery. "Do you not have humans to hunt?"

"Now ya see, that's funny! 'Cause we were under the impression that you'd taken over that lil job for us." Her voice was so screechy. My head already hurt, this was not helping.

"We hath come to see if thou art as successful as't thou boasts in your encounters with the humans."

Encounters with the humans... The humans in the Digital World. That annoying group of wretches that had been causing Lord Cherubimon so much trouble. Well, that was one question answered. I'd gone to see them. Kouji was one of those brats. Why couldn't I remember anything past that? Why had it taken these morons to jog the memories that were there? Simple humans shouldn't have been able to damage me, yet I knew in my core that this confusion was their fault. What had the done to me and, more importantly, how?

"Hey! Are you listenin' over there! Do ya have their Spirits or not?" I began inspecting the talons on my left hand, genuinely not interested. This conversation had no benefit to me, I wanted them to know that. My answers could only be found in the darkness or in the humans themselves. The Warrior of Water, easily agitated as she was, was beside herself at my response. "Just so ya know, sugar, I'm talkin' to you! And unless ya want things to get really messy you'll start payin' better attention!"

"Surly you at least engaged the humans in combat. I find it difficult to believe all thou didst was look them."

Combat: fighting between armed forces. A fight... that's right. There'd been a fight. I'd fought the humans. Had I won? I found the alternative to be almost impossible; yet I was here, body sore from unknown events, with no certain facts other than I didn't have the humans' Spirits. I remembered... I remembered the humans talking... something about friendship and teamwork. I remembered them being weak, pitifully so, and overconfident. And that boy, the Warrior of Light- Kouji. There was something about him... Something important. Knowledge locked deep in the darkness of my heart, so deep I couldn't reach it. Why did I all of a sudden feel like something was being kept from me?

"I'll bet that's all he did! I betcha he took one look at the five Legendary Warriors and chickened out like the coward he is!" Oh, I was so wounded.

"Indeed, that does seem probable. Duskmon has never before proven himself in battle against an equal, perhaps five against one was too daunting a task."

"Believe what you will," I said smoothly, standing in a fluid motion and testing the sharpness of my talons against my palm. "The humans aren't worth my time."

"I see. So thou art saying that serving your Master, Lord Cherubimon, by collecting the Spirits those humans so unfortunately stumbled upon is not worth thine time?" I granted him a single, empty, sideways look, my carmine eyes reflecting dangerously in his mirrors. Ranamon jumped enthusiastically, caught up in her own ego for fighting the humans and not dying.

"I knew it! I knew it! For all your taunts about loyalty and obedience you're just a scared lil mouse hiding in the shadows! You see, Mercurymon? You see! I told ya he has no real power! I told you he wasn't worth your time!" I would have very much liked for them to leave. Yet they insisted on trying to rub a perceived failure in my face. Unsuccessful and annoying creatures.

"Yes, milady, perhaps you were correct. It appears as if the great Warrior of Darkness hath no pluck or skill for our task. Come. We shall find Arbormon and finish it our-"

"Arbormon's dead," I cut in coldly.

"What! Those pathetic lil brats beat another one of us! Of all the nerve-"

"The humans defeated Petaldramon and took his Spirit."

"And thou didst nothing but watch, I assume. Thou saw thine brethren defeated and fled." I turned to face the two full on, all pretense and games abandoned. Had I the ability, I would have given them a cruel smirk.

"I killed him. As he lay begging the humans for his life I took it."

"Why you insolent- You traitorous- You-" Ranamon had turned the most unpleasant shade of pink, her little body shaking with indignity. "Back stabbin' mole!" I turned my head slightly to the side, assessing her.

"Are you challenging me?"

"I'll do more than that!" She raised her hands menacingly, stiffening her fingers and grinning in an almost intimidating manner. "Dark Vap-" I cut her off before she could summon the attack, moving through the shadows and appearing before her in an instant. My icy left hand closed about her throat, talons making small dents in the soft blue skin.

"I wouldn't do that. The moment Arbormon lost his Beast Spirit he became useless. I saved him Grumblemon's humiliation."

"Filth," she yipped, dull fingers clawing at my iron scales.

"If I had no reluctance to take Arbormon's Spirit, a Legendary Warrior who had served my Master well in the past, what chance do you think you have? You who have done nothing but groom and run away. If you are unable to serve Lord Cherubimon then your life has no value." I tightened my grip. She squealed, her eyes wide, understanding. I would take her Spirits if I so desired, and there was nothing she could do to stop me.

"Do not forget, Duskmon," chided Mercurymon, placing a gilded hand on my shoulder. "You yourself have yet to achieve success. Neither hast thou found thine Beast Spirit. Do not be so quick to insult others when thine own worth has yet to be proven." I snorted, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye. So, protecting his little water friend. With a shove I released Ranamon and knocked Mercurymon's hand away.

"Get out."

"Why, Mercurymon! It looks like you struck a nerve!"

"Get out now." I could feel Mercurymon's cold, calculating gaze at my back. Trying to figure out if I was bluffing. I was not.

"All play aside, answer me this, Duskmon," he said carefully, treading across broken glass. Ranamon made a noise of protest, but he silenced her quickly. I turned my back on them and moved back to my place at the rim. "Will you continue to pursue the humans or have you abandoned that goal." That was none of his business. Unfortunately, Mercurymon was nothing if not persistent. He wouldn't leave until he had his answer and I wanted them both gone before the sun came up. I needed them gone before the sun came up. Not bothering to face them, I spoke directly to the horizon, as if to proclaim my intentions to the world.

"I will investigate these humans in my own way in my own time. Do what you will with them, just be aware that the Warrior of Light is mine. Touch him, and regardless of what you say or try, I will have your Spirits. _All _of your Spirits."The ensuing silence was only broken by Ranamon's incessant huffs of indignation. Yet she wisely swallowed any comments. Mercurymon regarded me for a long, tense moment. Then I heard him turn and begin to move off.

"Come, Ranamon."

"What! We're just gonna leave him here?"

"We have Spirits to take. Duskmon remains, for the time being, out ally. We shall abide by his request. Now come, Lord Cherubimon expects those humans to be dealt with."

"Ohhhhh, fine! Have it your way!" There was the soft sound of padding feet as the two descended, leaving me in blissful solitude. At least, that's what I thought. As I stared out at the clouds, trying to sort out my thoughts, the sun began to sneak from its hiding place beneath the earth. So, that's what I sought. I hadn't realized until I said it, but I wanted the Warrior of Light. I wanted to take him apart and figure out just what it was about him that made me, well, _feel_. Why I was so desperate to find him. Why his name caused my so much pain.

_The pain you feel is from the light. That is what hurts you, Duskmon, not the boy._

I was unfazed by the voice in my mind. Lord Cherubimon, Master of Darkness. My Master. He was always there back then, always on the edge of my thoughts. Before I'd found it comforting, yet now his presence made me slightly uneasy. My feelings were not acceptable, I was well aware of that. Doubts, however fleeting, were not tolerated.

"Have you been listening this entire time, my lord," I asked humbly. His eyes were right behind me, large and crimson. Controlling. I sensed his affirmation. "Do you disapprove?"

_No. You've done well. Now give me the Human Spirit of Wood._

I held out my left hand, palm up, and braced myself. A large, dark claw reached over my shoulder and raked across the exposed flesh, causing me to wince. Unlike the others, I was more attached to the data I collected. It became a part of me and had to be forcibly removed from my body. In retrospect, that was probably because I, unlike the others, had a body. Data and data are fluid, like oil and water. The data of the existing organism has a certain polarity, which holds the stolen data without allowing it to mingle. Flesh and data, on the other hand, mix, blending into one entity. I'd thought about this a lot once I'd been purified, wondered why I hadn't mutated like before when I obtained Lowemon and Jagerlowemon. Something had served as a barrier between human and Spirit then and with the others, something I hadn't had as Duskmon. The D-Tectors. Cherubimon fused me directly with the Spirit of Darkness, there was no where else to store the data than in my body. Now, as he called to it, the fractal code was drawn through the cut in my hand, leaving an aching vacuum. It condensed into the Human Spirit of Wood, which floated innocently for a moment and then was consumed by darkness. A chord of Cherubimon's dark energy coiled about the injured limb as soon as the code had been drawn out and was absorbed into the scaly flesh, stitching the wound but leaving the pain. I grabbed the wrist with my right hand and held it close to my chest, keeping my eyes blank.

_Good boy. Now, about the Warrior of Light. He concerns you._

"There's something... familiar about him." No response. Unease. Disapproval. "Who is he?"

_No one!_

His voice was angry all of a sudden, his nails at the nape of my neck. I stiffened, feeling his presence in my mind. Usually it was passive, observant and satisfied. This time was different, he wanted something from me. Fingers in my soul, digging, searching, persistent and agitated. I did not resist; he was my Master and I his servant. Whatever he wanted I could not deny. Coldness spread through me as his fist closed about my heart, forcing me into an almost trance like state before I realized what had happened. I was numb and blank once more; all my doubts washed away, all my pain frozen. The memories I had remained but why they were important escaped me.

_The Warrior of Light is nothing but a vessel. He is light and for that reason and that reason alone he is your enemy. _

I cast my gaze to the ground, unsure. This was Lord Cherubimon speaking, he was not wrong; yet I felt in my core deeper than even Lord Cherubimon could reach that there was more to Kouji than just light. That he was more to me than just an enemy.

_I can feel the reluctance in your heart. Don't let this human make you forget what you are. You are the Son of Darkness. My Son of Darkness. Do you understand?_

Ice water surged through my veins and I heard my self answer in a monotone. "Yes Lord Cherubimon." He was satisfied with that. I felt the cold pressure lessen, felt strength return to my body.

_Good. _

He withdrew, a dark mass sinking back into shadow. Leaving me alone... or as alone as I ever was. The sun burst over the horizon, golden and brilliant. For an instant I indulged myself, staring into it defiantly, enviously. The sun didn't need to play any games, it just rose and set. A force of nature not to be hindered or denied. There was a time when I was like that. I had been powerful, unstoppable, my only function to serve my master. Just as the sun simply preformed its duty, I had been content to be Lord Cherubimon's tool. Technically, I still was, but something had changed. Despite Cherubimon's bindings, despite the fact he believed I was unchanged, I could feel the difference. Not so much a defiance of the way of things, simply an awareness of it. As opposed to numbness, I knew I was cold. I knew there were lies.

The time of blind servitude was past. The instant I'd heard his name, I'd found myself at odds with that role. Lord Cherubimon would have me destroy the boy without question, and he believed me to be so cornered I had no other options, but it was too late. I had questions, side paths. I needed to know why the name 'Kouji' hurt so much. I needed to understand the humans. Yet I was still darkness, still Duskmon. Nothing could ever make me forget that. With one quick sweeping motion, I created a dark barrier between myself and the quickly rising sun before its warm light could advance any closer. Shrouding myself in total darkness. I would find my answers, in my own way, in my own time, without interference. Then I would serve my Master's will, as I was designed to. I would ruin the humans and erase the light called Kouji.

* * *

For a group of such unintelligent creatures the humans certainly seemed to have learned from our previous encounters. There were no tell tale fires or loud conversations and screams this time. No dead give away as to their location. **His** location. It was... obnoxious. Perhaps if I could remember where I'd seen them last, relocation would have been easier. But no, I couldn't remember that much. All I could retrieve (or perhaps all there was) was a fire, a conversation, a fight. A plan... attack all at once. No power, no coordination. The Warrior of Flame, Takuya, he was rash, overconfident. Something about friendship, teamwork. These words I didn't used to understand now vibrating with new, incomprehensible meaning. Fragmented, flashes of thought and sensation. Kouji.

I brushed the hair from my forehead with the back of my right hand, leaving one long, clawed finger leaning against my temple. Whenever I tried to access anything concerning the humans in general, not to mention anything concerning him, a buzzing started in my skull. A buzzing that quickly turned into a throbbing if I persisted. Cherubimon's darkness, or perhaps my own inhibitions, trying to keep me blissfully ignorant. No- that wasn't quite the right word. I had the knowledge, couldn't find it, but I did have it. What this force inside me was trying to do was keep me unaware. Keep me from seeking out the light. But wasn't that what I was supposed to do? Seek out the light and extinguish it? Why would that which had commissioned me to this goal try so hard to keep me from it? Yet I couldn't get close to this goal without finding the humans. And I couldn't find the humans with these persistent head aches.

I let out a gentle snort and closed my eyes, frustrated. This shouldn't have been nearly as difficult as it was turning out to be. There were thousands of places to hide, hundreds of crevices into which one could disappear and never be found- well, at least not until the will to hide was lost and the darkness had eroded the soul. The Dark Continent was pitted with deep caverns and littered with ruins from towns and cities not long past. I knew because I'd created them. It had not always been so still and lifeless; there had been pockets of Digimon content to live in isolation and bliss away from the bothers of the outside world before Cherubimon had come. He'd offered them an ultimatum: serve him or die. Some chose life and were corrupted by him, sent out to the other continents to collect data and increase their own numbers. For the rest I was dispatched. It had been the eve of my creation, the task to prove my worth and loyalty, and I excelled. Like a shadow I swept across the land and lakes, leaving nothing but gashes in the earth, tumbled walls, and crumbling fortresses. There'd been no resistance and I'd used less effort and power than I'd displayed to the humans. And just like that all life on the Dark Continent, with the obvious exception of the less intelligent and capable Digimon such as Pipisumon, was sent back to the Village of Beginnings. I became Lord Cherubimon's greatest and favorite asset (though in retrospect, I probably was his favorite asset even before I'd been fused with the Spirit of Darkness) and the others learned to fear me.

I closed my eyes, focusing, reaching out to the darkness around me. They could hide, there were many places to do so, but I'd cleanse this land as I had before. There was no place to escape from the darkness, and where there was darkness there was me. I listened to its whispers, taking in the news.

"Stop! You're going to break it!"

"Give it back!"

"Stop it! Leave it alone!"

Sharp calls from the distance. Human calls. It was enough.

"Execute," I murmured unenthusiastically, slipping into Duskmon's true body. Though I preferred my mutated human body (small, unassuming, easily underestimated or severely intimidating as I pleased), this form was stronger, faster. I summoned a cloud of darkness to transport me to the voices source in the way gifted to Cherubimon's top servants, and in an instant I was there. Scattered slabs of thick grey stone, some standing others flat, and a fortress several meters away. There was a group of Datamon on the closest flat stone, bashing small devices against the hard surface. The cries were emitting from three humans who where tied with their hands above their heads to the nearby standing stone, protesting vigorously at what I could only assume to be the mutilation of their D-Tectors. The scene was quite mundane, loud, and the Warrior of Light was not among the captured. I was about to move on when Ranamon and Mercurymon decided to show up. Noisily.

"This is it! These are the only ones you could find?"

"Yes, milady, these are the only three I could find. The other two hath disappeared, no doubt run away after their confrontation with Duskmon."

"Don't talk about Kouji and Takuya like that! You don't know anything! They'd never abandon us like that!" Of course, the human boy felt it necessary to comment. Bad move.

"Precisely."

"Now what's that suppose to mean!"

"Art thou too flustered by Duskmon's nonsense to comprehend?"

"Don't you mention that swine's name!"

"We'll use these three to lure out the others. You heard the human. They shall come for their kin. Now be content to wait, woman."

"I'm sick of waitin'. Why can't we just go find them ourselves!"

"Dost though not possess a smidgin of sense! Canst thou see in the dark? There art thousands of shadows for the little humans to hide in and unless thou will'st swallow thine pride and ask Duskmon for his aide, thou shan't ever find them here."

"I wouldn't ask him for help if it was the end of the Digital World! That monster's nothin' but a halm-fisted, back stabbin' mole who can't be trusted with a two foot pole, let alone a serious job like this."

"Glad to see I'm so well appreciated," I said sardonically, making my presence known as I stepped from behind the nearby boulder. It was ideal, close enough to observe but far enough to go unnoticed. Ranamon jumped about half a meter into the air and Mercurymon's mouth tightened. Clearly my being here was not part of his little plan.

"Duskmon," he welcomed smoothly nonetheless. "How good of you to join us."

"Duskmon," growled the large, blue jump-suited human under his breath, but before he could get anything else out the girl to his right kicked him sharply in the shins, shaking her head. I ignored them.

"What do you think you're doing," I said coldly, cutting right to the chase.

"Serving Lord Cherubimon," answered Ranamon smartly. I didn't grace her with so much as a glance, keeping my cold gaze fixed on Mercurymon. He held it defiantly.

"We are removing the Spirits from these humans' devices and trapping their friends." I scoffed. The humans debated energetically under their breath, trying not to be heard."I should think you wouldst be impressed by the efficiency of our plan."

"So instead of beating the Spirits out of these humans as we were instructed, you're removing the surgically while they're defenceless. It's a cowards way out of actual work. Or were you simply hopping to avoid Lord Cherubimon's attention and keep these for yourself too?"

Before Mercurymon could decide whether to attack me for my impudence or not, the battle between humans broke into ours. "You wanna know where Takuya and Kouji are? Why don't you ask him! Go on, Duskmon, tell them what you did with them! What did you do to our friends!"

"J.P., be quiet!"

"Is it true Duskmon? Art thou keeping secrets about the humans? Do share."

"He's probably been collaboratin' with 'em!"

"Spill it! What did you do with Kouji and Takuya!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said icily, turning to face my attacker head on. He was no threat, restrained and human, yet the lightning in his eyes, the sharp intensity of his rage, evoked fear of a thunder storm. It was admirable.

"What, did your little freak out damage your brain too? I want to know what you did after you almost killed Kouji!"

I'd almost killed Kouji? Almost? Why hadn't I done it? What had restrained me and why couldn't I remember? Up until this point I'd thought that my missing memories were little more than a nuisance. I would have remembered anything important, right? But such a confrontation with the humans was important, it was very important. What had made me forget and, better still, why? What was happening to me?

"See, Mercurymon, see! I told you! He could have gotten rid of one of the humans and he didn't! That sounds like treason to me!"

"It does strike one as odd, indeed. Perhaps, milady, there is some stock in your argument yet. Tell me Duskmon, does Lord Cherubimon know of this?"

"I told you I don't know what he's talking about," I repeated in a tone fit for Siberia. It was a lie. It had to be. "This human is making up stories to distract us and give his companions time to regroup, nothing more."

"What's the matter Duskmon? 'Fraid we'll tattle on you to Lord Cherubimon? Doesn' sound like a bad idea, now does it."

"Think it's an invention, do you. Yeah, sure, whatever. Why don't you go back and see for yourself?"

"J.P. shut up," snapped the girl, giving him a vicious glare. "What if they went back to look for us? They're not ready and we're no good on our own," she added under her breath.

_When we fight together we're stronger than you because we have something you could never have!_

The echoes grated across and through my gut, causing a sharp pain. I let out a small, barely audible cry of surprise, raising one dragon hand to my head as if it could sooth the residual ache. Mercurymon's lips twisted into a sadistic grin at this and he cupped his chin thoughtfully and I quickly regained my composure. Too late though, the damage had been done; I'd shown weakness and even if Ranamon was too self-absorbed to notice, Mercurymon wasn't.

"Hey, what's wrong with him? Do you think he really doesn't remember," asked the little one timidly. The girl narrowed her eyes at me, analyzing, thinking.

"I don't know, Tommy," she admitted under her breath.

"Shut your pie hole," barked Ranamon, venting.

"Fascinating. Fascinating indeed," murmured Mercurymon. Scheming twit. He was already trying to work it to his advantage.

"Well I'h don' see what's so fascinatin'. Lets jus' squash them all now and be done with it!"

"Now now, milady, be not too rash with thine actions. There is worth to be discovered yet." Ranamon folded her arms, huffing angrily but brightening when she caught a glimpse of herself in Mercurymon's armor. Her vanity was really quite astounding. I took note of it as a weakness. "I found these pests in the forest," he said, turning to me and raising his arm to point, depriving Ranamon of her mirror. She protested loudly, but was ignored. "Go straight until you reach a crater, thine handiwork I assume. Perhaps thou shalt find thine Warrior of Light there, as well as... other things." His grin widened. I didn't appreciate the inference.

"Don't waste your time on these three," I said, moving in the indicated direction at my own pace. "They don't know anything and wouldn't tell you if they did."

"We'll jus' see about that," I heard Ranamon snarl as I disappeared into the trees. I didn't care. It had been advice for advice, never mind if they actually took it. As soon as I was safely out of sight I broke into a run, new, alien urgency clawing at me. My answers, all my whys, they were in the memories I'd lost. Of that much I was certain. When I found them, this nagging sense of wrongness, this indescribable urge to peruse, these human emotions I shouldn't have had, they'd all disappear. The site of our battle, if it truly existed, would return things to the way they were if I could just find it. The quest could be over and I'd just be Lord Cherubimon's pawn again. Part of me yearned for that, was desperate to sink back so deep I couldn't even realize I wasn't even alive. And the other part... The other part had tasted truth, sunlight, balance and rightness. It hungered for knowledge, reprieve, destiny. All I could earnestly feel, and agree upon, what the craving for Kouji. He was my key.

It took much less time than I expected to find the battle ground. Before I really registered that I'd entered a clearing I was almost falling into the tell take crater. I stopped just short of the edge, slid back into my human form, and squatted. This certainly was my doing, I could smell the dark imprint, taste my own lingering agony in the earth. Gingerly I reached out, running my fingers across the rim and sending slides of dirt down the slopes.

_ That's why a big bully like you can't beat us! Because we'll stick together while you're all alone!_

They'd come at me. I'd fought, struck. The Warrior of Light.

_ I backed up, frightened of the small broken form before me, sensations unlike anything I'd ever experienced torturing my body and mind. Terror. Guilt. Feelings I didn't know I could experience now laid waste to my frozen heart. _

Kouji.

_I felt the name form in my mouth, tasted it as it bit my tongue. Bitter, painful, agony unlike any I could have even imagined in my frozen state. Knives so much more effective than what they'd perviously used assaulted my ears, blood returning to my iced heart too fast. _

Jumbled. Out of order. Fragments- too many fragments. I fell forward onto my knees, pressing my hands over my ears as if that could block out the memories I'd so fervently sought.

_They were talking, words too far away for me to understand. I was swimming in ice water, so deep the pressure threatened to crush me. It was crushing me! I couldn't breath, couldn't understand. This water, these depths, once so familiar and comfortable now an affliction. Pins and needles everywhere, unable to breath, about to implode, the torment of awakening._

It returned. That feeling, that sensation. Assaulting my body and mind. Pain so intense all I could do was wish it away. I curled up, trying to scream away the torture, but my voice was stuck. I'd almost killed him. I should have killed him. But something held me back, something like a terrible sickness decaying inside me. Putrid and paralytic.

"So, you came back too, huh?" I looked up in pure shock, meeting the fiercely active gaze of Agunimon, Warrior of Flame. I tried to push myself to my feet but found I wasn't strong enough. "What did you do with my friends!"

"I've done nothing," I answered honestly, staring at him over my shoulder.

"Liar!" He shot a fire ball at me without any more warning than that, probably hoping to catch me by surprise. To his credit, he did. I was just faster than he anticipated. Without batting an eye I twisted and caught the flame in my avian left hand, smothering it instantly.

"There's no need for that," I chided, standing up. "I have no desire to fight you."

"Well if you don't tell me what happened to my friends, you'll have no choice. I'm not gonna just give up on them! I'll beat whoever I have to, become as strong as I have to, if it means helping them!" I lowered my hand as he set himself into a battle stance, considering him. "So come on. Give me your best shot!"

"You and I are not so different, Warrior of Flame," I said quietly. "You seek power, as do I. You will not be denied; neither will I."

"I'm nothing like you!"

"The only difference is that I know what I am while you still haven't come to understand what it is to be a Legendary Warrior. While I embody Darkness, while I let it flow through me, let it become me, you're still just a human boy playing with matches."

"That's not true! I am Agunimon!"

"Lie to yourself, if it pleases you, but not to me. I am the source of all lies, the origin of deception. And I am in my element. Do you honestly think you stand a chance?"

"What are you talking about? Come on!" He shot another fire ball at me and with less effort than the first I caught it. He was making a conscious effort to breath slowly now, his shoulders hunched over, teeth barred, as it trying to both threaten me and appease me at the same time. Something about his frustration... touched me. I didn't like to see him so worked up and before I could figure out why I'd taken action to hep him.

"Do you wish to understand," I asked quietly, taking a small move towards him. "I'll help you, but in return you'll have to help me."

"I'll never help you! You're a monster! Like Mercurymon and Ranamon and all the others and we'll destroy you like one."

"Such a hasty creature," I murmured so that he could hear. He tensed in anger, as I had intended, but nothing more. "I am quite different from them. They serve their lust for power, Ranamon her vanity and Mercurymon his greed, nothing else. All I seek at are answers."

"That's not what you wanted the last time we met," he spat scornfully. I took no heed. He was too arrogant, too self assured despite this newfound restraint. I'd need a more tempting reward.

"Pay attention. What happened here the last time we fought? Tell me that, and I'll tell you where your friends are."

"I knew it! You liar, what did you do with them!"

"Answer the question."

"Well how should I know what happened! Kouji saved me from you then you started screaming and... leaking." He said this with extreme uncertainty, as if these weren't the right words to describe what happened, but nothing else came close. I listened in silence, expressionless. "Then I'm back in the real world, but I'm a Digimon and it's the past and I don't know! Why do you care any way?"

I had no answer for him, no reason to ask such a question or make such a bargain. Such was not my way; I took what I wanted regardless of the cost to others. I didn't hesitate, didn't care. I was by no means a creature of mercy or compassion, yet there I was. I hadn't killed the Kouji boy and I was helping this one find his insignificant buddies because I felt sorry for the lot of them. Why? The Warrior of Flame held my cold gaze, naively expecting me to hold up my end of the deal. There was no reason to. I had what I wanted and Lord Cherubimon would have his Spirits if Mercurymon and Ranamon kept at it and I turned on this boy. Then only the Warrior of Light would be left and there'd be no one to interfere. That was the way of corrupted darkness, my way. And yet...

"Mercurymon and Ranamon have your friends about a kilometer that way," I said indicating the direction I'd come from. "They're attempting to pry the Spirits from you devices, so you will be careful if you want their frail human bodies to survive the encounter. But be warned, Takuya-san cannot defeat the Legendary Warriors, only Agunimon can." A sharp pain shot through my head and I let out a gasp of surprise and agony, dropping to one knee. The second time I'd displayed weakness in front of an enemy. Whose was this other voice inside me? Thankfully, the human boy was too distracted to recognize the opening.

"And what the heck is that supposed to mean," he berated without looking at me.

"Agunimon wants to become you," I spat, staggering to my feet and finding a nearby tree to support myself. "But you have to let him. This is the Continent of Darkness, where shadows and dreams masquerade as reality. If you're quiet here, if you take a moment to listen, the whispers are louder."

"Just what on Earth are you talking about! What are you trying to feed me?" I didn't answer. I couldn't. The black claw in my heart had finally grabbed hold of my tongue, holding so it could no longer aid my enemy. Things were better this way, with a weak enemy, easier. Why was I helping him? What was this impulse I felt deep in my gut to safe guard the humans well being? I felt my insides turn and twist nauseatingly and bent over slightly, seeking the relief which would only come from sinking my blades into the human's flesh. Into Kouji's flesh. "If you've been lying to me this whole time-"

"There's only one way to find out, isn't there," I choked, giving him a wicked sideways glare. "Go find them. Go help them." He got very close to me, within striking distance, attempting to appear intimidating.

"Why should I trust you, Duskmon! You try to kill us and now all you want to do is help? What's you're deal?"

"I seek only one thing and it has nothing to do with you."

"But-" He was cut of when the darkness in my left hand condensed into Duskmon's curving, crimson blade. I raised the sword slowly as I straightened on my own feet, pointing its tip at his throat.

"I will make this simple for you. Go save your insignificant friends now, before Mercurymon and Ranamon tire of their play, or stay and fight me, though you will be unable to do the former after the latter. There will be no mercy this time, no hesitation. I will kill you. Then I will take care of the Warrior of Light. What's it to be?"

"But... why," was all he could say. He was leaning back slightly, hands twisted so his palms were facing me, fingers spread, chin tucked. His gaze was uncertain, confused, conflicted. Calculating. Impressive, that was strange coming from him. This newfound maturity led him to consider his options, strategize, think before he acted.

My offer didn't make sense to him, as much as it did to me any way, but the alternative made even less. I could see the logic in his eyes, the intuition beginning to kick in. Clearly his friends weren't here, and even if I was directing him into a trap, he'd had enough experience in this world to know that if his friends weren't the bait, they were looking for him as fervently as he searched for them. A battle would draw the attention of almost anyone on the Continent. My change of heart was an oddity, not a factor affecting his decision. I stared at him coldly, assuring him that I would follow through with my threat should he choose to fight, and he took the hint. Cautiously, he moved off, his eyes never leaving mine and my blade never faltering. We circled each other, switching positions slowly, tensely, until he was facing his destination. Then he took off. I watched him, arm still extended, until he was a speck of fire in the gloom and after he faded into nothing. It wasn't until the rain came, soaking the earth in an icy sheet, that I moved on, unsure of what had passed between us or where to go next.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Kind of an exposition-y type chapter, but it is important and sets the stage for when I get to start really going crazy. I'm gonna follow the general plot for a bit longer, then break off almost entirely in the detail work. I apologies for the long wait then the 'filler'; just think of it as that part of the roller-coaster when you're being tugged up to the top. Savor the anticipation and all that jazz. I could go on, but I mostly just want to get this dude on the web. Ya know what I'm sayin', bro? Ok, I'm done.**

**Disclaimer: Baby steps. Today I own nothing, but tomorrow… Let's be honest, I'll still probably own nothing. Don't kill my dreams.

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The greatest symptom of extremism is arrogance. Anything that fails to see past its own ideology hasn't done so through an inability to entertain more than one option, just an unwillingness. A conscious decision to ignore that which isn't like itself. The opposition has been evaluated, considered, and rejected as inferior. Dirty, even. That which is 'pure' is not better; it is unbalanced, pushed to the extreme. Pure ideology, pure faith, pure light or darkness, all are just fanatics hiding behind the word. We're all human; our only solid definition of 'pure' is scientific, yet the quest for purification is as constant as our global pulse. What is right and what is wrong? How do we identify the good from the bad? How do we separate them? And finally, how do we destroy the evil. This "noble" pursuit is as much a façade as lie, for in the destruction of perceived evil, true evil is birthed. Everything exists in parts, sometimes in harmony, sometimes in conflict, but always in mixture. Everything is defined as it juxtaposes with something else. Hard and soft, bitter and sweet, cold and hot. One only exists _because_ of the other. To remove one aspect of something in an attempt to "purify it" is the greatest act of egotism, for in this desecration the human has put his own believes ahead of what is. In essence, humanity's quest for purity is one and the same with the quest for supremacy. No guilt, no consequences, no rules. Just take over and wipe out what is unacceptable. It's presumptuous to think that by removing what we find displeasing from a system we can solve every problem. It's wickedly conceited to think through the destruction of one part the rest can be made better. The greatest sin of the pure is pride. I should know. I was pure.

I couldn't tell you where I was or what was happening when this thought occurred to me because I don't know. I was in the forest talking to Agunimon, then I was alone, then it rained, then it stopped. For the longest time I just stood there, unaffected by the changes around me, not even realizing they were happening. At some point I began to move again, not really going any where for any purpose. My body just up and started wandering as my brain fought my skull endlessly. There was a storm too, at some point. Wind, rain, snow, thunder, the whole bit. It tore at my hair and whistled through my armor, but I don't remember feeling cold. I don't remember anything but a blur of trees and black spinning around me like some kind of demented carousel. All I know for certain is that wherever I was or whatever I did, this sense of self-loathing ate at my mind. Whether I stood or walked, thought or didn't, it persisted. I hated myself so much it was sickening, and I didn't know if it was because I'd helped the human or because I'd attacked him in the first place.

I should have taken his Spirit; I should have ripped it from his frail human body then used whatever was left over to draw out the others. To draw _him_ out. To end it. But no, instead I tell the enemy to listen to his Spirit and actually take its advice. I tell him to channel the elemental power he didn't even know existed to defeat my allies and increase my adversaries. In short, instead of doing my duty and fulfilling my destiny, I helped the humans become stronger. Instead of destroying the light I magnified it. And I wasn't entirely sure that was a bad thing. Why? What was this weak parasite inside of me which compelled me to such mutiny? What was this aching disgust, this hatred, that could only be directed at a mirror. If I was always and meant to be such a cold-blooded killer why did I feel so squeamish? If I was just Duskmon why did it feel like there was someone else inside me trying to undo everything I did? And worst of all, how was I supposed to know which one, the killer or the pacifist, was the real me? The fact of it was that at that particular moment all I was really sure about was that each half of me vehemently hated the other and it was driving me insane.

"I'm so sorry you guys; this was all my fault!"

I halted- well, a more appropriate phrase would be 'stopped as if I'd run into a brick wall'. As if my skeleton had tried to continue moving but the rest of me had become frozen to the spot. Or the reverse. It was jarring and, more relevantly, it was almost painful. The humans were close, just beyond the trees. I could hear them, but actually looking at them through the undergrowth and trunks was impossible. At least that meant that the inverse was true; they couldn't see me.

"What are you talking about? You're the one who rescued us!"

"But-"

"It's OK Takuya. We were worried about cha, but I knew you'd come through."

So, the little human managed to save his buddies from the forces of darkness. Bully for him. A large part of me wanted and, to a certain extent still wants to say they wouldn't be so fortunate the next time. Yet I couldn't find the will just then to move in. Perhaps I was exhausted from my little internal battle; maybe I was just being lazy. What I told myself, and what was probably closest to the truth, was that I hadn't finished stalking them yet. Evaluating the situation. I wasn't prepared to face-

"I guess I really owe you one, Kouji."

Him.

The name stung like acid, not as badly as the first time, but still enough to make grit my teeth. He was there. My tormenter, the danger I knew next to nothing about, the light. He was right there, mere meters away. I felt the old giddiness swell within me for an instant before it was overrun by a nausea so intense it flavored my throat with bile.

"Nah, all of us owe Takuya. You've really changed."

His voice was even worse. Like my blood was literally boiling in my frozen veins. I wanted to attack him and avoid him all at once and no matter how strong either impulse got, the other always rose to meet it. But I couldn't do either. The tide had caught me by the ankles and pulled them out from under me. Until I found my feet I couldn't do anything rash. On that point, at least, I was in agreement. I couldn't act, but I could listen, learn. That's always been something I've excelled at. I relaxed my body and closed my eyes, focusing on the voices.

"Yeah, I hardly recognize myself. I don't feel like a kid any more. I think I finally understand what being a Digimon is all about."

There was a rather uncomfortable, shocked silence. If any of the others understood, they certainly never worded it like that. I felt the inexplicable urge to snort superiorly.

"It's like, before I was just fighting as me, as Agunimon. But now I'm fighting as me and Agunimon. Does that make any sense," he tried to clarify.

"None at all." The Warrior of Thunder, always ready with a blunt answer. The Warrior of Flame laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, guess that was a stupid question. Didn't make much sense to me either when Duskmon first-"

"What." The Warrior of Light said sharply. The tension in the air shot up so quickly it was almost like gravity had doubled. I could see his blue eyes behind mine, feel them as they cut to meet Takuya's warm brown orbs. I winced slightly. "You saw Duskmon."

"Yeah, back where we last fought, but it was different this time. He was different. He refused to fight me and told me where to find you guys. And that I wasn't meeting my full potential as a Digimon."

"Well, I could've told you that. Doesn't make talking to a monster any less dangerous. Did you forget what he almost did to you last time? What he almost did to all of us?"

"No, I think he's right." The girl inserted, speaking almost too fast, least the reason in her argument fall away before she got it out. "Kouji, this is gonna sound crazy, but I think Takuya's right."

"I resent that." She ignored him and kept going in that oddly rushed tone.

"Before you showed up, Duskmon came to talk to Ranamon and Mercurymon. He didn't seem to remember fighting us. I don't think he remembers-"

"Trying to kill me. Please. I know this guy, I've crossed swords with him. Anything he says, anything he does, it's all just a means to an end."

"I don't doubt that. I'm just saying… it's not that black and white."

A disdainful scoff.

"Hey, you weren't there! Zoe's telling the truth!"

"But J.P. when Duskmon was talking to us you didn't seem to believe him."

"Uh… well… No, ok, at the time I didn't. But I've thought it over since then and if that little freak out he had didn't, I don't know, damage his brain somehow, then why would he have needed to ask Mercurymon and Ranamon where they found us? If he did remember, why didn't he just go right back there on his own? I don't know about you guys, but he doesn't strike me as the type to ask others for help unless it's absolutely necessary. It doesn't make sense."

"That's because he's manipulating you. Everything he does is so that he can take our Spirits and give them to Cherubimon like the rest of them in whatever way is most convenient. Only thing you can be sure of is that it's bad for us."

"Look, we're not saying the guy's not evil. He's definitely evil. We're just pointing out that he might be a little, uh, schitzo too."

"Schitzo or not, Duskmon is unlike anything we've fought so far. If he gets the chance, he'll destroy us and there's not a thing we can do about it."

"No, not us," the little one muttered. There were some throaty sounds of confusion. I could picture it in my mind, the boy staring at the ground, the others watching him, each feature and expression precise and clear. Except for one. "If he wanted us… dead, and he could do it, wouldn't we be… you know." A charged silence. "Takuya, Kouji, you weren't there when he came. I mean, we were sitting ducks and after what he did to Arbormon there's no way we would have stood a chance even if Mercurymon and Ranamon had wanted to stop him. But he didn't do anything to us; he barely noticed us at all! It was like we didn't matter. All he wanted was to know where they'd found us."

"Tommy, I know it's hard for you to understand, but-"

"No, he's right. Kouji, he wasn't there for our Spirits or anything. _Everyone's _been there for our Spirits, but he just called Mercurymon a coward for not fighting us and went off like they were just bottle cap collecting! He's got another agenda."

"And remember back there when he…"

"When he what? Could have killed me and didn't? Yeah, I remember." The chill in his tone rivaled my own and for an instant, it was enough to frost the others into silence. I expected the conversation to finish with that and turned my back to leave. Then he kept talking, his voice like red-hot needles in my ears. I could tell even his friends were surprised by this continuation. It wasn't normal for him to elaborate. "It's all a blur after he hit me, just a swarm of shouting and screams and darkness. I know he could have ended it right then and there with just another blow, and I don't understand why he didn't. I mean, I would've."

"He heard your name, and he looked at you, and then it was like something inside him just snapped. It was almost… sad, the way he screamed."

"Yeah…" The conversation lapsed once more into uncomfortable quiet. There was the sound of a hand landing heavily on a sturdy shoulder, once, then again.

"No sense worryin' about it now! I'm just glad were all back together and all right. Lets just get to the Rose Morning Star and rescue Ophanimon. If Duskmon's still a problem after that, we'll deal with him then!" The Warrior of Light gave a reassured snort and knocked the Warrior of Flame's hand away teasingly.

"Right." Three pairs of feet moved off immediately after that, their rhythm quick and enthusiastic.

"Who knows, probably just one of those balance things. You know, darkness can't exist without the light. It's all really symbolic in a way."

"J.P., you're such a show off."

"You're just jealous because you couldn't come up with something that deep."

"Yep, I'm pretty green with envy." Normal walk, normal banter. There was only one problem; there were five humans.

"Hey Kouji," whispered the girl, a warm grin in her lyrical voice.

"We should get moving before the League of Wit misses us."

"Thank you." Momentary stillness. Surprise.

"What for?"

"For opening up. I know that you're not really the type to share your thoughts and all. It's just nice to know you can trust us like that."

"I didn't- uh…" He sighed heavily through his nose. "Just don't expect me to make a habit of it."

"Hey guys, better hurry up! Or the monsters'll get ya!"

"Oh please! We both know of the two of us you're more likely to get eaten! I hear they prefer impulsive idiot."

"What! Five minutes ago you couldn't stop talkin' about how much I've grown up and now I'm an impulsive idiot again?"

"Pretty much."

"Now now, children, play nice."

"Shut up J.P."

"Boys."

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It didn't take long for me to find myself back in Cherubimon's lair after that. I felt safe there, protected, though I was slowly beginning to realize that whenever I returned to Lord Cherubimon it wasn't protection I sought. This place wasn't my domain, it was my prison; and the more I encountered the humans the more obvious that became. Some part of my existence was a lie and it was only here or in Kouji's presence that I felt comfortable with that. Here hurt a lot less, but it couldn't suppress everything. I'd fled back to the stone caves as quickly as I could, seeking the relief closeness to Lord Cherubimon would bring, trying to re-forget the events I'd worked so hard to remember. He had known this knowledge would cause me pain and had tried to take it away. To keep me numb and efficient, to ensure the power of his favorite warrior. Wasn't that what I wanted too? Did I not share my master's goals, as a servant should? The answer was no, I didn't. I should have, but I didn't. My recent actions had made this abundantly clear to me and, worse still, had made my enemies aware as well. The Warrior of Thunder was right, I did have another agenda. I wished I knew what it was.

Nausea spun in my head as I tried to focus, conflict beating in my heart like a war drum. A servant is his master's tool, messenger, and laborer. Whatever the master's goals are, the servant shares them. Whatever the master's methods are, the servant utilizes them. I was Lord Cherubimon's servant- more than that- I was his creation. There was nothing before Lord Cherubimon, nothing after, and nothing separate. I was because Lord Cherubimon willed it, simple as that. He wanted the Spirits, so I would to bring them to him. He wanted the humans gone, so I would vanquish them. There was no other purpose to my existence… yet I couldn't take the necessary action. The humans were just out of reach, unarmed, weak. Easy prey. I could accomplish all of Lord Cherubimon's objectives in one night- one blow. I could purify my world of all light and let the darkness consume all as it had me. It would be child's play.

Or so I thought. Try as I might, I couldn't deny that there was now something else inside of me, something _not_ pure darkness. It sympathized with the humans, wanted to help them despite the fact that that went directly against Lord Cherubimon's wishes. It _had_ gone directly against Lord Cherubimon's wishes. When it could have destroyed the human pests it hesitated and when it could have collected their Spirits it walked off on some quest of self-discovery. It was weak, pathetic, and infectious. I couldn't understand it; nor did I want to. I wanted Lord Cherubimon to take it away as he had before, to silence this pain and sickness and return me to Duskmon, the embodiment of pure Darkness. Things had been better then, hadn't they? I'd been better when killing was easy and mass extermination was just a day's work in gathering fractal code. I'd been stronger, I'd been able to take on the world. Right?

_When we fight together we're stronger than you because we have something you could never have!_

The human's words rang in my head constantly, repeating over and over to the tune of Kouji's screams. They weren't stronger than me. I could dispose of them in one night if I so desired, despite fact that they were channeling their elements now. I **was** my element. I was more powerful; I deserved to be more powerful. Yet all it took was one little, broken body and the next thing I know I'm off on this cathartic roller coaster and someone's taken out the breaks. I would crash soon if I didn't get myself under control. Usually Lord Cherubimon would have noticed my turmoil and come to me at once, as he had when I'd first seen the Kouji boy. But as the data had begun to build up and the humans drew closer to the Rose Morning Star, he'd been spending more and more time either in that room of solid light and color, muttering to whatever he kept in there, or else alone in the darkness, muttering to that too. Whatever he was doing was none of my business. I obeyed my orders (until recently), asked no questions and received no answers. It was an efficient system; besides, I was not to go to either place. They were of no consequence to me. Nonetheless, though Lord Cherubimon didn't recognize my crisis, someone else did.

"Good day Duskmon." Mercurymon, back from his latest defeat to torment me. "Or perhaps, the day is not so good."

"Considering you lost the humans again, I would agree."

"Their fall shall come in due time. Patience, my dark friend, is indeed a virtue. I was, in fact, referring to your day. Hast thine skulking and moping not been as productive as't thou would have liked?"

"If you have a point, make it and leave. I don't have time for your riddles."

"On the contrary, dear Duskmon, thou hast plenty of time. Thou canst continue thine quest to eradicate the light. Thine pain holds thee back, restrains thee from thine goal. Until its origins are discovered, thou canst move forward."

"I'm not in pain."

"Thine lies are as weak as thine mind. Ranamon is a fool, as are the humans, but I am not blind. I see the war with in thee. And I know who shall win." I turned to face him sharply, eyes burning with carmine fury.

"What do you know," I spat coldly. "You whose only accomplishments in life are schemes which never come to fruition. Lord Cherubimon still rules and you are no closer to usurping him now with Seraphimon's data and his allies shrunk than you were before. You're a pathetic rat with delusions of importance and I could kill you with ease if I wished."

"Ah, yes, indeed thou couldst dispatch of me in an instant if it struck thine fancy. I am not stupid enough to pit myself against the Warrior of Darkness in his own element."

"Then what do you want?"

"I happened upon an odd memory whilst I was 'scheming' in the shadows. 'Tis an interesting story, should you wish to hear it."

"I don't."

"T'was back in our earlier days of carnage, before you or the humans had entered the set. When we would gather fractal code unhindered and every Digimon would cower at the mere mention of our names. Why, t'was sheer, glorious chaos!"

"How very interesting," I said mockingly, turning my back on him and folding my arms.

"Truly. Yet such did not please Lord Cherubimon. He sought something else, something we were not privy to. Digimon were sent out to find this secret, among them a serpent called Nabikasumon."

"Mercurymon, I don't care."

"Patience, Duskmon! Thou may wish to rethink that soon. I wouldst not waste thine time for no reason," he snapped contemptuously. I kept my back turned. "Nabikasumon brought Lord Cherubimon a sixth human, one we had never seen before and have never seen since." There was a rather long, strained silence.

"I'm sorry, was there a point somewhere in all that?"

"Do not mistake me for a fool Duskmon; I know you have taken over Nabikasumon's task! Cherubimon was collecting humans then and he is collecting them now! Thou shall tell me why!"

He lunged at me, but, as always, I was quicker. I had the tip of my blade touching his reflection of a nose before he'd taken two steps. "No," I said coldly, sliding in closer as I hooked the curved edge underneath his chin. "No. You have spent too much time fantasizing about your own greatness Mercurymon. You're seeing conspiracy where none exists. I am Duskmon, Warrior of Darkness, Lord Cherubimon's servant. Nothing more."

"That is precisely why I came to you," he hissed at me, pushing the sword away and stepping back. "We are all well aware of thine prized status with our Lord. I wish to be of service to him! I wish to know what you know."

"You're lying again, Mercurymon."

"Lie or not you _do_ know something about this plot of Cherubimon's. Something more than he wishes, 'else why should thine memory be so distorted? I wish to be included. I can be of great service to those who ask and, for the right price, my tongue can be held."

"What is it Mercurymon? Are you afraid that Lord Cherubimon has a new plan and you're not a part of it? Do you honestly think the humans posses something besides the Spirits which would make them worth our while? Worried you're going to miss out on some big power play? Stop being so ridiculous and leave me alone."

"If Lord Cherubimon is not planning something with the humans," he continued cautiously, humbled. "Then why dost thou pursue them with such passion? What transpired with the sixth human?"

"Get out." He grinned maliciously.

"There is a scheme in motion here, whether or not thou carest to acknowledge it. I will play a part, and emerge victorious. Of that you can be assured. However, I am neither without loyalty nor above the art of bribery. When you see Sakakumon on the horizon you can be assured that the humans are inside. Thine Warrior of Light will be trapped, alone and separated from his little friends. If thou should wish to confront him, I can assure you a secure area suited to your tastes." With that he (finally) turned to leave, a smug grin playing on his reflected lips.

"Wait," I called after him, hating myself for prolonging the encounter. "Why?"

"Come now, Duskmon," he said without looking back. "Should thou wish to play my games, thou must obey my rules. You will tell me of the sixth human, it is simply a matter of how much you wish to receive for the information." He left me, clanking away into the darkness.

The sixth human… A boy they had seem once and never since. A boy delivered to Lord Cherubimon… Why? Why did I care?

Metallic movement faded into echoes as I listened, then echoes faded into images. They rippled across the darkness, initially just the colored patterns one sees after staring into the shadows for too long, then growing, engulfing me.

_The stairs are twisted, unsupported, and never-ending. They float silently in the purple-green darkness, some linear and purposed, others disjointed and upside down, leading to and from the stone arches which hovered like ghosts in the gloom. Light comes from corners without a relative absence of black, or patches that haven't quite succumbed to inevitability. Illumination comes from the drifting rectangles of periwinkle data. They reach out to me with shadowed arms as we pass, moaning and grasping at my little form._

I gagged, lurching forward as if something had struck me in the stomach. Large insects ran down my arms and under my skin, pushing their way to my fingertips as cold rushed through my eyes. I shut them, feeling a body within mine but not my own recoil from the ice. The ache reached in through my nostrils, spreading through my head even as I buried my face into my chest.

_ "What are they," I ask the large, pale serpent which leads me through this labyrinth. One of his many tails flicks in annoyance, but the sleek head turns back to me nonetheless, amethyst eyes impenetrable. _

_ "They are what's left of those who were consumed by Lord Cherubimon's power. They came to him, but weren't strong enough. Their hearts were not black enough to sustain the Spirit of Darkness and were rejected."_

I fall to my knees noisily, barely restraining the anguished grunt in my throat.

"_Is that what will happen to me?" It's hard to care any more. Not at this point, not here. He grins a serpentine smile, then continues._

_ "No, Kouichi-sama. You are special; the Spirit calls for you. It will take no other, as these figments evidence." _

It wasn't me. These memories, if that was what they were, could not have been mine. They were foreign, alien, painful, like a boil erupting on my skin. Yet at the same time I knew they came from inside of me. From somewhere deep in the black, buried, hidden. From a part of me I wasn't supposed to know about. A parasite, an invader, or perhaps something older… Something not Duskmon.

_This world fades. There is nothing. Nothing but its eyes looking at me, calling me. I know I have no choice. I know this is it. Something holds me back, some reason to hesitate. But I can't remember now. The deed is done and I'm not him anymore. I have no name, no purpose, no meaning. He comes and gives me one. _

_**"**__**You are the Son of Darkness and you must destroy the light. This is a goal we share. You will serve me, and all your wishes shall be realized. Everything you desire shall be yours. I am Cherubimon, your savior. Your master.**__**"**_

_ I understand…_

_**"Prove it. Do you see that Digimon there, Nabikasumon? Do you remember him?"**_

_No._

"_**Good. Kill him. Bring me his data, then cover this world in Darkness. That is your one and only concern. That, Duskmon, is your destiny."**_

I wake up. But to who's life?


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I'd like to say something clever, but man is my brain shot. Also, my forearms are tired (I went rock climbing ^^) so I think I'll just point out that this has surely taken less than six months to get up, the fun stuff starts here, and I'm planning on having the other characters play a bigger role in Kouichi's recovery because I think it's more relevant. Enjoy the chapter, stay in school (or keep working, whatever it is you do), and never get behind on your biology notes. Chemistry's awesome! Peace.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still a starving college student. I'm claiming my brain, nothing else.**

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Sometimes there comes a moment in waking where reality bends. Usually it comes and goes, like a bird's shadow over a park. For an instant everything you thought you knew about the world falls to the sidelines and logic just fails to describe anything anymore. It could be something as simple as passing a tree and seeing a gnome sitting on a leaf. At first it seems perfectly natural, like in a dream. Then you remember that you're awake and walking past real trees in the real world. Your head jerks back, pupils dilate, and eyes focus on the offending leaf. There's nothing there of course, and you smile, role your eyes and keep going. Maybe you go over and investigate, touch the leaf and search the rest of the tree. Maybe you go back and walk past it again to see if this gnome only appears under certain conditions to certain people… if you're really bored and a little strange. Whatever you try, odds are that the gnome won't come back. You had a moment of fantasy and it passed. And it did so without hurting you.

I was disturbed by my moment of fantasy. It had slammed into me like the tide against a rock, knocking me over and hissing as it receded. I was left on my knees in my small form, breathing forcefully through my nose. My muscles were tensed and the stone floor felt cool and hard. It never felt cool or hard; it never felt like anything. Not before anyway. There was an annoying itch just above my left elbow and I scratched it absently, getting to my feet. This should not have been happening. There was nothing before Duskmon. Maybe there was a Spirit without life sitting on a shelf somewhere, if you could call that something. But no_ one_ came before Duskmon. I had no life before this, no existence nor memories of a world without Lord Cherubimon. Yet where there should have been a void a small figure sat, curled up but shapeless. I continued to scratch at the itch, moving down to my forearm. It's faint cries echoed through the black, muttering a name I'd known a moment ago and could no longer remember. Whispers from somewhere in the darkness down the hall drew my attention outward.

"Who's there," I said in a deceptively neutral tone. Truthfully the sounds concerned me and I felt anxious. I was still too disoriented to show a sufficient display of strength if I encountered anyone. "Show yourself." The whispers continued, mocking me from the shadows.

For a moment I hesitated, contemplating my options and their consequences. Alien curiosity and need tugged at the back of my mind and I followed them cautiously, my eyes shifting warily. Usually I had no issues with dark unknowns because usually I was the monster lurking in the night. But at the moment I felt strangely dull and vulnerable. I felt… fear. Airy laughter echoed towards me and I caught a shape in the gloom. "Our conversation is finished, Mercurymon," I spat, identifying the form. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, leaning casually against the wall ahead and to my left. "Why are you still here?" With the fiercest look I could muster, I looked right at him. My eyes met… nothing. I narrowed them, confused. His voice had come from that direction; I'd seem him there moments before, where had he gone?

_"Thou hast lied to me Duskmon,"_ he said lightly from my right. _"But I have found thee out." _I jerked my head towards his voice, agitation growing in the pit of my stomach, but once again he evaded me.

"What are you talking about?" I caught a glint of reflected light right in front of me and tried to track it with my eyes. There was nothing. His voice continued to whisper from the dark ahead. I perused it, moving deeper into the darkness.

_"Thou has't knowledge of what happened to the sixth human, Duskmon."_ Not this again, I thought with an inward sigh. I knew I was stronger, faster, and more powerful than Mercurymon could ever hope to be, and if the time came where I needed to put him in his place I would do so. Let him play his game; I would remain aloof. Present, but aloof. Even if I still couldn't find him.

"No," I said flatly, stopping defiantly before I'd tracked him down to show how much I didn't care. Yet even as I spoke and displayed my proud front, my heart was racing. Even in my most maimed state Mercurymon should not have been able to evade me like this. "I don't." Something like a wave of nauseous fog passed through me and I swayed on my feet, blinking to clear my head.

_There was the sound of children laughing and I squinted into the gloom, my eyes focusing on a small pinnacle of light. It grew and danced like fire for an instant and I thought I could see the five humans clustered about it, giggling. _I blinked, and the light was just Mercurymon's armor reflecting something. His back was turned to me in an uncharacteristically careless manner. Mercurymon may have been arrogant, but he wasn't a complete moron. He would not have invited an attack from me so blatantly_. _

_ "But you do. Somewhere in that black void within you, you do. Cherubimon was collecting dark hearts, hearts full of bitterness and despair. They flocked here from all over the Digital World, all seeking the one thing that could consume their pain and were consumed themselves." _The voice was Mercurymon's, but the words… That wasn't how Mercurymon spoke. I moved in closer, to confirm that it was, in fact, Mercurymon who had come to annoy me. He evaded me, winking further into the dark before my eyes could focus on his metallic form. I should have followed him, ended whatever twisted game he was trying to play with me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Anxiety was building in my stomach, hot and sticky against my ribs._ "You saw them, remember? The shadows."_

_ Something lunged out of the darkness out me, a distorted black, bodiless form. Its edges were all sharp points and its gaping mouth and eyes jagged holes in the black mass. A pane of periwinkle data glowed behind it, trying vainly to contain it as it pulled towards me. Claws stretched out of the shadow like a monster reaching out of a tar pit, straining towards my chest and within the silence I heard a cry of despair. I lurched back, summoning my blades and preparing to fight, but as suddenly as the phantom appeared, it was sucked back into the darkness. _My heart was pounding in my ears as I gripped the hilts, tense. They broke apart in my hands as if they'd been made of sandstone and I watched my swords crumble into dust, leaving me defenseless. I pulled my fists into my abdomen, shifting my eyes from side to side in anticipation of the attack that was sure to come. Mercurymon's voice continued, disembodied, from behind me. I didn't turn to look, but stared straight ahead, almost resigned.

"_Only one could merge with it. Only one could satisfy its hunger. The sixth human was pulled in, though he tried to resist, and became a part of it." For a moment I saw the Warrior of Thunder appear at the edge of the darkness. I identified him by his blue and yellow jumpsuit because he was squatting with his back turned to me, talking to something in the shadows. "Or it became a part of him. Such a creature would still have a human heart beating at its core. Such a creature would have memories from the time before. Bonds to its kin, which persist in the darkness."_

_**"Come on, I'm not as dumb as I look,"**__ he said to the shadows. I came up behind him, partly to see who he was talking to and partly to test if he was really there. __**"You know, you really freaked out Zoe earlier when your eyes changed. You kinda freaked me out too, actually." **__I inhaled sharply through my nose. He didn't look at me; his gaze remained intently fixed on a figure in the gloom that wasn't there. "__**Wanna tell me what's up?"**_

_A voice echoed through the hallway in response, somehow muffled and strained, as if it were speaking through a thick wall. _

_**"J.P.-san, there are things in this world that are safer not to understand. Trust me, don't ask."**__ I looked around wildly from the voice, but near as I could tell, it was coming from the exact spot where I stood. That wasn't possible. _

_**"And you're one of them, huh?"**_

_**"Yes."**_

_**"Forgive me if I'm not satisfied with that answer."**_

_**"You have to be, J.P.-san, I don't want to hurt anyone." **_

_He stood up at this and turned around to face me. His eyes were completely black and empty, like a mask without a person. When he opened his mouth there was nothing inside._

"_**You failed! Look at yourself! You're a monster!"**_

_I brought my hands up, trying to put something between us and stepped back, but he was gone. My back hit something hard; Mercurymon was right behind me. A shiver shot through my body. I was completely and totally out of control. I didn't have any idea what was happening, or why. This was all wrong. Whatever these visions were, they couldn't have come from me. Whatever the voice I heard was, it wasn't Mercurymon. I scratched the itch, clawing at my own flesh in frustration. An unfamiliar knot held me to the spot, though I felt the urge to run, not to mention the insatiable itch in my left arm. It wouldn't stop. I had to make it stop. My composure was slipping, my heart racing. It had me cornered and was spewing nonsense I knew I was supposed to understand but didn't._

"_What are you talking about," I hissed, looking over my shoulder bravely to scrutinize to where his face should have been and holding my position a few meters behind him. "What is all this? Who are you? I don't understand!" He raised his hands and placed them on either side of his head. I tried to prepare for the inevitable attack, but I couldn't focus. The itch was driving me crazy. It wouldn't go away! I felt something catch on my clawed nails; something cold and rubbery came away to reveal something warm and soft underneath. Fear closed in my chest like my ribs were collapsing. It all came together as I slowly brought my clawed right hand to my face. He'd poisoned me. Whoever __**he**__ was, he'd poisoned me. All of this, the nervousness, the pain, the hallucinations, his own misplaced arrogance; it was all because he'd made sure I couldn't fight back. I jumped forward and spun around, readying myself for a hand-to-hand fight if it came to that. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins as my insides recoiled from the movement. My body felt like it was made of clay even as every fiber screamed for action. Any kind of action, just something to regain control of my own spinning reality. "What did you do to me," I asked coldly, trying to maintain at least the outward appearance of calm even as panic raged inside me. He'd sidestepped my defenses without my noticing until just now. I was vulnerable- weak, and he'd made me that way. Anger began to burn along the rim of my terror. _

_ "What's his name? Do you remember that? The boy you saw… why did he come here?" I gave his back a hard stare, my breath coming in shaky intervals through my nose as a barely contained shiver began in my hands. His voice had changed. It wasn't even pretending to be Mercurymon anymore. I tried to say something, to question or protest, but nothing came out. He gave his head a swift tug and it came off like a helmet, releasing a tumble of dark hair tied back into a ponytail. The helmet clattered as it hit the floor, rolling to a rest mirror up at my feet._

_ Instinctively I reached down to pick it up, then recoiled in revulsion. My left arm went ridged as I stared at it, horrified. It was my arm, it had to be, yet I didn't recognize it at all. Shreds of dark scales hung off the limb like pieces of cloth from a torn sleeve, adhering to something soft and pink underneath. It felt cold and damp, like it had been kept inside a latex shell for too long. I held it away from my body, looking wildly around for Mercurymon. What had he done? My eyes fell on the mirror of his helmet, on the boy trapped inside. Kouji's face stared back from where mine should have reflected, deep blue eyes wrathful, jaw set in disgust. But he didn't have his bandana and his hair was too short. He looked at me like I was a parasite. Like I was the unwelcome invader into reality. I was in a nightmare; the whole world had shattered around me and I had been left to wander through the incomplete fragments. This wasn't real, it couldn't be, but I felt fear nonetheless. It ate at me, consumed me, until I felt myself cornered into action like a trapped animal. I lurched back and spun around, intent on escaping, the predator suddenly turned prey. __**He**__ was there. Kouji stood right behind me, giving me the same disapproving expression, long hair held out of his face by a ponytail and bandana now._

_ He looked straight into my blue eyes, held out his arms to both sides, fingers spread, and shouted "What do you want from me!"_

_ I didn't know what else to do. Like a child, I pressed my hands over my ears and shut my eyes, willing the nightmare away._

* * *

After a moment my breathing slowed down enough for me to hear that I was alone. My heartbeat quieted in my ears as I slowly dropped my hands, keeping my eyes firmly shut. It wasn't real. It hadn't been real. There wasn't a sound. Nothing moved. Calm had settled on the room once more like a fine dust and I opened my eyes. No Mercurymon, no helmet, no Kouji. I inspected my taloned left hand, flexing the fingers. Fine, all fine. All normal. The only trouble was… I wasn't sure what normal was anymore. Had I been asleep? Was that a dream? I couldn't remember falling asleep, nor did I ever remember having a dream before. Not an actual, legitimate dream, any way. And I'm not so sure I slept either. Nevertheless I knew of sleep and I knew of dreams and that seemed to be the best explanation. It was either that, Kouji had actually came disguised as Mercurymon and yelled at me, or I was loosing my mind. Here, in my stronghold, I was going crazy. I chose to believe it was just a very unsettling dream. A dream I could escape; one I could forget.

Now that I was awake the whole thing seemed ridiculous. That I would have felt intimidated by Mercurymon, let alone the Kouji boy or any of those other phantoms, and have been fooled by them at all- it was preposterous. The oddities were not what the dream contained, but that I'd had one at all. I should not allow myself to be disturbed by such nonsense. Yet I couldn't forget it either. Images of torn skin and falsely reflected faces hung in my mind, even as I tried to shake them off. The Kouji boy… This was his fault. Somehow he had done something to me, contaminated me. Attached himself to me. There was only one thing I knew for certain; I had to find out what our connection was and end it. That was what this thing inside me was and that was why everything seemed so wrong. Once our link had been severed, I could be Duskmon again. Warrior of Darkness, Destroyer of Light. I could fulfill my purpose and find contentment once again. Out in the dark, just before the forest began from the wasteland, I sensed Sakkakumon rise. Mercurymon's offer rung in my head, still fresh. I would take him up on it and end this game once and for all.

* * *

No matter how many times I watched them the blatant idiocy of the humans never ceased to astonish me. It was as if they were completely and totally oblivious to their surroundings about 90% of the time. The other 10% they spent gawking or fighting. Sakkakumon is hardly a discrete or stealthy entity; he's an enormous, green, glowing complex of spheres and eyes crowned by a voluptuous, smirking mouth. How it was they could simply mosey on by him joking and laughing then be surprised when they were sucked in by the dark wind continues to baffle me. But that's exactly how it happened. One minute the humans were marching enthusiastically along a cliff face and the next the rock was splintering and with a chorus of screams they were pulled into Sakkakumon's central sphere. There was some ominous laughter and crumbling stone and I was left with an overall sense of anticlimax.

I leapt down gently from the top stone, landing just in front of where they'd been walking. The ground was split in two, leaving a deep ravine with a jagged, upward thrusting mouth of black rock. I balanced on this lip with ease, debating my next move. On the one hand, I wanted Kouji for myself. I felt a sort of malicious giddiness at the thought of finally catching up to him that I could neither pin down nor deny. But on the other, if I left now either Mercurymon would get rid of all the humans and claim their Spirits or the humans would best Mercurymon and claim his. Either way my enemies thinned. The only real danger was in facing Kouji and having another episode. Not only would I expose my weakness, but in that state there was a real possibility of him striking a lucky blow. It was indeed a rather annoying pickle.

"Look, it's Duskmon!"

"Shut up, you fool! Do you want to get us turned into Digi-eggs?"

The bickering drew my attention to the two small Digimon to my right. One looked like a yellow rabbit on its hind legs wearing red pants and the other was on odd little white thing with a fin on its head and a pink waistband. He'd tucked a Digi-egg about as large as his torso inside this band and had the most peculiar black eyes. They were bright and inquisitive and fearful. I… remembered those eyes.

"Oh, um, hello there," said the white one in response to my gaze. "I'm Bokomon and this is Neemon and we're quite harmless. Please don't kill us." I didn't respond for a long time. The little Digimon fidgeted nervously as I watched, my eyes never leaving Bokomon's black orbs.

"Wow, Bokomon, it worked! I'm gonna use 'please' for everything now!"

"Don't be daft, can't you see he's still making up his mind? Maybe if we just sit still and stay quiet he'll decide we're not worth the effort." Neemon nodded and hunkered down as if behind a barricade. Bokomon was following suit when I decided to speak.

"Bokomon, is it," I asked coldly. I neither expected nor received a reply, just a terrified glance. For a moment longer I watched him, feeling some kind of pressure build up in my chest, words I couldn't understand or control. Words I didn't want to control. "Tell me," I continued, driven by nothing more than an odd impulse. I was a character in a play and his eyes were my cue. There was something I was supposed to say. Something I was here to do. Find Kouji. Catalyzed by this sheer feeling of rightness, the words spilled out in a voice almost not my own. "Have you kept my secret?" His eyes widened, but I didn't wait for his reply. I shifted into my larger form and launched myself into Sakkakumon's central orb, feeling both perplexed at my own words and satisfied for having said them.

There was a bright flashing of green and white light and the next thing I knew I was standing in a fleshy corridor. The walls, floor, and ceiling were a spongy red held together in a box by porous, yellow strips that ran along the edges.

"Ah, Duskmon, so thou hast chosen to partake in my little carnival." This time as my gaze was greeted by Mercurymon's arrogant grin as I turned to locate the voice. He was standing, easy as you please, a little further down the corridor. "Ranamon is somewhere about as well, and the main entrée will soon disperse. Indeed, I expect it shall be most… fun."

"Well isn't that convenient for you," I retorted coldly, my voice returning to its low, ominous tenor. The character was gone; I was just Duskmon again. "What's your plan this time? Wait for everyone to kill each other off then steal from whoever's left?"

"Thou art both perceptive and wise, Lord Duskmon," he said patronizingly with a mock bow. "For now that thou art in, thou must fight thine way out, and I have set a great many traps to thwart that goal. Unless, perhaps, thou wishest to share thine mission with me, so that I might also find favor in out master's eye." A small, jelly hand reached up from the ground and reached for my ankle, but I kicked it away.

"Do not play your games with me Mercurymon," I hissed. "I will go where I please when I please and if you try to stop me I will present your Spirits to Lord Cherubimon myself." This was Mercurymon, scheming, backstabbing, and completely predictable. He was not the entity from my dream. He was an adversary I knew how to face.

"Ar't thou so pig headed thou thinkest thinself strong enough to defeat me in my Beast form? Without thine own?" The features on his reflected face twisted up into the most unattractive scowl as he hunched over, preparing for an attack. I intentionally looked away and examined a wall to my right.

"Yes." He let out a sound that seemed to hybridize a growl and a snort and forced a very sick smile.

"We shall see at the end of the day. Regardless I do not need words nor violence to keep thee here, merely a hostage."

"Where is he," I demanded, looking back at the Warrior of Steel intently. His smirk widened and he extended his left arm so that it was horizontal to the ground, gesturing grandiosely to a point on the wall. A giant eyeball with a crimson iris shimmered into existence, staring at the two of us emotionlessly.

"These are the passages between the orbs," he explained defiantly. "I grant thee the ability to open them as it strikes thine fancy. Hunt down thine prey; consider it a favor. Then we can discuss your mission." Without taking a step he receded into the shadows of the passageway, leaving me alone. I watched the darkness for a moment to be sure, then shifted to my smaller form and turned my attention to the giant eye in the wall.

I regarded it suspiciously. Despite my façade of certainty, I knew very little about how Sakkakumon worked or what to expect. The eye seemed innocent enough, but I knew better. This was Mercurymon's playhouse and, though I could scare him into submission, in the end he held all the cards and I accomplished my goal by his grace. He knew that as well as I and was hoping to profit from it. I debated my choices carefully, caught between my usual tactics of trickery and evasion followed by raw power and this new urgency. It kept tugging at me like a small child in need of my attention and, regardless of how many times I forced it away it always came back. In the end the inexplicable impulse I'd been experiencing since my first incident with Kouji won out over my caution and apathy. I had to find him, whatever the risk, whatever the cost. It was an urge older and stronger than anything I could remember and I obeyed reluctantly. I moved past the barrier, emerging on the edge of an unnatural canyon.

At first, I felt shaken by the transition. The sky was wide and vast and not a sky at all, but a dome of black, orange, and yellow. There were tall, thin columns of rock scattered and mismatched, more like vertical, mismatched stacks than columns. The air felt dry and cool, and tense. As if it wanted to move and sing through the rocks, but was restrained. Far below me, a cloud of dust and debris was settling and as I watched, the humans clustered around a small form at the center. The Warrior of Thunder had fought a battle. Judging from the lack of any other Digimon in the area, I assumed he'd won. I moved in closer, hopping across the stone as they called out his name and general expressions of concern.

"Hey, you really are my friends," said the fallen warrior in an almost daze, pushing himself up as I settled on a nearby up-thrust of stone. He had a happily stunned glint in his eyes as he looked around, smiling stupidly.

"Of course we are, you bonehead," said the Warrior of Flame enthusiastically, kneeling next to him. I scowled at them. Takuya. J.P..

"Yeah, but don't tell anybody, all right," said Kouji in mock vanity. He had an almost proud grin on his face, as if his friend's performance had been pleasing to him. I scowled at that too, feeling another strangely familiar something flavor my mouth.

"I was worried about you J.P.," chimed in the little Warrior of Ice, Tommy.

"I'm just happy you're all right." The blond girl- Warrior of Wind- Zoe- her voice trembled a little as she spoke, as if it had been holding in a great anxiety and was tired.

"You mean that?"

"Sure," she sounded almost offended that he would doubt her honesty. The Warrior of Thunder grinned wider, splitting a small scab on his cheek. A nick from this fight or a previous on along his cheekbone. The Warrior of Wind reached into the pocket of her purple skirt and pulled something out, reaching towards the cut with it. He brushed her off, whipping the small bubble of blood away on the back of his hand, and I caught a glimpse of the object. It was a little, white handkerchief with red-brown, blotchy stains. They were darker along the rims and pale near the center, as if she'd tried to wash them out. But bloodstains are almost impossible to remove once they've set, especially when all you have is stream water. I watched the cloth, transfixed, as she replaced it in her pocket.

"I'm sorry," said the Warrior of Thunder suddenly, his face falling as if he'd remembered something unpleasant. "I doubted our friendship. It was terrible! I felt like nobody cared about me!" His face scrunched up and his voice cracked as if he were confessing some kind of terrible sin. Or a nightmare…

"Of course we care about you." Her words were like an arrow through my head. Jealousy flared inside me and I let out an audible grunt pain, reaching up with my avian hand to grasp my forehead.

_"Embrace the darkness within you and abandon these idiots."_

_"These idiots are my friends," I whispered._

_"Your friends? Look at them, Kouichi-sama. See how they look out for each other? They don't care about you, they don't even notice you. Just like Kouji."_

Then it was gone. I was Duskmon again. Unfortunately, being Duskmon no longer included being seen only when I wished. The humans may have been stupid, but apparently they weren't deaf. While I'd been hallucinating they had set themselves for the imminent battle. They were all staring up at me, tensed, hands gripping those little devices they used to Spirit Evolve. But I didn't want a battle, not now any way.

"Duskmon, I should have known you'd be in on this," called the Warrior of Light icily.

"What were you gonna do? Ambush us while our defenses were down," yelled the Warrior of Wind, smirking up at me. "Sorry, but you've got a lot to learn. That may have worked once, but never again." I stood up fluidly, tucking my chin and giving them all a dangerous look. What great feat had they concurred since our last meeting that had made them so confident?

"Duskmon, you picked the wrong time to go looking for a fight," added the Warrior of Thunder, stabilizing his stance and clutching his D-Tector. "These people are the best friends I've ever had. They're like my family! And I will _not_ let you hurt them!"

"What a touching display," I said sardonically, leaping down from my perch and landing lightly a few meters away from them. "Yet I've seen more easily kept promises fall into ruin." The words came out with a pointed and bitter edge I hadn't expected, seeping from the unfounded sense of betrayal I felt at their little friendship validation party. It was juvenile, and really quite laughable, but I felt excluded, like I was supposed to have some part of their group and was denied. "Can you keep it, I wonder." I summoned my crimson swords and readied myself to attack, my stare fixed on the Warrior of Thunder. But as they raised their D-Tectors to Spirit Evolve I faltered, lowering my blades. This felt wrong. That may seem like a poor justification for calling off a perfectly rational conflict between enemies, but darkness is emotion. It's what you don't understand or can't rationalize but believe anyway. And darkness was all I knew, it was my only way to make decisions on my own.

"Hey, what gives? What are you waiting for?" I wasn't there for them. These other humans, they may have been part of the problem, but they weren't its root. My wandering gaze found its target.

"Fortunately," I said carelessly. "I'm not here to fight… all of you." My eyes locked with Kouji's, carmine against navy, and he smiled mirthlessly. He knew. He felt it too. The call of Destiny. "Warrior of Light, you have something I want." Even as I said it I felt a distantly familiar ache return to my chest and a bubble of satisfaction rise in my stomach. It was as if I'd been waiting a long time to tell him that… As If I'd been waiting for longer than I could remember. There were other things, words that were hissing up my throat like methane in a swamp, but I pushed them back. Slowly, almost mechanically, I raised one blade. They all tensed but I merely held it out in offering, giving Kouji a meaningful look. Whatever I was told, it wasn't the Spirit of Light that caused me pain; it was him. He was the one with all the answers, the one I had to fight.

"A kendo match?"

"Something like that. No Spirits. No interventions. Just you… and me."

Stillness settled over us, as if time had slowed and the rest of the world had fallen away. A void had unfolded between our small forms like a lotus flower, echoing with dissonance. Beneath my cold exterior my heart was pounding. So, this is what I'd come here to do. This was the impulse that had driven me to such agitation. I wanted- needed to confront him. An age-old quest finally beginning to come to fruition. But why?

For a moment there was silent confusion, then the protests began.

"Wait, what?"

"He's really serious, isn't he?"

"Kouji, you're not honestly considering this!" He nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving mine.

"You've gotta be kidding! You think we're just gonna sit here and watch you-"

"It's all right Takuya." Utter shock didn't even begin to describe the look on their faces as Kouji said that, stepping forward to face me. I tossed him one of my blades and he caught it with ease, holding it out to one side passively. "I might be a weaker Digimon, but I'm definitely a stronger swordsman."

"We'll see about that," I snorted, holding my hilt with both hands close to my chest to that the blade ran vertically past my ear.

"All right, Duskmon, I'll play your game, but you have to promise to let my friends go, whatever happens."

"I would promise you nothing," I said coldly. "But you may take solace in the fact that I have no interest in them. Just you, Warrior of Light. I want to see your face when I strike you down. I want to watch that horrible light fade from your eyes." With that, I lunged at him, curved blade slicing through the dust.

"Get back," he yelled, hunching his shoulders and thrusting his hips back as if to make a C with his body. The tip of my sword almost grazed the cloth over his stomach.

"Kouji, stop it! This is crazy!" He spun to my right, rolling on his toes to regain his balance and swung his sword upwards as if to cut from my thigh to my shoulder. I lurched backwards, skidding on the pebbles and knocking the tip away. Kouji pulled back into his stance, then swung the blade upwards so it was vertical and waited. As a Digimon all I usually had to do was wait and let my opponent run onto my sword. But this was different; Kouji's human body was trained for this and he would wait me out.

"Can I ask you a question," he said calmly as if no one had said anything, never breaking eye contact.

"This is ridiculous! Takuya, do something!"

"Umm, Kouji, just wanted to remind you that those things are sharp," called Takuya. He was ignored.

"Yeah, that definitely had an effect."

"You guys are useless! Execute-"

"Zoe, stop it! This is my fight; I'll win it in my own way without any help."

"You may wish to recount that soon," I interjected tersely. "I have no intention of allowing that." I lunged forward once again, sword extended like a spear, then at the last second dropped to a squat and sent one leg out, sweeping it into Kouji's ankles. He fell backwards, arms shooting out to both sides to cushion his fall. His sword clattered as it hit the ground, but I took no notice. I leapt on top of the boy, pinning his arms to the ground with my knees and holding the tip of my blade to his throat. His defiant gaze rammed into mine while his body could not, and I hesitated.

He seized the opportunity, pulling one leg up and twisting his hips so it lay across my torso, his foot hooked behind my neck. Then, with a powerful push he shoved me off into an almost undignified heap by his side. I pulled myself into a tight ball, rolling to my feet and holding my sword out horizontally, eyes burning. Kouji did a kip-up, a rather blatant sign of aggression, and then a backhand spring, grabbing his hilt as he went. Show off. He moved back in closer, sword held carefully between us.

"I still need to ask you something. Why didn't you kill me before?"

I balled my right hand and held it up, pressing the armored outer arm against the sharp side of his blade. "You've done something to me," I accused in a low voice. "I need to know what. I need to know what our connection is." I felt some of the force go out of his sword as he looked at me quizzically.

"Kouji, he's just toying with you! If you don't want us to Spirit Evolve, we won't, but don't ask us to watch you be a moron and let your guard down!"

"Silence, humans." I pointed the tip of my sword at them and a wave of dark energy flew from it, pushing them back a few meters like a powerful wind. His face hardened with that and I felt pressure against my arm.

"Nice trick, but I haven't done anything to you," he said coldly. "We have no connection." The denial burnt like he'd thrown acid in my face and I let out a feral snarl, knocking his blade away and thrusting with my own sword towards his ribcage. He sidestepped my, delivering a downward cut to my avian left arm. I watched it graze the flesh just below my shoulder, but felt no pain. I spun, striking out with my leg, but he jumped back, landing just slightly off balance. I took the chance to land a hit, but he brought his sword up to meet mine at the last second. Our blades locked, our faces mere centimeters apart.

"If that's true," I breathed, feeling a rage more powerful than anything I had experienced cloud my mind. "And you cannot undue whatever it is you've done, then there's no reason for me to keep you around. Should I end it here and now? Where all your _friends_ can see?" He snarled and twisted, shoving his elbow into my sternum and sending me back. I gasped for breath as air fled my lungs, dropping my sword. There was much cheering from the sidelines and Kouji smirked.

"Well this is disappointing, I was expecting more of a fight. The last time we met you could have taken down our Human Spirits in this form, and now look at you. You're getting sloppy Duskmon."

"Underestimating me will be your final mistake, human. If all is as you say, then Lord Cherubimon was right. I have finished with you; now I will end you."

"I think you overestimate yourself. You're bleeding."

"That's not possible." Even as I spoke I became aware of something wet running down my arm. It started where Kouji had grazed me and was snaking its way to the back of my hand, flowing between the scales of my left arm. Slowly, nervously, I looked down, staring at the flesh in disbelief. A single drop of something thick and bright red clung to the tip of my middle talon. For a moment it just hung there, almost glowing in the desert light, defiant and innocent at the same time. I exhaled slowly as time froze.

"Hey Takuya," said the little one, the Warrior of Ice. "I know we get bumps and cuts but I've never seen a Digimon bleed. Are they supposed to?"

"I don't know, man," the Warrior of Fire answered. "But judging from his expression, I'd say that's a no. Well, not that he really has expressions, but you know what I mean." I felt everyone watch as the little drop of red fell, felt everyone stare as it spattered on the ground.

"Look at his eyes! The black's going away." I heard the voices as if from far away. The red in the dust was spreading, engulfing my vision as the figure in the back of my mind stood up, turning slowly. The fear from my dream returned, but was swallowed by something even more powerful: rage.

"No," I yelled, my eyes snapping to Kouji, my talons pointing in accusation. My curved blades disappeared into black vapor and he took a single step back, looking like I must be talking to someone just behind him. "This is all your fault! You did this to me! You started this disease and left it to spread, you coward!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he retorted, but it was too late. In an instant I was before him, my avian hand gripping the front of his shirt, my eyes burning like I was crying salt. I could see myself reflected in his eyes, see what used to be the black region around my irises glint white. Human eyes.

"You don't get to just wash your hands of this," I whispered through clenched teeth. My grip tightened in his shirt and I lifted him up, holding him a meter or so above the ground with one arm. "If you won't tell me what our connection is, then I will go in and take it from you!" Darkness spilled from the scaled flesh and enveloped him like a dense cloud of black. His friends rushed forward to help, but as before I pushed them back with a dark wind. It blew continuously around us like a vortex, a protective barrier against interference.

"Kouji! Kouji," they called, but to no avail. He screamed as I tore into his mind.


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This guy gave me a lot of trouble, but I think I've managed to untie things quite nicely. -Ish. It all takes place within maybe thirty seconds of "real" time and maybe 5 minutes of screen time, but what happens is important. Also, the next part has been playing in my head since Fate and I wanted to give it its own spotlight. So we are left with a mid sized, intentionally disjointed chapter focusing on Kouji's perspective and the effects of his memories. Good? Bad? Weird as hell? Readers decide. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Well… I don't own Digimon, but there are some excerpts from Fate that are my work.**

* * *

_A small bell tinkled as I walked into the flower shop, announcing my presence to the world. Declaring that I, Minamoto Kouji, was going to buy flowers. The ice king of the universe has arrived! He has entered the building; keep your feelings close and your small children closer… or he'll run right over them both. The apocalypse has materialized; the world is coming to an end. For, yes indeed folks, the coldest of the heartless, the most uncaring of the pre-teens, and maybe the biggest jerk to walk the planet has recognized the error of his ways and aims to reconcile. He has come to this flower shop to admit his wrongdoings and make amends! I winced a little inside, momentarily considering just turning around right then and forgetting the whole thing. This was so embarrassing. _

_Truthfully, I didn't actually want to be there at all. The occasion was not one worth celebrating and the recipient wasn't exactly on my top ten favorite people list. It wasn't like she really deserved them anyway. But not, that wasn't fair. It wasn't her fault things worked out the way they did. She didn't wake up one day and decide she wanted to go upset an already dysfunctional household and embitter an already brittle relationship. She'd just fallen in love and married a guy, a guy who'd happened be widowed. A guy who happened to be my father. It hadn't been her idea to try and replace my mother and she'd never pushed it. Though I could tell that she wanted me to, she'd never once asked me to call her mom. Satomi's fine._

"_Hi, looking for a present for someone?"_

"_Uh…" I recoiled a little from the sphere of pure optimism that accosted me, giving her what could best be described as a startled look._

"_It's for your mother right?"_

"_Kind of…"_

_What was I supposed to say to the overenthusiastic mistress of all things pretty and happy? 'No, these are most certainly not for my mother. She's dead; these are for an imposter. I'm just trying to be mature and not hold that against her. I'm making amends. With flowers.' Yeah, no. The woman sensed my skepticism and decided to explain herself._

"_I'm not a witch or anything, I just like to guess that stuff." Not really what I was worried about, but I sort of jiggled my head anyway. She took this as an approval. "Do you want some help?"_

"_Uh, yeah."_

"_Oh, I love my job! All right, lets find something really pretty!" And like a humming bird she just took off around the store with me meekly in tow. Not being a particularly flora oriented guy, I just asked her what she thought about each bouquets she showed me and tried to remain as aloof as possible. If I could have shot myself in the foot as an apology for being nasty to Satomi, I would have; but women seem to (in my limited experience) respond better to sensitivity. So I was going to be sensitive and buy her the freaking flowers, regardless of how much manliness it cost me. Damn it. Finally we- well, the shopkeeper, put together something she felt was suitable for a mother and the inquisition began again. "Let me guess, birthday- no, anniversary!"_

_The accuracy of her guess caught me off guard and an affirmation slipped out before I'd thought up a way to sound unimpressed. "Their anniversary's today. How'd you know that?"_

"_I don't know, it's my own little game. So what, about ten or fifteen years?"_

"_Actually, it's three years…"_

"_Three years, how wonderful for them. Wait a minute, you must be at least twelve!" Figured that out, did you? Good job. "Why have your parents only been married for three years, huh?"_

"_Um… well…"I was saved from what was undoubtedly going to be a very touchy-feely conversation with a complete stranger by the beeping of my phone. I looked down to check the message. A game to determine my destiny… My breath froze. My pupils dilated. My muscles pulled me into action. With little more than a reassurance that I'd return for the flowers I bolted from the shop._

_It was stupid, absurd even, and normally I wasn't the type to go for absurdity. But at the same time it was real. From the instant I'd pressed 'Yes' this feeling of satisfaction had bubbled in my stomach, displacing all the fear and anxiety surrounding my father's anniversary. It felt like I'd done something I'd been meaning to do for forever… and like I'd begun some task I needed to complete before I was ready to face the world. Perhaps the most important thing was that it gave me an excuse to run away from my real problem: accepting Satomi. As I ran I felt my shadow trail behind me. _

His screams, not to mention the yells of all his teammates as they battled against my black wind in a vain attempt to free their comrade, made it difficult to concentrate. I felt his pain more acutely now, or more accurately, he inflicted it upon me. Every instant in his mind was like a slow, burning compression I knew I could escape, but refused to do so. It was too soon. I knew why **he** felt, but not why I did. I had to go deeper. I had to find our link.

_I was sitting at my desk- well, slumping may be a more accurate descriptor, not doing my homework or being productive in any way. It was a week from my father's anniversary, and thus a week from all the festivities and antics and fake smiles and embraces that would go with it. A week from this day marks the third year of my father's new marriage… and for me the third year since my mother's true death. Before I'd known it in a rational sense that she was gone, like you understand the meaning of a word by looking it up in a dictionary. But emotionally I'd continued to expect her to come home. As long as Dad was waiting, she'd come home. When Dad stopped waiting, the reality that she was truly and eternally gone had finally hit me. Mom wouldn't come- couldn't come back; she had been replaced. And in one week I would be expected to celebrate it. So naturally I wasn't really in the mood to do much besides sulk. _

_Absently I gazed at the 'family picture' on my desk, almost grinning at how utterly depressed I looked. In sharp contrast, Satomi and Dad both had broad grins stapled to their faces… well, in comparison to my dejected, ground-directed stare they appeared broad. The whole thing was really obviously fake, as if someone had photo-shopped the three of us together and then carelessly stuck us in front of a tree. That was my life, a patchwork of lies and appearances quilted together into some sort of Stepford happy-family._

_I reached out a single finger and gave the top of the frame a gentle push. It rotated backwards, revealing a very different image on the back. It was my mother, my real mother. She stared back at me from the frame with a natural warmth and tenderness that could never be synthesized or replaced, her dark hair pulled back into a low pony-tail, her blue eyes meeting mine knowingly. I had her hair and eyes, but her milky skin, her ovular face, her gentleness and quiet, everything else had been stolen away from me. She was so beautiful, so fragile and yet so strong. I missed her._

"_Your mom's photo… I haven't seen that in a longtime." I started and spun around in my chair. My dad was at the door, had been for a long time now, watching me from that distance he always kept. I sobered up very quickly at the sight of him, straightening and composing my features into a mask of annoyed apathy. "Son I know it's been hard since your mom died, but you need to accept your stepmom." Wrath flared in my gut and hissed through my teeth._

"_But she's not my mom! She'll never be!" My mother was dead. _

_**A woman with dark hair sits at the table, her back turned to the light. Even as it creeps through the door lovingly she stands up, moving into the small alcove of a kitchen. All the while she keeps her back turned. Her hair is pulled back into a low pony-tail so one could easily see the bandages on her back clawing defiantly up onto her bare neck. Her voice is sweet and controlled, perfect, but the light won't let her keep her secret. Even as she retreats to the shadows the orange beams of the setting sun glisten on her face. Tears streak her milky cheeks and her blue eyes are still wet and red. She tries to hide it, tries to remain strong and stable, but she's breaking.**_

"_I don't need a mother anymore."_

"_Well, can you at least try to be nice to her for my sake?" Satomi's head poked into view as she came up the stairs, probably to see if I wanted anything special for dinner. She did that on days when I barely set foot outside of my room save to go to school, eat, or excrete. She gave a small, gentle whimper at his words, holding her hand to her chest as if something inside had been injured. For the briefest instant her hurt brown eyes met my cold blue ones, then she turned and left. My father followed my gaze, then turned back to me. His stare was defining. I'd crossed a line… and pulled him with me. And in that moment, I realized I wasn't the only one who'd been having a hard time with this whole Frankenstein family situation. She was in just as much pain as I was._

_**She's hurting. Dying. Like a flower in the closet, wilting in the black cold, and all I can do is watch. She tries to hide it, but I'm not as blind as she thinks. I have to make it stop. I have to find them- him. I have to make us a family again.**_

His memories were flooding into me now, unbidden and unchecked. I couldn't pull back, couldn't get out, no matter how hard I tried. I recoiled from the intensity of his emotion and struggled against the tide, sinking into his mind as into black quicksand. Yet even as I reeled I became aware of… another. Inside him… or me. Memories that were neither Kouji's nor Duskmon's. The sounds of Kouji's screams and the billowing of the dark wind raged in my ears, overwhelming. I couldn't pull back. I'd lost control.

"_That stupid ice cream cake! No doubt," Takuya exclaimed, throwing himself back onto his makeshift leaf bed, hands clasped behind his neck for support. He had this big stupid grin plastered onto his face, like he was imagining the cake and it tasted heavenly. I rolled my eyes and snorted condescendingly. Maybe it was a better for everyone if all the humans in the Digital World did band together to form a merry pack of good-doers. But that in now way meant I had to like it. "I was right there too! Just a few hours away from that cold, sweet deliciousness!"_

"_Must be torture," I prodded sarcastically._

"_Hey, laugh all you want! At least I'm being honest about what I miss most, unlike some people." He sent a rather pointed look in J.P.'s general direction._

_**I hadn't expected to see him here. This time it had been unintentional. At first. I was already at the station when I saw him, hands shoved defiantly into his pockets, face passive and cold. He hadn't seen me. He never sees me. **_

"_Is it really so hard to believe that I miss science class?"_

"_Um, yeah."_

"_I like to know how things work," he said with a shrug, gazing into the fire_

"_And it's one of your more endearing qualities," added Zoe, directing the kindness in her voice to J.P. and the coolness in her glare towards Takuya._

_**I'm in the car next to him, just at the end. If he looked just a little to his left he'd see me, through the glass. He'd see me watching him. That's part of the excitement, the possibility that he'll feel my gaze and look. Just look. He'd see his reflection in another's body and wonder who I am for a change. It would be his turn to seek me out. I'd lead him home, to Mom.**_

"_I want to know what Kouji misses!"_

"_Nothing," I said curtly, not making eye contact. Tommy looked immediately put out, sending a small twinge of guilt through my gut. Guilt, but not regret. _

"_Come on, Kou, there's gotta be something!"_

"_Don't call me Kou," I snapped, giving J.P. a very tight look. He put his hands up defensively and I rolled my eyes, sighing. "If you knew anything about my life in the human world, you'd know there's nothing to be missed. Just a bunch of fake smiling and hoops to jump through."_

"_Kouji, don't be such a stick in the mud," chastised Zoe. "It's not like we're asking for your life's secrets, just a little something you miss about home. The rest of us shared something."_

_I rolled my head to give her a sideways look, intent on smothering her enthusiasm as I had Tommy's, but then reconsidered. There was something in her stern green eyes and well-meaning demeanor, something that just inspired trust and cooperation. I'd answer, just because she was asking. How annoying. With a resigned sigh, I looked at the tree in front of me, preparing for self-inflicted humiliation. _

_**But that won't happen. It can't. He's the person, I'm the shadow. I'll follow him forever and he'll never notice me. And I'll never be brave enough to step forward on my own. He'll never see me, no matter how long I trail in his wake. I know this; I'd always known it. It's a fact of life. **_

"_Back in the human world," I started reluctantly. "I used to get this feeling sometimes. Like I was being followed by someone I could never see or hear. I just knew he was there, watching me from somewhere close by. I miss that feeling."_

"_You miss being stalked?" I was too preoccupied trying to dissociate from the event of telling people anything even remotely private to give Takuya the appropriate glare. _

_**Yet I can't stop. No matter how certain I am, no matter how pointless it all seems, I have to keep going. There's something inside me, a tiny, resilient, little hope that I'm wrong. It quickens my pulse as I look at him and quiets my breath as I chase him. A light in the despair.**_

"_It wasn't stalking. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure I was being followed, but I was never worried or anything. It's more like… there's someone who wants to get to know me, but isn't sure how. Like there's someone out there who cares about me, without even knowing me."_

"_Must be nice," said Zoe absently. "To have someone who actually wants to get to know you. I mean, that's better than having to deal with a bunch of people who won't even give you a chance."_

"_Yeah. Yeah, it was nice." The feeling had come and gone so many times, and eventually I'd just stopped looking for its source. Whoever it was obviously didn't want to be seen; besides, it was enough to know they were there. Still, I just wish I knew who it was__._

_**A light to guide me back to myself.**_

* * *

"Get out of my head Duskmon!" He was yelling but I barely heard his demands. My grip on his shirt tightened and my elbow bent almost involuntarily, bringing his face closer to mine. The black storm calmed around us, but we remained connected. And memories continued to flow through the link. The dark form in the back of my mind had risen and seized control, his navy eyes glinting just behind mine. There were more screams, but they weren't Kouji's this time.

_**A weight lifted from my head as the Poyomon and my hat began to fall down into that darkness. Everything was happening in slow motion, yet faster than anything had ever happened in my life. I didn't think, I just reached out with both hands and caught the small Digimon. My hat continued to fall, unimpeded, into the darkness. Soon it was just a speck of blue, then it wasn't even that.**_

I closed my eyes, trying to resist the flood.

"_**My name's Minamoto Kouji. And you are," he trailed off, giving the boy a half look over his shoulder. "So, are you gonna tell me? I can't repay you if I don't know your name."**_

_** "I'm Kanbara Takuya," the boy said, rather reluctantly.**_

"_**Takuya, huh? See ya," Kouji said carelessly, giving Takuya a half wave over his shoulder and just walking off. After about ten paces, he stopped, reached down to pick something up off the ground, and looked at it. It took me a minute to realize that it was my own device he was holding, dropped by one of the head-like Digimon when he was throwing them around. If I hadn't been watching him, I wouldn't have noticed him slip it into his pocket and keep walking.**_

Somewhere close by, a low beeping started. I knew it was too quiet for anyone else to hear, but to me it sounded like a siren blaring loudly in my ears. Too loud.

_**There was a thin lock of hair hanging across his forehead, a single rebel against his dark blue and white bandana. Hesitantly, I reached up and brushed it from his face, tucking it affectionately behind his ear. He stirred at the contact; I bolted away towards the tree where an arch like opening almost like a door was waiting for me to hide in. From the shadows, I watched his head rise from its resting position against his chest, his arms unfolding. Kouji looked around, his eyes staring intently at his surroundings. His hands checked his hair and, finding the rouge lock, redid his bandana.**_

Kouji's hands reached up and grabbed my avian wrist. Heat ran up my left arm like an electric current and icy cold surged forward from behind my eyes to meet it.

"_**I just need more time."**_

"What… is this," I grunted.

_**The mist died ever so slightly, the formless face turning towards me, the eyes locking onto me, sensing me more than seeing me. Time froze. I gasped, falling to my knees as a strange, tingling sensation erupted just behind my eyes as the red ones pored into them, almost smirking as I tried to look away.**_

_**A girl's voice. Green eyes. Blond hair. Purple hat. "Are you all right?"**_

"_**Be careful, - . I don't know what it is you're involved it, and common sense tells me that it would be safer not to know."**_

"_**You're bleeding," she said softly…Zoe seized my hand, giving me the option to either fall on my face or kneel next to her as my weight began to fall unsupported, pulled out her handkerchief and began to clean the wound as best she could…**_

"_**Thank you, Zoe-san," I said quietly, staring at her work. It was quick and precise, efficient, yet gentile. It was all I could do, just sit and stare, useless. The darkness from my dream began to flood back, chilling my skin once more.**_

"_**You're welcome. You probably just cut yourself on the rock when you fell." She knotted the handkerchief about my palm and released me, smiling reassuringly.**_

"_**You don't have to wait for me," I said calmly, my voice betraying none of my unease or desire to warn her. She had been nothing but kind to me, I wished her no harm.**_

"_**I know, but you just seem so… so lonely."**_

_**A boy with short brown hair. Blue and yellow jumpsuit. Indignant. Angry. Noble. **__**"Everyone is important! You expect us to just leave you here? That's not what friends do."**_

It was all coming at me so fast, disjointed and blurry. And painful. Like someone had sawed open my chest and was dropping marbles between my ribs. I cradled my head with my right hand, letting out the lowest of moans. Kouji could see the visions, but he didn't feel their pain like I did. It was as if his memories had triggered something, an entity that had been sleeping within me since my creation. I felt my heart beat.

_**"Yes, this is the one he wants. The darkness within him is beyond anything you could imagine, beyond anything we have found in the Digital World thus far." **_

_**I tried to get away. I really did. I never wanted this. I never wanted to hurt you… Not like this.**_

_**"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." The voice shot through my mind, a high pitched warbling that numbed any part of me that tried to fight it. And then Nabikasumon was in front of me, his tails surrounding my body like an organic ring, blocking any exit. I skidded to a halt, glancing around, panicked, his eyes trapping me in an unblinking stare. He seemed to be smirking at me, his mouth opening wide and his head descended to hover just before my face, fangs glinting. A fine, black mist came out, hovering about me like a cloud of microscopic, silent gnats. My body went ridged, I couldn't move no matter how hard I tried, couldn't so much as look away from those massive amethyst eyes. Then it concentrated, diving into my eyes, almost as if there was something just behind them it had to get to. I gasped, throwing back my head and arching my back as everything began to darken. Then my body went limp and I felt something catch me before I hit the ground. From a long way away, I heard the voice again, cooing softly, the intangible words skimming across my fading consciousness. "Such a frail creature. Nevertheless, it is you. You can never escape, Son of Darkness; Cherubimon-sama had something special planned for you."**_

_**"What do you want," I whispered, staring straight into his eyes, my voice barely audible. **_

_**"You."**_

_**They found me first. They told me things. Things about you. I didn't want to believe it. I tried to fight back.**_

_**"Do you remember how it felt when you first saw your Spirit? Before you joined with it," I asked, looking straight ahead, unblinking.**_

_** "Yeah," he said slowly, his hand dropping. "I felt it calling to me, pulling me. It was irresistible, but then again, I didn't really want to fight it. It's still a little weird, but I can feel Agunimon inside of me now, guiding me."**_

_** "In that moment, would it have hurt to have pulled away and refused the Spirit?"**_

_** "I don't know, probably," he mumbled. "Never really thought about that either."**_

_**"That's how it is for me," I said, glancing back at him with dark eyes. "All the time."**_

_**The squat, cream Digimon. His black eyes are criticizing, but they're not looking at me. "An internal conflict can take on a very real form here. Things you only imagine or images that are only in your mind can take on a physical form."**_

_**It's inside me, Kouji. I can't fight it.**_

"_**Do you know what is happening to you? Your body is crying out for the Spirit. It is trying to merge with it on a level unprecedented in our history. What you feel is your fate pulling you to become what you were always meant to be. What only you can be. Do you understand that, Kouichi-sama? You are becoming something greater, something superior to all others, subordinate only to Lord Cherubimon. Does that frighten you?"**_

_**Save me.**_

"What are you?"

I opened my eyes and met Kouji's gaze. A grimace still contorted his features, but the link had inverted. Now he scrutinized me, questioning, uncertain. Our eyes met and there was no fear or anger in those navy orbs. He saw… something- something inside me.

Light burst from his pocket.

I snapped.

I released him but before he'd had a chance to hit the ground the black wind caught him. All the humans were flung back, away from me; knocked unconscious by the storm I'd tried so desperately to hold back. Now it raged free, tossing my hair as it pleased, pulling at the folds of my clothing, until my gaze settled on the girl. She was several meters away, her golden hair lashing her back. The edges of her vest and skirt flapped desperately, as if trying to fly her safely away. They would not succeed. Inside that skirt there was a pocket, and in that pocket sat something from the fragments. The bloody handkerchief. Kouji was only half the puzzle, I knew that now, and he didn't understand why I sought him. Those weren't all his memories. It wasn't his blood that stained the white cloth. The storm quieted as I made my decision. Red eyes opened beneath each human, swallowing them with a glittering purple glow before closing. Her blond hair disappeared into the orb and I followed before it had a chance to stop me. I had to know who the **other **was and why I had his memories. I needed to know why I remembered her.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Sort note this time as I must run to class in about 2 minutes. But I want to get this up, so here we go. I think it turned out well, differently from what I was expecting, but well all the same. I feel like there will be between 3 and 5 more chapters, including a little epilogue. So shorter than Fate, but there's just no way I can drag it out for another 7 chapters at this stage in the game. Not with each chapter having some substance anyway. That's all for now. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Not getting paid or claiming any copyrighted material as my own!**

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She really was quite lovely, the human girl, even prone on the ground as she was. Her cheek rested on the grass, one arm palm up along her side, and the other palm down by her head. Purple fabric lay flat over her back and legs, her purple hat still miraculously secure atop blond hair. Her breath came in deep, regular intervals, stirring golden locks that rested over pleasantly pink lips. A gentle breeze pushed at her hair and clothing, causing the bed of short grass she was resting on to lick her sides. Nothing suggested the storm through which she had arrived, nor the force by which she would have to leave. I regarded her coldly, tilting my chin first to the left, then to the right. There was something unmistakably familiar about her, something about the blond hair and pale skin, something about the closed eyes I knew were aqua green. Why…

Without betraying any of my inner curiosity or care, I pressed my foot against her side and rolled her over. She let out a gentle groan, but didn't stir further. For a moment longer I regarded her, wondering if it was the natural way she fit into the scenery that made me think we'd met before in some distant patch of daylight. Positioned between the thin, broad-leafed trees with their white bark and the blue lake with its still crystal waters, she might have been a local girl resting in the clearing. Now that she was on her back, she might even have been dozing in the sun. It just seemed so right for her to be in the light among trees and water… around flowers. There were no flowers in the clearing, but I felt there should be. Perhaps she had been planting the flowers when fatigue had overtaken her and she'd lain down to nap.

I shook off the ridiculous fantasy and bent over her, casting a long shadow over that serine face. My clawed right hand reached into her pockets and curled around the blood stained handkerchief. This was why I was here, to discover who'd been unfortunate enough to be bandaged with this little piece of white cloth and why I had their memories. Not to daydream or concoct half formed scenarios without purpose or a foundation in reality. Such frivolity was beneath me and I didn't know why I'd bothered with it before. Get the information and move on. The Warrior of Light still waited to be extinguished; I had to work past this aversion I had to killing him and get on with it. For good measure, I grabbed her D-tector as well. A fight would have been pointless. I just wanted to talk. The purple and green device felt awkward and hot in my hand and it was so difficult to remove from the folds of her pocket that it might have been clinging to the liner with little invisible hands. Curiously loyal to its master. As I was to mine…

"Wake up," I demanded, still crouched by her side. No response. I narrowed my eyes and reached out with my avian hand, placing it on her shoulder and giving her a rough shove. She shivered and recoiled as if struck by a cold wind. "Wake up now," I repeated. She stirred, her eyes fluttering open groggily as another groan escaped her lips. I stood up and backed away, keen on removing myself from her presence and the eerie déjà vu associated with it.

"Where… How…" I could tell her first impulse was to marvel at the beauty of Sakakumon's fake scenery, but then her hazy gaze fell on the black cloud that was me and became suddenly sharp. "Duskmon," she hissed, getting to her feet smoothly and intentionally. "What, you had enough fun torturing Kouji and now you want to move onto the rest of us? Well, you picked the wrong girl to mess with. I never took a martial art and I don't have any binding sense of etiquette to follow. _I'm_ not going to make it easy for you." Her lips twisted into a devious smirk as she thrust her hand into her pocket. The defiance crumpled abruptly into shock when her fingers found nothing but fabric.

"Looking for this," I asked coolly, holding up her purple box and shooting her a condescending look.

"Execute now!" At her call the device lit up and began to pull towards her, like a fairy tethered to my hand by a loose silk string. I tightened my grip and closed my eyes for an instant, willing the light from existence. A shadow began to emanate from my black, scaly flesh, seething like a serpent about the fringe of light. There was no battle, just a dark wave that crashed around the glow and swallowed it, sinking back into my hand. The girl looked surprised and… nervous.

"Did you really think it would be that easy? Did you honestly expect I would take this if I didn't know I could hold onto it?"

"It won't do you any good. As long as the Spirits are in my D-Tector they'll only respond to me and you can't get them out. There's no way for you to get them without fighting me, so why don't you just give it back and we'll get this over with." Feisty. I wanted to smile, but didn't know why.

"You may be right about that," I breathed icily, giving her a glare that could have frozen water. She glared right back, unyielding and, somehow, unafraid. Perhaps she thought her friends would come save her? Or maybe she was even arrogant enough to think she could face me alone. It didn't matter. "But I'm not after your Spirits so I really don't care."

"Don't bother trying to trick me, I know you work for Cherubimon. I know you're collecting data for him and I know he's ordered you to bring back the Spirits of the Ten Legendary Warriors. You're just like the rest of them," she added scathingly.

"No," I said quietly, lowering her D-Tector and fixing her with a cryptic stare. "No, I'm not like them. They act only for their own gain or pleasure, or out of fear of my Master's wrath. I act only when I must."

She snorted in disbelief, tossing her hair and crossing her arms. The effect was to make her appear relaxed and unconcerned, but I could sense the tension lingering in every flawlessly arranged muscle. At any given moment she was ready to bolt. She was ready to do whatever she needed to survive this encounter. I looked away pointedly, staring down the lakeshore and wondering why it had to be so bright here. It made me feel uncomfortable. Exposed…

"Do you want this back," I asked coldly, twitching my wrist and flashing the purple and green face of the device in her direction. She raised her eyebrows at me as if she were making a rude gesture. "I'll give it to you and leave. All you need to do is answer my questions."

"I'm _not _helping you hurt my friends."

"Whose blood is this?" I held out my left hand, the handkerchief draped intentionally over its talons. The girl shot it a disdainful look, as if my touch had irreparably sullied it.

"How should I know? I've never seen that before in my life."

"I took it out of your pocket. Whose blood is this," I repeated, slowly.

"I don't know," she answered in mock innocence. She was taunting me.

"Don't play coy with me, little girl," I snarled, moving towards her. She looked like she wanted to step back, but didn't. "I don't want to hurt you but I will if you force my hand. Now tell me whose blood this is!" I shook the stained handkerchief in her face.

"Or what," she spat back, holding her ground. "You're going to torture me? You'll probe my memories like you did Kouji's?"

"If that's what's necessary."

"Then get on with it! I will not willingly help you! I will not betray my friends and the Digital World because of selfish fear or bribery!" She spat at my feet. "You're going to have to beat it out of me."

I dropped the handkerchief and seized the front of her shirt, pulling her face close to mine. Her hands reached up to try and pry my avian fingers apart, but recoiled immediately from the cold of my skin. Black misty tendrils began to squirm in my fist, as if I were holding a group of large, opaque serpents to her chest. They wriggled and began to coil around her like a living wave, greedily butting at each other as they expanded. She let out a whimper, her first sign of fear, and screwed up her face as if expecting a blow. I focused all my will on breaking hers, on forcing my way into her mind and tearing the information I required from it. I had to know whose blood that was. I had to know who that other boy was. My own thoughts betrayed me, acting before I could access her memories.

"_**I know, but you just seem so… so lonely."**_

Her voice shot through me like a burning needle, a single point of white-hot pain between my eyes. I choked in agony and pushed her away, sending her to the ground with a gentle thud. My left hand reached up and cradled my brow, as if the icy flesh could sooth away the sting, but it didn't help. Nothing could. Nothing except…

The dark figure in the back of my mind was beating against my skull, fighting tooth and nail to be heard. There was something I was supposed to say, some verbal cue associated with this girl that needed to be voiced. Knowledge that would tear its way out of my head if I didn't recognize it. A memory that threatened to overwhelm me if I didn't acknowledge it. It was like grabbing an electric fence to pull the darkness back inside me, but I knew I had to. I couldn't do this to her, couldn't hurt her. Because she… she was…

"Zoe-" I gasped, still cradling my face. "Zoe, I-" And then it was gone. I was back in control… or had relinquished power over my own voice. I never really knew the difference. Almost as soon as the wave of pain halted its assault I regained my composure. My hand dropped back to my side, my back straightened, and my carmine eyes blinked away any remnants of the episode. I looked up at the girl, intent on picking up where I'd left off, only to find her staring at me.

She'd fallen back when I pushed her and remained on the ground, knees folded and resting horizontally in front of her, left arm outstretched, propping herself up. Her head was held high in the same display of proud defiance she'd maintained for the entire interchange, but her expression was different. Her eyes remained suspicious, yet somehow softer now, less accusing, and the mouth which hadn't had any problems spewing insults and provocations not a minute before was suddenly speechless. She was looking at me as if she'd never seen me before, or anything remotely like me for that matter. I looked back at her, narrowing my eyes in confusion. What had I said to cause such a drastic change in her demeanor? Why had she not taken advantage of my weakness and retaken her little purple device or fled? And why was the hurt in her eyes causing me to have such an… emotional reaction?

"Fine," I said coldly, as if the searing pain moments ago had been some sort of attack she was responsible for. "We'll do it your way." I tossed her D-Tector at her feet, which wasn't that difficult as we were still a mere meter apart. "Take it." She didn't react or break her perplexing stare except to blink. "Take it." Still nothing. "Suit yourself." I reached down to reclaim her little device, but she placed her other hand over it and pulled it closer to her body, her eyes never leaving my face. She stuffed it into her most available pocket, then reached forward to grab the handkerchief. Her fingers curled delicately in its folds, not too tightly, but secure enough to keep it from fluttering back to the ground as she stood up.

"His name was Kouichi," she said slowly. "We met up with him first in Breezy Village, then again at the Wind Factory. But why would you care about him? He never got a Spirit; he went back to the human world."

My eyes lingered on her face for a long moment. That didn't sound right, but there was no lie in those blue-green orbs. Then again, a new emotion was tiptoeing its way into her gaze. Uncertainty.

"This was his," I asked, pointing to the cloth yet feeling like I already knew the answer. _No_.

"It's mine. He fell from a ledge and cut himself right before we went into the Wind Factory. I used that to bandage him up a bit."

I felt my left hand give an involuntary twitch and looked down at it curiously. It was the same as it had always been: three-fingered, taloned, black-red bird flesh. Yet there was something… wrong. "It wasn't the fall," I heard my voice say from some great distance. "The cut was caused by Lord Cherubimon." My hand turned palm-up and came closer to my face for inspection. The gash Cherubimon had made to extract Arbormon's data had never quite healed and as I stared I began to wonder if it reflected some deeper wound. Some hurt I didn't remember having.

"Cherubimon," I heard the girl's voice repeat in confusion. "What could possibly make you think that?" I continued as if I hadn't heard her.

"He can take things out of you through your blood- no, through your pain. And put things in… In your mind… They change you."

"Why do you care anyway? What's it to you whose blood this is"" She gestured to the stained handkerchief still clasped in her hand. "Kouichi went back to the human world, there's nothing you can do to him now."

"No," I said, shaking my head from side to side and frowning. "No, he didn't." My eyes swung up to meet hers imploringly, yet I couldn't for the life of me understand why. I was in a dream, only partially aware of what I was doing or saying, acting simply because it seemed like the right thing to do. And in this dream it was imperative that she realize the boy Kouichi was not in the human world. He hadn't been there for a very long time.

Zoe frowned, looking angry. "Of course he went back! He found something in the Wind Factory, something that could take him back to the human world without a Spirit, but never got the chance to tell us. He's safe at home with his family right now!"

I met her gaze impassively. Her fervent denial didn't change the fact that this Kouichi was still in the Digital World. I felt it, knew it in my gut. I just didn't understand why. Zoe was breathing hard through her nose, looking distraught, her knuckled white against the stains on the handkerchief. There was a gleam in her eyes that hadn't been there before… the beginnings of tears.

"He has to be," she breathed quietly. "He has to be because we couldn't find him after the battle at the Wind Factory. All we found was this under a pile of ruble." She waved the cloth discretely. "We looked everywhere. We thought maybe, because he'd been sick, he had collapsed in some little nook in the debris. Maybe he was hurt and couldn't get to us. We even checked the surrounding caves and crevices, incase he'd ended up outside or…" Her voice caught in her throat.

"J.P. said this Digimon Nabikasumon had done something to Kouichi's hand. Had some kind of… I don't know… hold over him. And he'd been acting so strangely before. Like there was something in his head. Like he couldn't control himself. I don't remember- try not to remember. I've hoped for so long that he found a way back. And then I guess I just started to believe he did. But… maybe Nabikasumon took him. Is that what happened? Is that why you think Kouichi's not in the human world? But why would he do that? What possible use could a dark Digimon have for a human boy?"

She looked at me as if I knew the answer and, by some act of unimaginable cruelty, I was keeping it from her. Her face looked so pained and guilty, so honestly concerned about this boy Kouichi, I felt I had offer an explanation of some sort. The only comfort I could give her.

"The Spirits require a host," I started uncertainly. "A heart they choose, someone they call for to give them form. Human or Digimon, it doesn't matter. All that maters is that the Spirit accept the individual." I didn't realize the implications of what I was saying. Even when Zoe's mouth fell open in horror I kept going, the words spilling from me as if I were dictating some sort of philosophical paper.

"The Spirits in Lord Cherubimon's possession are tainted, and they've overwhelmed the Digimon with which they've bonded, for all intents and purposes becoming them. Ranamon and Mercurymon, there is no other left inside them. The Digimon they once were have long since become nothing more than shells the Spirits inhabit."

Silence.

"But there's another inside you," she read in the stillness. "It's not possible. It can't be, but… You're not just Duskmon, are you. There's a reason you look the way you do, why you seek us out yet can never take our Spirits. A reason why you know all this."

She moved closer. I didn't back away, couldn't. I was rooted to the spot, a dull ache starting just behind my eyes, afraid that if I so much as shifted my weight I'd break the spell. And I wanted to know what came next. The dream couldn't end, not yet, not until I knew why she had that look of grim realization on her face.

Zoe stretched out one hand towards me, grasping the mask that covered my mouth and nose. I felt nothing through the metal, nothing beneath the metal. As far as I knew there was nothing there to feel and this girl would have had just as much luck trying to remove my hand or foot. Then she gave a swift tug and I felt cool air on my cheeks and lips. The gentle fragrance of water and grass flooded my nostrils as I breathed, for the first time it seemed, tickling my nose and sending a shiver down my back. Yet my face as a whole remained blank, carmine eyes with their black whites and pinprick pupils holding an aqua-green gaze so infinitely filled with guilt and compassion it was difficult to stomach. Her arms went limp at her sides, dropping all pretense to the ground with the handkerchief and mask.

"All those times your eyes changed and your head hurt. When you tried to say something and couldn't. That other person you seemed to turn into. It was starting even then, wasn't it." Her damp, sweat chilled hands slid over my cheeks and held my face. "Kouichi," she whispered between shaky breaths. "What have they done to you?"

My right hand covered one of hers, causing her to shiver. I held it in place, feeling my claws extend over her fingers and make dents in my skin. A voice that was not Duskmon spoke from far away.

"He found me in Breezy Village. Saw me through the Mushroomon's corruption, eyes in the shadow all around them. Eyes I couldn't get away from. He told me things… showed me things. In my head. In my dreams, if I was dreaming at all. I tried to resist but he was always there, like a whisper. And all the while the Spirit calling for me, inside my chest. It hurt when I fought them. I had to make it stop; do you understand? I just wanted it to stop."

"Kouichi I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. How did this happen," she said, more to herself than to me. The hand I wasn't holding left my cheek, leaving a cold place, and traveled down my avian left arm. Her fingers felt like a breeze across my hard skin. I heard her from under water, distant, muffled. Ideas swam through my mind, wild ideas, crazy ideas.

"There was something I had to do" I started vaguely, staring at Zoe and seeing right through her. "A reason…"

"What?"

"Someone important… I followed him. He never saw me and I thought that meant he never noticed me. That he didn't care we were suffering. Cherubimon used that… I made it easy for him." A mirthless smile curled my lips and I felt warmth in my eyes. "But I was wrong. He did notice me; I saw it in his memories. He knew I was there. He wanted to meet me as much as I wanted to meet him."

Shards of ice exploded like shrapnel in my skull. Nails ran over an infinite chalkboard in my ears, needles stabbing through every hair follicle. My hands shot up to cradle my head and I tried to scream, but an iron fist had closed around my throat. Zoe was yelling something, grasping at my waist and elbows as I sank to my knees, but I could neither hear nor see her. An ocean of darkness closed over my head and then I wasn't there anymore.

* * *

_I opened my eyes to stinging blackness, then closed them again quickly, thin eyelids creating a futile barrier between their charges and the thick granules that assaulted them. My mouth opened to call for help and filled with wet dirt. A terrible weight compressed me into paralysis; I couldn't breath, couldn't move. My hands clawed sluggishly at what I thought was up and, miraculously, broke the surface. I pulled myself from the earth, coughing and spewing mud, fighting to stay above ground as the rain made fresh dirt slick. _

_ The forest was all around me, dead trees like skeletal remains protruding from dank earth. Reaching thin fingers into a purple-green sky of swirling darkness. Rain poured down relentlessly like icy whips, stinging my face and back as I gasped for air. My hands felt like gloves of cold ache and my hair, matted with dirt and filth, stuck to my face and neck. Mud continued to suck at my legs and waist, but it didn't matter. I let myself fall forward, closing my eyes and savoring the feeling of my cheek in the cold, grainy mud. Because, though it was painfully chilly and wet and uncomfortable, it was better than the numbness. I was awake and soon I would be free too. I wasn't going to be his puppet anymore. _

_ An annoyed and impressed snort shot through my body like electricity and my head jerked up in response. There, in the trees above and in front of me, two slits of red like tears in reality. Eyes that gazed down on me with a mixture of amusement, irritation, and a sort of pride. I knew those eyes._

"_So," said the voice in my head, like poisoned chocolates. "You're starting to remember. What a nuisance." I shivered, but not from the cold, gritting my teeth._

"_Let me go," I snapped, straining against the muck once more. "Let me go and leave me alone!"_

"_Perhaps it was unwise for me to take those memories from you to begin with," he continued, ignoring me. "Even through that's what you wanted, you seem to have lost you motivation with them. I would have thought my will was enough reason for you to destroy the light, but no. Despite everything, despite the power of the Spirit, you're still mostly human and you still have that human need to choose."_

"_I never asked for this."_

"_Didn't you? Your memory is still incomplete; you only seek out the parts you want to remember. Shall I show you what you sought to erase? Shall I remind you what a pathetic excuse for an existence you hade before I found you? Before I gave you a purpose?"_

_Black roots emerged seamlessly from the dirt, snaking their way towards me. I tried to get away, tugging more fervently at my lower half, but they caught me all the same. They coiled around my wrists and pull my arms out to either side, securing them like chains. I strained against them without actually hoping to break free. It was more a show of defiance._

"_I had a purpose," I hissed, refusing to meet his gaze. "I had a reason to be here and you took it away!"_

"_You were looking for someone, yes, yes, I know," he responded, board. "But do you even know who that someone is? Do you know why you sought him?"_

_I looked away more intently, staring at my right wrist. It had seized to fight and now lay limply, resigned to its confinement by the black roots._

"_I though not," he smirked, correctly interpreting my failure to answer. "Here, allow me to assist you."_

_Another root climbed up my back, causing me to shiver. As it went, smaller limbs sprouted from its sides in pairs and dug into to flesh on either side of my spine. I winced, not so much from the pain, which was surprisingly minimal, but because I could feel Cherubimon's crimson magic radiating through my body from every point of contact. When it reached the nape of my neck I felt the root split, sending two shoots under my ears to grasp my jaw, two up to my temples, and another two up to my brow. They slithered for a moment, squirming their way under my hair until they pressed against my scalp, then, with a sharp tug, the claw pulled my head around and up. My eyes met his and all thought of further resistance was smothered in their red depths. I could see the glow surround my body, feel the numbness spread from my spine like an infection, but none of it mattered. His eyes widened and I screamed in agony as the memories started._

* * *

_**There's a woman sitting on a wooden chair at a small, wooden table. She had pale, almost milky skin and dark hair pulled into a low ponytail. Her face is long and ovular, her eyes gentle and navy. There are letters strewn over the table top- no, bills. The papers are bills. Bills that must be paid if she expects to go on. The price of living. It is late, the moonless night sits stagnate outside the apartment door, and she thinks she is alone. There is no husband the help her, to care for her sick and frail body as it suffocates, to bring home enough money to take care of these pressing financial needs. There is no time for the studies that might grant her a chance to provide for herself and her son. There is no assistance in planning for the funeral of her mother or in paying for the medical bills that couldn't save her anyway. It is hopeless. She's not alone, but she might as well be.**_

_**A boy watches her from the shadows of the hall, paralyzed by grief and fear. No child should ever see its parent weak, but this boy sees it every day. In the moments she thinks no one is looking, moments like these. He knows she's hurting, knows what is hurting her, yet is powerless to do anything about it. If he could do something he would, but he's only twelve. No one would give him a job even if he asked for it. And no matter how hard he works in school, no matter how many perfect scores he gets or commendations from teachers he receives, he can never stop the pain. None of it changes anything. There's nothing he can do. He has no choice but to sit there and watch. She doesn't blame him, but he blames himself.**_

_**And as he stands there and stares at her, her tired face and hopeless eyes like acid on his heart, she begins to cry. Tiny, clear gems that roll down her face and cling to her lips and chin. Her tears make him want to die. They tear into him, each wet drop that hits the tabletop worse than a blunt knife in his stomach. Oh what would he have sacrificed to banish those tears! What would he have done to make it stop! He would take her burden upon himself in an instant; take all her pain and sickness into his young little body if only he could. He would sacrifice everything if he knew it could make her suffering stop. His body, his mind, his soul or heart or everything he was and owned and ever would own. There was no price too high. Not for his mothers happiness.**_

_**Then he remembered. There was something he could do. He had a father, a rich father, who could make the bills and sickness go away. He had a brother, her lost son, who could bring the honest smile he had so missed back to her lips. If he could make them a family again, then all her problems would go away.**_

_**But no, he thought with sudden malice. He had tried that, was trying that. His father had abandoned her and married another woman. He'd discarded his old life and had left all its components to wither and die. He didn't care, couldn't be made to care. And why should he? He had his new life. His meek and pathetic wife and his shining light of a son. The boy had thought that, even if his father was too callous to look back, his brother might at least be curious. He'd thought his brother, his own flesh and blood, would want to be reunited with his birth mother. He thought his brother would have cared. **_

_**But he'd been wrong. They were so heartless, all of them. They had their money and their house and their cushy life and they weren't going to share. He'd read it in their faces. He could have prostrated himself on their front lawn and begged for the resources to save his mother and they would have wrinkled their noses in disgust. How dare they. How dare they live their easy lives while his mother fought tooth and nail just to get by. How dare they sit and laugh while he watched the only thing in his life worth loving wither away as the world tore at her. It was their fault everything was like this! Their fault his mother now sat at the table crying and dying! They could make it stop at any time and chose not to! They had the power the boy could only dream of, the power to make it better, and wasted it on frivolous things!**_

_An unimaginable wave of hatred washed over me, tangible, powerful. It erased all complaints I might have had to my enslavement and blackened my soul once more. Yes, I had come to this world pursuing one goal, but Cherubimon had given me a greater task. The blood lust of vengeance coursed through me like a wave of insatiable hunger. His laughter echoed through my mind as I let the darkness take me back. _

_But not fully._

* * *

Black chords reached over my ears and across my face, reforming the metal mask Zoe had removed. I forgot I had cheeks or lips or a nose as they encased me once more, the cold chill of metal evident only for a moment before it faded into numbness. Zoe looked at me in pained alarm and tightened her grip on my shoulders. Her hands began to sweat, but her voice remained calm.

"Kouichi! Kouichi, what's happening?" My avian hand reached up and closed loosely around her throat, my eyes vacant. I stood up slowly, bringing her with me as much with my empty gaze as my grip.

"My name," I growled frigidly. "Is Duskmon. I am the Warrior of Darkness. A Digimon in Lord Cherubimon's service. I will destroy the light. There is nothing else." Her fingers grasped at my wrist and fingers defiantly. I could tell the cold burned her by the way she winced, but she refused to let go.

"Your name is Kimura Kouichi," she said back, slowly and calmly, meeting my eyes meaningfully. "You're a human with the Spirit of a Legendary Warrior, just like me. You have a life in the human world, people who miss you and want you back. You're not just the Spirit's host, you're its master. You have a separate will!" I tilted my head to one side, then, as if to refute her claim, shoved her back. She stumbled for a few paces, but didn't fall. Without looking at her I turned and began to move off. The Warrior of Light had evaded his fate for too long. This girl was meaningless; it was time for the clash of destinies.

"I know you're in there, Kouichi," she called after me. "Don't walk away from me!"

"I must destroy the Light," I said, more to myself than her.

"That's the Spirit talking, not you!" Desperation rang in her voice. "This isn't what you want, you know that. Don't let it control you. Fight it! Please, Kouichi, I'm begging you!" I stopped.

"He deserves to die."

"You've never even met Kouji, how could you know if he deserves to die or not? Cherubimon's using you; don't just sit there and watch! You're stronger than this, I know it, I've _seen_ it. Don't do this. Come on, Kouichi, I don't want to loose you again!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, still not looking at her. "But I… have to face him."

"Kouichi, wait!"

But I was gone before she could finish protesting.


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Truth is, I sort of wrote this back to front. So the good news is I have the next two chapters pretty well cut out. The bad news is, after chapter 7, I fear this may be a bit of a let down. I knew where I started, where I wanted to end up, and that I wanted to incorporate that bit I wrote back in Fate (You know, that one time it took me forever to update because I was working on a "future chapter" that turned out to be better suited for this sequel? Yeah, thought not. Go back and look through the author's notes, because I definitely mentioned it). This is mostly just me getting there; a major event from the series that's become more of a filler for this story. Parts of it I think turned out pretty well, but we'll see what you thing. You dudes are the readers, after all; your opinions are really the only ones that are important. Also my profs slammed me with some combination of tests, lab practicals, or group presentations every week since October 21****st****. Seriously, I was so used to having back to back exams that finals were a relief (no class). So that's my sob story and here's chapter 8. Enjoy and give us a bit of feedback?**

**Disclaimer: If I was making money off of this, or otherwise profiting from intentional copyright infringement of any sort, would I be putting myself through the stress of trying to get a 4.0 and chemistry degree? Probably, but that doesn't mean I'm claiming anything! Don't sue me, college already took all my money.**

* * *

Time has no meaning to one in the grip of a powerful emotion. Like boulders tossed into a river, the usually regular and measurable flow is thrown into white chase. Suddenly, the slightest instant can last a lifetime. Blink, and days or weeks or even years have gone by in a single breath. You stop caring and then time simply disappears. It fades into the infinite hunger, the all-consuming feeling. Just like everything else.

I went directly from Sakkakumon's spring masquerade into the only remaining vacant sphere. The one at his center. It was a paradox of blackness streaked with blue and maroon like the inside of a marble crowned by the sun-shaped symbol for light. That fit. This was, after all, the place specially prepared for the clash of light and darkness. The central stadium if you will. It was only right that it should embody in some way both elements. Fitting, yet at the same time, strange. While the Warriors of Light and Darkness fought constantly to establish dominance, this room somehow retained equilibrated balance. As Kouji and I once again tried to kill each other it would stay whole. How odd that this place, this hybrid of light and darkness that would soon see the battle's true fury, should exist at all without tearing itself apart.

Could Kouji and I exist together like that? Could we just _be_, just live without always hurting each other? And even if it were possible, would I allow it? After what he did, after all the suffering he caused that woman I couldn't help but remember, could I just let him go?

No. He had to pay; I had to make him pay. You don't get to just hurt people like that then walk away. You don't get to just live your happy life without thinking about those who need you. I didn't remember everything, not yet. I didn't even really understand my connection to that woman from my human memories. I just knew that she needed Kouji and he wasn't there. And her pain was my pain. So Kouji had to be punished, despite any other feelings I might have had to the contrary.

This was where the final confrontation would take place. This was where I would extinguish the light and fulfill my destiny. This was where I would finally take vengeance on the one responsible for this gnawing pain. The one responsible for _her_ suffering.

These thoughts filtered through my mind, there one instant and gone the next, ever present but not strong enough to dent my resolve. There was very little that could have changed my mind at that point. I knew I was only there for Sakkakumon and Cherubimon's amusement. I knew this was just another stage on which I was supposed to perform. I knew I was just a doll at some sort of twisted tea party and I knew something was wrong. I just couldn't look past my hatred for long enough to care.

Moments dripped by, but I couldn't tell you how many. Long enough for Ranamon to be defeated and cause Cherubimon to withdraw to the corners of my mind. Short enough to keep Mercurymon preoccupied with the Warrior of Flame. It didn't matter how much time passed because eventually _he _would come. If I sat and simmered for long enough Kouji would arrive. There was nowhere else he could go; the rest of Sakkakumon was either closed or occupied. And when he got here I was going to end him.

It all seemed so simple then. An eternity passed as I stewed in the hate Cherubimon had concentrated within me, like a swordsman sharpening his blade. Then I heard footsteps and everything sped up. Kouji walked into my line of sight, small and human, with those narrow navy eyes of his glancing around suspiciously. Maybe he could sense me. Maybe not. It didn't matter. All I knew was that he was responsible for all my anguish and pain, all the pain of that woman I cared so much about, all things bad in this world, and now he was going to pay for it. I would make him pay for it. Then I would feel better. Right, Lord Cherubimon?

I released a beam of purple-black energy from my avian palm before he could truly notice I was there. It struck him in the shoulder and he fell to the ground. He landed hard, biting back the yelp of pain and surprise I knew was burning in his throat, then rolled to his feet. His D-Tector flashed in his hand. Yet he didn't Spirit Evolve, as I had expected. He held it by his side like a threat as I closed in, but didn't move to use it.

"What's your deal," he spat, skipping pleasantries all together this time. "First you want to fight, then you want to screw around in my memories, now you want to fight again? Can we please talk somewhere in between all this because you seem really confused."

"You had your chance to talk and missed it," I hissed, stopping barely a meter away from him and concentrating more purple energy in my avian palm. "Now I'll help you atone for your cruelty."

"My cruelty? What are you-"

"Spirit Evolve and fight or die now, it makes no difference to me."

He snorted, giving me a very strained smirk. "Oh don't worry, I'll fight you. But you owe me some explanation first." I regarded him condescendingly, dark energy still pulsing about my hand. The grip on his D-Tector tightened as he scowled, ready for the blow I was just waiting to deliver. A moment of tense stalemate swam by, and then the unexpected happened. Kouji sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "Why me? At least tell me that much."

He said the words quietly, but they rang in my ears like an explosion, triggering the familiar throbbing. I looked away from him, fighting the urge to rub the soreness from my brow.

"I can't."

"Why not?" His voice shot back, louder this time. Angry. There was a sharp intake of breath as he tried to say more, but I cut him off, my human hand coiling into a fist by my side.

"Because it hurts to remember! Because it hurts to be near you or even think about you! Because you are light and I darkness. Isn't that reason enough?"

Kouji made no answer- at least, no verbal answer. I could feel his navy eyes on me, burning like searchlights in the mist. Looking at me, yet not seeing me. Bitter nostalgia rose within me like the urge to vomit and I turned my carmine gaze to meet his, daring him to deny me. He blinked back, his face a carefully arranged mask of apathy. "Execute," he said coldly. Periwinkle bands surrounded his body like a shell, illuminating the dark cavity for an instant. I followed suit, sliding into Duskmon's form and readying my swords.

"So we're really going to do this… again," he almost sighed, hesitating a moment longer. "Planning to finish me off this time? Or are we still just playing?"

"Think what you will," I shot back frigidly. "I won't be satisfied until you feel the pain you've caused, and I won't stop until you do."

"Tch," he snorted, betraying almost none of his uneasiness. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with. I've got things to do!" And he attacked me.

There was a blur of crimson and blinding white light. Attacks released and deflected, ricocheting around the marble yet never scaring it. We fought just as we had before: I taunted him with superior strength, speed, and agility and he rammed into the places I'd been standing like a dumb bull. The pain in my head lessened as I fought him, but it never went away. It hung ever present like a cold haze, both concealing and framing the newest question Kouji had ignited in my soul. My latest doubt.

Light was cruel pain, cutting from place to place and burning everything in its wake. Everything it saw, everything it touched, was consumed and condemned by it. Kouji was light; any and all who got close to him were scorched by that fact. He was responsible for that woman's pain and thus my pain. I had tried to do something about it, but the human boy was weak. Ineffective. So I became Duskmon. Now I had the power to right all his wrongs and exact vengeance. All this I accepted without question. And it all made perfect sense… whenever Kouji wasn't around.

But when he _was _around and I confronted him with his crimes, he never understood. How could I punish him when he didn't know what he'd done wrong? How can justice be brought against an oblivious criminal? What was it I felt compelled to do whenever I was around him and why couldn't I just end him and be done with it?

There was something I wanted from him- something more than just his blood. What was it? And why did it hurt so much whenever I tried to remember?

The fight went as if rehearsed, like always. We collided, spun apart, grazed each other and repelled. He attacked, I blocked. I attacked, he was too slow. In another show of periwinkle bands, his human body fell before me, just barely supporting itself on its hands and knees. His arms were shaking and his breath came in pained huffs, his eyes fixed stubbornly on the ground. It was a deliciously pitiful sight, yet I derived no satisfaction from it. I knew I should, but I didn't. I raised my sword above my head.

"This is your end, Warrior of Light." His jaw tightened. "And with your death, all those you've hurt will finally achieve justice."

"Justice?" There was a high crack in his voice, rawness this very real threat of death had laid bare. His strength, his pride, those things he'd always relied on had failed him. The life he'd thought so pointless now hung suspended in the darkness and the stench of regret hung thick. His… and mine.

"Tch. You may be right about that, Duskmon. Maybe this is justice, or some twisted version of it at least. Maybe this is what I deserve."

My elbow locked as a wave of what I can only describe as sheer terror washed over me. "Stop it," I whispered, but it was too late. The dam had finally burst and the flood would run its course.

"I haven't been fair… or kind. To anyone. Not for a very long time. It wasn't her fault; she didn't mean to try and replace Mom. She just wanted us to be a family, and I _was_ cruel to her. Maybe that's what you've been talking about; maybe that's why this is happening. But it's also why I can't die now. It's why this can't be the end! I know I've hurt people and I want to make it up! I have to. I have to make it back to the human world, and giver her those flowers. I have to say I'm sorry!"

Light erupted from the D-Tector at his side, fanning out like waiting arms as a new, piercing beam burst through the marble walls from the outside world. The two collided, swelling like a giant bubble to engulf the darkness. I raised my arms in defense, then found I didn't need them. There was no pain here. Remorse and sadness, yes, but no pain. Warmth, not fire. I felt myself emerge for a moment, as if from a cold lake, and in that moment my frozen hatred melted back into its source. I was so sad, so afraid, and I didn't know why.

Then, as quickly as it had come, the light faded and Cherubimon's cold reclaimed my heart. Where Kouji had kneeled, preparing for death, a new Warrior stood. He was as tall as Duskmon, thinly built, with gleaming white armor. His hands and feet were tipped with long, yellow claws and his helmet was snouted and fanged like a wolf. Rich brown eyes stared at me, alight with newfound purpose. I dropped my arms and scoffed.

"Impressive, I'll admit. But pointless. Why get up? Why keep fighting? You're miserable and alone;" _Just like me_ "why deny it? Why not give into your despair and let me end this plague called Light?"

"I'm not denying anything," he growled. "But I'm not giving up either. Yeah, I did this to myself. I'm alone because all my life I've done nothing but push everyone away. And I was all right with that because I thought it made me strong. Now I see I was just being selfish, that in trying to protect myself I was hurting those who care about me.

"I'm not going to make that mistake anymore! I have to live. I have to go back and tell all the people I've hurt that I'm sorry. You may not be able to understand it, Duskmon, but that's why I keep fighting. That's why I won't loose to you. Beo Saber!"

A light flashed behind his back and Beowolfmon pulled out a long, double bladed sword. It was yellow and metallic, gleaming in the darkness, two wicked looking hooks on its tips. He struck. I got my swords up just in time. Our blades locked together as we poured all we had into them. Equally matched for the first time. Clouds of light and darkness reared around our bodies, clashing hungrily. They wanted to destroy one another, and they used us to do it. Beowolfmon's teeth gritted as he strained to overpower me, his gaze intense and pure.

He had something to fight for, a reason to beat me… to hate me. That confession just now, the vow to make it better, those hadn't been lies. Kouji didn't lie; he was sorry. He wanted everyone to know that and I was standing in his way. Of course he wanted me gone.

What excuse did I have? Lord Cherubimon had instructed me to destroy the light, and in the beginning that had been enough. Then he'd persuaded me that the Light was responsible for this aching pain I always felt. Now it was Kouji himself that was at fault. Through these fragments and flashes of memory, this disjointed knowledge from another life, Lord Cherubimon was trying to prove that to me. And it did seem that Kouji was responsible, when I wasn't near him. When I saw him, talked to him, it became increasingly difficult to believe he was the monster Cherubimon claimed was my enemy. And now… Kouji had said he was sorry for the pain he'd caused, sorry for pushing people away and hurting them. That included that woman and I, didn't it? He'd apologized to us too, right? Wasn't that what I was mad about, that he was hurting us. If he'd apologized, why did I still fight? Hurting Kouji had not made my pain go away, it made it worse. Maybe I just wasn't hurting him enough. Or maybe…

The clouds of dark and light expanded. As I strained against this new Warrior of Light, something flashed inside me; I was suddenly small and exposed. I could see Kouji across from me, human and defenseless, and I knew he could see me. I didn't know what he saw, only that it was me. His brow knit in confusion, his lips parted, and then he pulled away. His blade slid off mine and Beowolfmon stepped back. I stumbled forward as he left, catching my balance and shooting him a vicious look. He ignored it, staring at me incredulously.

"What are you," he asked for the second time. I lowered my swords to my sides, staring back suspiciously. "Duskmon, just what are you to me?"

My eyes widened as if he'd landed a blow. That familiar buzzing had started again in my head, like thousands of whispers building to a migraine.

"Answer me! This thing between us is more than just light and darkness and you know what it is! Now spill it!"

My breath stopped. What was I to him… Why did I seek him out? What had he done that had hurt me so badly? Why did I want him to suffer, to be sorry and regret? Was it just because he was Light and I was Darkness? Because of that woman in my memories? Or did it go beyond that. What was it about Kouji that my human heart responded to? I knew the answers, somewhere deep inside. But I was afraid. They came unbidden, responding to **his** call. Disjointed and painful. Time fractured.

What were we?

"I am..."

Whispers raced across my mind, too fast to understand. My head ached, the words were blurred, they didn't make sense. Memories like ripples, phrases half formed, I didn't understand. It wasn't like when Lord Cherubimon returned my memories.

"I… am…"

The dull throbbing at my temples intensified until it was more of a drilling. Words like leafs in the wind, pain searing across my scull. Ice in my blood. Freezing pain. I wanted to move but I couldn't. Flashes of sight and sound. Unskilled probing. An unwilling pet tugging at its collar.

What were we…

_Brothers. _

My body seized as if run through with an electric current. Every fiber tensed into internal paralysis, setting my joints into painful rigidity.

_You have..._

Beowolfmon looked impatient, even annoyed by my refusal to answer his questions. But even as I showed my vulnerability, he didn't strike. My head screamed, its agony ringing in my ears despite my best attempts to block it our. _Find... You must find... Need to know. _My breath hissed between my teeth and I choked on it.

"I don't remember," I grunted.

"Not good enough." Somewhere past all the pain and confusion, I had to laugh at how typically Kouji that comment was. Even his expression, though on the face of a Digimon, looked like... Kouji. It was some how comforting, to know that at least he was stagnate in this whirlwind of change.

_Need... Have... Know... A Brother... You need. She was just laying there, old, frail, dying. It hurt to see her like this, to see her in so much pain. The doctor had said that she shouldn't have had any visitors, that she needed to rest. But Grandma was always feisty, always bolder, more stubborn than anyone ever expected or thought proper._

"What aren't you telling me? I'm not an idiot, Duskmon, I know there's something. I've seen you when we fight; I know you're not like the others._"_

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the flow of humanity from returning, trying to forget again, to stop the pain. Trying, and failing. I focused on the blackness behind my eyelids, but the memories were there too, taunting me. Why? Why did all the answers remain hidden when I looked for them, but come willingly as water from a faucet when Kouji asked the questions?

_She'd said that she needed to see me, to talk to me; almost had a fit when the doctor told her it was a bad idea. So there I was, by her bed, grasping her hand. The stench of hospital, putrid sickness barely concealed beneath air freshener, filled my nostrils. Icy sunlight from the outside world filtering through sheer curtains into the dry, overly air-conditioned room. Her breath came in whizzing gasps, her skin was pale and dry and cold, her eyes were barely open. She looked like death. This place… was death. Hers and mine. _

"You look… exactly like me."

My brain felt like it was trying to tear itself to bits, my insides were seething just beneath my skin. I felt like curling up in the nearest corner and passing out, but I knew that wasn't an option. Why? Why was this happening? Why didn't I remember this before, when it had been my own will demanding the explanation? Why was I putting myself through this pain… for his sake?

_Her voice was so quiet at first, so sickly, that I didn't even realize she was speaking until she had called my name at least twice. "What," I asked softly as I could, trying not to let the doctor or my mother, who were both standing just outside the door, in on our private talk. "What is it Grandma?"_

"You don't realize what you're asking!"

_Kouji... Need to know...Find... A brother... Must find... Know... Kouji...Have a brother... You need to know... You have to find..._

"The hell I don't! Who are you Duskmon? What did I do to make you hate me so much?"

I gagged as the pain ran down my spine like fire and twisted in my stomach, hunching over to try and lessen the shock. My armored arms, still clutching twin crimson blades, pressed against my abdomen. Pale blond hair slid over my shoulders to shield my already masked face.

"_Kouichi, you need to know." I was confused, what was there that could possibly be important enough that she would call me in and whisper it to me with her last breath? What could be such a great secret that she would wait this long to tell me? What was so twisted and wrong that my own mother would keep it from me?_

"It's not what you did," I heard a voice deep within me answer. "It's who you are, and what you didn't do."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"_You need to know, Kouichi, you have a brother. You must find Kouji..."_

_Kouichi...Kouichi... _Kimura Kouichi? Yes, that's what the girl had called me. That's whose blood had been on the handkerchief. My blood. The blood of Kouji's twin brother!

"Kouji," I said, my head jerking up suddenly. "None of this is what it seems. It's not how this was supposed to happen."

A red black mist began to form around me, seeping from an unnoticed shadow on the wall. It felt cold through my armor, in my heart. Painfully cold. Slowly, like water drawn into a sponge, it filtered through the crevices and leaks in the black metal. Past my skin. I felt it surround the human inside me, constricting him, holding him so he had no choice but to watch. My eyes slid out of focus. The old memories began to play. Ordered this time. Controlled.

"I don't understand," Kouji said, his shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry, but-"

_The woman with dark hair cries alone. My mother cries… and there's nothing I can do to help. She suffers in my darkness, forever bound by the shadow of my existence… and the loss of light that is my twin. I know now that's what she sees when she looks at me. That's the bitter sadness that never leaves her eyes. Why she never told me about him. I am the son she raises and loves, but also the constant reminder of the twin that was stolen. That's why, no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try or how much I beg, I can never make her happy. That's why nothing I do means __**anything**__. It's all in vain without him._

_She doesn't want just me, she wants him too. She wants Kouichi __**and**__ Kouji. I'm not enough. That's what she didn't want me to know. But Grandma told me; I do know. As long as Kouji remains absent, she'll regret. And as long as she regrets she can't help but see him when she looks at me. The incomplete set, the broken family. The joy she can never have. All I can ever be is that reminder. It's despicable. _

The dam broke.

"No!" The scream tore at my throat, bursting forth from my lungs so fast it hurt. I straightened, swords unfolding, hungry. "Shut up. You know nothing about me! You never bothered to find out. You think you can just be sorry? You think that makes **anything** better? You will pay for your crimes. Pain for pain. Blood for blood."

He took a single step back as I raised a crimson blade to chest level, staring down its length to scrutinize him. Then I struck.


	10. Chapter 9

**Additional Note: I know this is not what anyone wants to hear, but my hard drive crashed about a week ago and all my data, everything I've done digitally for the past 4 years, is gone. Poof. So now I'm reconstructing, which pretty much means that my normally long update intervals are going to be even longer this time. It's quite a shame because I really liked what I had going for Ch. 10. The good news is that it all came from me, not my computer, and now that I have the computer back, I can create it again. Please be extra patient, I'm trying to rebuild an empire. I'm sorry.**

**Kilarra**

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**Author's Note: The problem with piecing things together is that sometimes they come across as pieced together. Not to mention that "revelation" chapters are difficult in and of themselves. And the fact that this chapter, the previous one, and the next one were skeletally constructed as a single entity. Then I realized that that domino chain would need to be broken and it seems the breaking points, as far as the action and introspection, can't help but be jagged. All that to say that I didn't much like the last chapter as a whole because of how I built it and the same holds true for the first few pages for this one. My philosophy is that if I don't enjoy the writing, then I can't expect anyone else to, so I'd like to think that when I say the middle to end gets to be pretty good, it doesn't just come from ego. But this first part… bear with me. When I write, I also try to make you as a reader emotionally experience the character. **

**In this instance, that experience is making sense of senselessness while being distracted in battle while having someone else stand over your shoulder and tell you what to feel. Emotionally it's not linear at all, it should be expressed as a burst of conflicted feelings, physical reactions, images, voices, and half formed thoughts, but there's no other way to put it in writing. If I have to explain it then obviously I didn't do a good job in the first place; nevertheless I feel compelled to offer some foundation. Assuming I accomplished this goal at all, that is. **

**Also, too much Kant, not enough time and sleep. You have to speak his language to understand, then you find dropping the dialect is not so easy. Don't worry, the actual chapter shouldn't be too much like this… I hope. As always, have thoughts and tell me about them. Be nice people, do good things, etc.**

**Disclaimer: You know, my head hurts. So I'll be blunt this time. I'm not claiming any copyrighted material as my own or making a profit.**

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I attacked Beowolfmon, quickly and smoothly, like a snake coiled in the grass. No hesitation, no mercy. Just sheer, corrupt, darkness. He caught one blade and twisted back to avoid the other. I felt Cherubimon at my back, filling me with tainted power. It rushed through my veins, anguish, wrath, but worst of all, knowledge. This boy was everything I wasn't, everything I wanted and couldn't have. The light which cast my shadow, which held me at bay in the darkness, kept me powerless to help myself or those I cared about. Still…

Even as my body fought, the flaws of this logic resonated in my awakened mind, boiling into more questions, more uncertainties. There was something I was starting to realize, something that made me want to hurt Kouji and help him at the same time. I just couldn't figure out exactly what it was. My body ignored me, acting as it always had. Responding to Lord Cherubimon's will as it always had. It was me and not. I had some form of control, some will to resist, but didn't assert it.

Kouji was surviving just fine without my intervention, and I saw no problem with sharing the pain. Regardless of his guilt or innocence, regardless of my motives or manipulated feelings, there was no denying I wanted him to suffer. I wanted _someone else _to suffer. Misery loves company. So I fought. Because that was the only way I knew to make the pain dull.

This new, Fusion Evolution was much stronger than its predecessors, so strong that if I let my guard down for even a moment, he would probably have landed a blow. The Darkness would not simply overwhelm this Light; some work would be required to defeat him now. If he'd been faced with my previous self, the Duskmon without memories or purpose beyond Cherubimon's will, he would have won easily. But I was different now. I was angry. Confused, but angry. Angry for **her **sake, fighting to avenge **her **suffering. _My_ power had increased as well. I trapped him in a whirlwind of crimson blades and beams and, though dodging seemed significantly more strenuous, his wicked yellow blade still didn't so much as touch my armor.

The clouds of Light and Darkness surrounded us again, pulsing with our power, but I kept enough distance to ensure our human forms remained hidden. Inside me there were many people, many voices now in conflict. My actions may have been decisive, my feelings set, but my mind wavered. If I saw him, I'd remember we were brothers. I wanted to fight that which hurt my mother, an embodiment of unfairness I could blame and defeat. Not my brother. For me, there was a difference now. A distinction between Kouji and the Warrior of Light, between intent and results, that I knew couldn't exist. So I would hesitate. If I hesitated, he would take advantage of it. He did not know of our connection, he'd have no such qualms about dispatching me. To him, I was a puzzle, a question, but his enemy nonetheless. He would win very quickly and I would have failed. So I kept quiet and focused, ignoring all his attempts at battle-conversation. My doubts did not lessen my strength nor dull my blades.

"Frozen Hunter," he yelled, raising his sword vertically as his eyes glowed white-blue. A wolf of white fire rose behind him, red eyes focused on me, fangs bared. It lunged, claws extended as I crossed my swords to block. The wolf crashed straight into the crimson X, its massive jaws seeming to snap at me in frustrated fury. I struggled to hold it off, grunting in effort as it pushed me back. Then, with a furious cry of my own, I pulled my blades apart. They made a sharp, metallic noise and the wolf was turned back. It collided with Beowolfmon, sending him first into the marble wall, then through it. Smoke billowed from the breach as he fell, yelling in surprise. I moved to the edge and watched him hit the ground, watched him lay momentarily still as the dust settled. The taint within me surged in satisfaction, yet I felt only sadness. That ever-constant sadness I was only just beginning to understand.

_Why Kouji? Why is it always about __**you**__? Isn't it enough that you're the one she wants, that you're the only one that can make her happy? Do you have to taunt her too? Denying me is one thing, but your own mother? Don't you know that she needs you? How can you just let her suffer like that? What gives you the right to forsake your own flesh and blood?_

Several small figures were cowering maybe twenty meters to his right, shielding their heads with their arms and squatting on the ground in little balls of flesh. Among them I could recognize the blond girl Zoe, the human boys J.P., Takuya, and Tommy, and the two little Digimon who tailed the group like loyal dogs. Then there was a seventh form, golden yellow and ovular, with bat-like wings for ears and a knitted pink band around its middle. He was new. They were all irrelevant.

Without a second glance at the spectators I leapt from Sakkakumon, swords held so their tips formed a V like the point of a much larger blade and angled so they were perpendicular to the ground. Beowolfmon rolled clear just before impact and I clipped his side with my elbow. Another dust cloud went up and the crater left by his body deepened. The humans were yelling something, too jumbled to understand, but their voices were getting louder. As if they were moving closer to the fight. Foolish. It didn't matter. Very little mattered.

_Don't you realize what you're doing! Don't you realize who you're fighting? Who you've abandoned? I just wanted to make us a family again! Is it so much to ask that you let me?_

He struck while I was still recovering from the leap. I brought up one blade to block and swung the other at his chest. He pulled back, almost snarling. With a growl of my own I sliced at a diagonal with one sword, then the other, alternating and forcing him back. His double bladed sword was trapped in the defensive and I held it there.

"Stop it!" The girl's voice, shrill and anxious, cut through the air and seemed to hit me between the eyes. Beowolfmon caught my blades and pushed them down, taking advantage of my obvious distraction. He rammed his shoulder into my sternum and I stumbled back, disoriented. Lord Cherubimon's darkness was livid inside me, urging me into action. Yet I held myself back. It hadn't been that long ago that I'd been speaking with this girl, watching her cry and beg. Lord Cherubimon hadn't taken those memories or even fogged them. She was… She cared about me.

"_You're not just the Spirit's host, you're its master. You have a separate will!"_

Yes… I did. I wanted Kouji to suffer, true, but there was something beyond that. Cherubimon and Duskmon wanted to destroy the light, wipe it entirely from existence. I wasn't them. I didn't want Kouji _gone_. I wanted…

"Kouji, stop it! He's human! He's like us; he's just being used! Kouji, please, don't hurt him!"

Beowolfmon, who had his sword above his head in preparation for a downward strike, froze.

"Don't hurt him? Zoe, are you crazy," he asked, holding back his attack but keeping his eyes on me. "This is Duskmon; he's tried to kill us at least twice! He's trying to kill me right now!"

"I know that, but he's also Kimura Kouichi, a boy he came here on a Trailmon like the rest of us. And he's saved us at least twice! It was back before you joined our group, so you never met him, but he's a good person! He's fighting himself as much as he's fighting you."

"So he's… human? Another human here, after all this time? And _here_ of all places?"

"Yes! I know it sounds weird, but you have to believe me."

"It's not just weird, Zoe. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, he's obviously not a normal Digimon, but some normal kid from the human world? Ophanimon would have said something if there was another human with a Spirit."

"She's telling the truth, Kouji! At least, that there's another kid here. The rest of us all met Kouichi at the Wind Factory. He helped us save the Kokuwamon. Even though he acted a little weird, he was still really nice," said the little one with the orange hat, Tommy. "It's hard for me to believe Kouichi could have become Duskmon. I don't know what happened to make him like this, or if that's really him at all, but when we met him all he wanted to do was help the Digimon and go back home." Kouji looked almost skeptical. I can't say I blamed him. Then again…

_Is it so hard to believe? Or does thinking Duskmon nothing but a monster just make it that much easier for you to ignore me?_

He gave me a long, calculating look, his eyes narrow and critical, then let out a long sigh.

"Is that it? Of course it is," he said, lowering his sword and almost grinning. I tensed, feeling two very polar impulses clash in my gut. "That's the answer to all the riddles. You are human, just like me."

"No. I'm not like you," I snarled.

"I don't like it either, but if Zoe's right then it's true. You're human, right? You've got a Spirit? Something in the human world you were running away from? Hell, I thought you _were_ me for a minute there. Or some sort of twisted reflection. But there's more to it, isn't there. "

My eyes widened as if he'd slapped me, the all too familiar ache gnawing in my gut.

"Tch, this makes so much more sense. Your body, your memories. Even the way you look, sort of. I guess you're not me after all, what a relief."

His eyes were colder than mine as he stared me down and I felt something new. An old fear, from a time before Duskmon. He was looking at me; I was utterly trapped in that cold stare and I couldn't do what I- what I had to. Paralyzed. And I remembered why I'd wanted this power to begin with. Why the human inside me was weak and unworthy. This stare, his eyes, the eyes of the world. They look at me without seeing and I'm terrified. And alone. I'd wanted the power to make them see. But it wasn't working… Why? Lord Cherubimon had said… He'd promised… Why was I still afraid?

"Your name's Kouichi, right?"

"Don't call me that," I snapped, though my voice was small and fearful. "That boy's been swallowed up by the Darkness. Don't concern yourself with him; he no longer exists. I am Duskmon." I knew better, but there's a difference between knowing and admitting.

"If you wanna lie to yourself that's fine, but stop doing it to me. There's Duskmon, and then there's Kouichi, just like there's Beowolfmon and Kouji. I've _seen_ you."

"All you've seen are shadows."

"Look, I didn't choose this fight. You've been hunting me, saying all these weird things that don't make any sense, and you forced me inside your memories. What did you think was going to happen? Did you think I wouldn't care? Did you think I wouldn't want the truth? Stop screwing with me! I'm done with this game! What do you have against me? Why do you look like me? What happened to make you like this?"

I recoiled as if he'd hit me, stepping back.

"Kouji, stop! He doesn't remember what happened! He barely remembers himself! He needs our help, not our criticism." Zoe's voice rammed into Kouji's and was ignored.

"If you really are a human, then how could you fight us? How could you join Cherubimon? If you were brought here by Ophanimon to save this world, then how could you help destroy it?"

Sudden silence. I could hear the questions reverberate across the barren land; hear everyone else think in agreement. It was what they all wanted to know, ever since Zoe told them as they emerged from Sakkakumon. It was what they had all wondered in the darkness of their hearts. How could I, the boy they'd known and helped, leave them? How could I join their enemy and fight against them? Kouji had just been the only one insensitive enough to say it. As always, I knew the answers; I'd locked them deep within my human heart. I just didn't want to go there. I was afraid of what I'd find.

_You don't understand. None of you do. None of you can. This isn't about who's human and who isn't. It never was. I didn't know it would go this far. I didn't know what he'd want in return. I just… I didn't want to be weak anymore. I didn't want to watch anymore. I wanted to __**do**__ something. We're the same in that respect._

"Say something!" Takuya's voice shot through the stillness like a tongue of newly kindled flame. I took half a step back, my gaze flicking to him for an instant. Icy carmine met hot brown. "Kouichi, why did you leave? Why did you betray us? What could we _possibly_ have done to deserve this?" His words burnt like fire too, singeing the newly surfaced, human morality within me. And at the same time…

_I betrayed you? Is that what happened? But when did I ever owe any allegiance to you? When did I get tangled up in your battle? I'm not accountable to you. I didn't come here for the same reasons you did. I'm not like any of you and I never was!_

_ This may not have been the right way to get it, but I'm strong now. I've beaten you before. Maybe you don't see me, the real me, even though I'm right in front of you, but that doesn't make me worthless. I shouldn't be afraid of that. If anything you should fear me. I can force you to see me, if I want to. _

"It's hardly the poor boy's fault, Takuya," chastised the little white Digimon, Bokomon. The little golden yellow Digimon was clasped protectively in his arms and his beetle-black eyes flashed accusingly. "At least not entirely. Ever since his first encounter with Cherubimon's corrupt darkness in Breezy Village Kouichi has shown an abnormal sensitivity to it. It ate at his mind and body and he was powerless to stop it!"

_Powerless? Is that what you think I am?_

"You knew this was going on? Then why didn't you say anything? If it was that dangerous then why didn't you mention it earlier!"

"I couldn't have told you, I didn't know what was happening myself. Besides, Kouichi made me promise I wouldn't so much as talk about him! How was I supposed to predict he'd become an evil Legendary Warrior?"

"And he was more than a little bit scared, weren't you Bokomon."

_I refuse._

"Neemon, you insufferable busybody, you can't just-"

"Enough" I cut in, my eyes sweeping across their faces angrily. "This is pointless. None of it means anything."

A jagged, almost offended stillness followed my words. I didn't care. These memories, this boy Kouichi they insisted I was, they were just patches of convoluted light in my mind. Without context, they were nothing more than road signs meant to lead me in this direction or that and I was sick of it.

Kouji was both the question and answer. I'd always known that.

_I'm not some weakling you can go on ignoring. I'm not just going to sit back and watch you walk away anymore._

"Warrior of Light," I said, raising one blade to point at him. "You are my only concern. There is something I want from you and I will have it."

Before he had time to be anything but shocked I was on him, swords twirling in a storm of crimson. They didn't impact immediately; I only wanted to scare him. I wanted him to feel alone and helpless. I wanted him to know that, for the first time, I was completely in control of the situation. Beowolfmon caught one of my blades in the hook of his own, securing it out to the side. Poor choice, it left him open to the other sword. His friends screamed out a warning as I thrust the point towards his stomach, afraid. Of me, and what I could do. Finally.

I stopped just short of impact, pressing the sword tip into his ribs threateningly. Beowolfmon looked at me, his teeth gritted in annoyance, brown eyes channeling the image of a human boy. "Deadly Gaze," I whispered. A beam of red light erupted from the large eye on my chest and rammed through the Warrior of Light like no blade ever could. He screamed as the red glow surrounded him. I watched him fall to his knees, the periwinkle bands surrounding his Digimon body. Watched as they dissipated, leaving a human boy prone in the dirt.

_Such a little thing_. _Such a frail thing. I could break him like a toothpick, end it all in an instant. So why haven't I? Why can't I make it stop? Am I wrong? _

_Is this really what caused me so much pain? Is he really what hurt me so badly, I became this? Or is it something else? _

_Why am I so angry, if not because of you?_

The other humans made moves to Spirit Evolve themselves, but I held them at bay with a look. Periwinkle bands surrounded my own body and I slid back into my small- no, my human-like form.

"Why doesn't this make me feel better," I asked, staring down at his battered form. "You betrayed me. You betrayed your own mother. She's in so much pain, pain you could make disappear and yet you don't. The injustice of it makes me sick."

"That woman," he gasped, propping himself up on his forearms and pulling his legs underneath him. "Is my step mother and I'm _going_ to make it up to her! Not that that's any of your business."

"I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about our mother!" There was a stunned silence, but I didn't care. I ran right over it, caught up in the tide of my own revelation. "It's all your fault. You left us. You're her light- you're everyone's light, and you left us! It's all about you, don't you understand? It's always been about you! If you'd been there- if you'd seen- She cries almost every night, did you know that? She wants what was stolen from her. All those years- my entire life that was all she wanted! The only thing I could ever do was "find Kouji", but you never noticed me. I tried so hard and you **never** noticed me! Well how about now? Do you see me now, Minamoto Kouji?"

He was staring up at me, brow furrowed, eyes uncomprehending. Bewildered. My eyes moved from his to the other humans, sweeping over them like a cold wind. They were standing maybe two meters away, huddled in a disoriented group. As if they'd collectively picked up a book they'd read a hundred times and found that now, the first page was different.

"Can _any of you_ see me now?"

A low, malicious chuckle started in my mind, then began to seep out like a spreading fog. I could tell the others heard it too by the way they broke out of their stupor, looking around frantically. My shadow lengthened behind me, taking on the form of a giant, beast-like figure with a contorted frill about its neck. Slits of red light took the place of eyes and the darkness lifted off the ground, looming above me. It was still just a shadow, thin and black, but it had Cherubimon's form. His red eyes and sneering mouth gazed down at the humans from over my head.

"Good, Duskmon, that's good. Feel the anguish coursing through your blood, the hatred. That's your true self. That is your power."

"Cherubimon," growled Takuya, his jaw clenching and his hand diving into his pocket. Zoe grabbed his wrist and shot him a sideways look that clearly said 'Not now.'

"Use it, Duskmon," he continued, ignoring him. "Use it to destroy the Light. End, it, here and now! Prove your worth and fulfill your destiny!"

My… destiny? I looked back to Kouji. He was kneeling now, one foot flat on the ground and the other tucked underneath him. His left fingertips were pressed into the dirt, ready to spring up and block any attack I tried, but his eyes told another story. There was still defiance and arrogance, yet past that, in a place only I could see, a new sorrow bloomed. One he himself didn't understand, from a hurt inflicted long ago. A hurt we both shared.

_You've been looking for something too, haven't you. You're trying too. And all I've done is hurt you. This isn't what I was looking for. This isn't why I came here. I don't why but it wasn't… for this. _

"Why the hesitation, Duskmon? Do it!"

"You don't want to kill me Kouichi," said Kouji, his voice deadly calm. "I know you well enough now to say that."

Bitter rage. I pulled my taloned left hand back to my ear like a bowstring.

"You don't know the first thing about me," I spat.

"But I do." Zoe's voice. Timid footsteps. "Kouichi I don't know why you came here or what your real connection to Kouji is. And I'm not going to pretend to understand what you've been going through. But I do know you don't want to destroy anything. The Kouichi I met was kind and caring. He was a little quiet and private, but when his friends needed him he could always be depended on. He got us out of a really bad situation once, even though he had his own problems to deal with. Even though, looking back, he probably should have run away. We didn't protect him, or even help, but he still saved us from our own arrogance."

My eyes moved to her solitary form, my arm still tensed. Carmine against jade. She had that same look again, that mixture of regret and compassion, her hands trembling fists at her sides.

"That Kouichi didn't need the Spirit of Darkness to be strong or some twisted freak telling him what is destiny is. He could make his own decisions! You're still that person, Kouichi; don't let yourself be so easily used! Or am I wrong?"

Ice-cold laughter cut the moment, reverberating in my chest like a base drum. It started off as a low chuckling, then Cherubimon tossed back his shadowed head and positively howled.

"How naïve. You are right to assume that human still exists within my Warrior of Darkness, but to think he has any control? And besides that, to think you knew him at all? How ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous," shot J.P., stepping forward to join Zoe. "We've all see Kouichi fighting you! We know he's still in there, despite you messing with his head!"

"Are you so sure? Are you so certain that if I retracted the Spirit of Darkness and revealed the human you call Kouichi he'd be anything more than a doll," sneered Cherubimon.

"Yes. He's our friend and we're going to help him."

Cherubimon just laughed again. Zoe and J.P. both ignored him, their eyes fixed on me. I looked back at them, then back to Takuya and Tommy, and finally down at Kouji. As our eyes met he began to stand up, very slowly, like I was some kind of twitchy animal he didn't want to spook. There was something in the way he was watching me, something in the way they were all watching me, that I didn't understand.

_What is it you're expecting me to do? Just who do you think I am? Why are you all… looking at me like that?_

"All right, Duskmon," Cherubimon hissed between chuckles. "Let's show them what's become of that human you used to be. Let's show them just how misplaced their hope is."

My eyes widened suddenly as fear constricted around my chest. I looked over my shoulder, taking in air to protest, but I was too slow. By the time I'd realized what he was planning to do he already held one clawed paw over my head and was tearing away a shell of darkness. Kouji leapt back. My toes lifted off the ground as he held me suspended, his puppet on strings prepping for a show. I screamed, arching my spine so my shoulder blades almost touched, throwing back my head, eyes wide. It felt like every single hair on my body was being pulled out slowly by the root, like he was freezing away a layer in my soul. The Spirit's data was being separated from my human body, cancerous veins of tainted black pulled back into their source. Concealed but still there.

At the same time I felt Cherubimon's oppressive darkness descend into my mind, setting up a cage in the Spirit's stead. I felt the rain on my back, the sucking mud around my body, the icy cold in my flesh. That nightmare forest where I'd first encountered Cherubimon called to me and it was all I could do just to remain conscious. Awake, but just barely. So, now I was a toy to hurt them emotionally as well as physically. I was Kouichi again… until Cherubimon had his fun. This was all just to taunt the others with their own helplessness and failings; I knew that as well as he did.

His will wasn't pressed against mine; I could stop myself from being a tool, if I tried. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't fight. I was going to stand there and allow myself to be used, just like always. His power over me was more than physical and it extended beyond the Spirit of Darkness. Human or Digimon I was still bound to him, to that dead forest. I didn't want to hurt those people who somehow seemed to care about me; I didn't want to prove them wrong. But I couldn't go against my master, not with him so close. Not after everything I perceived he'd done for me. I couldn't just forget the twisted loyalty that still rested inside me. Cherubimon wanted them to see that. That's what hurt the most.

When it was done I collapsed to my knees, legs spread, ankles twisted out, human hands resting palm up by my feet. Sweat made green and red shirts stick to my back and sides uncomfortably and my breath came in shallow, pained gasps. My chin was tucked to my chest, still dark eyes barely open. All power, all the energy and defiance I had possessed moments before was gone with the Spirit. I was like a marionette whose strings had gone slack. And I felt so tired.

The others regarded me in pure, unadulterated shock. They'd all believed Zoe, of course, but none actually expected to see me as the boy they'd met. They hadn't expected Cherubimon to 'release' me so easily. Nor, I think, did they believe his hold over me extended beyond the Spirit of Darkness. They though I was like every other corrupted Digimon they'd fought, that if Duskmon were peeled away they'd find the boy they'd met. Unchanged.

Which was why Cherubimon had to prove them wrong. And I just couldn't fight him.

It was sadistic. It was all just so sadistic.

"Here it is, the remnants of that boy I found in Breezy Village. Lively, isn't he? Go on, call to him. See if he responds. See if he so much as looks at you."

"Kouichi," called Zoe. "Kouichi, it's ok now. We'll protect you, come over here."

I didn't react. Couldn't. My body may have been freed but my mind was still very much a prisoner of my own solitude and Cherubimon's soothing darkness. I felt like I was watching someone else's dream, tired, only mildly interested. I wasn't there- Kouichi wasn't there. Just a shell, lifeless despite its inhabitance. It was like she was calling to someone else, someone far away. Vaguely, I wondered why.

"What's the matter? Kouichi, answer me!" She started towards me, disbelief creeping onto her face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw J.P. catch her elbow. Takuya moved forward as well, as if trying to get a closer look, but J.P. shot out an arm to block his path.

"J.P., what gives," shot Takuya.

"Something's not right."

"J.P. let go!"

"Wait, Zoe! Look at his eyes, they're all wrong. They're the same as when he'd act all weird, remember?" He narrowed those critical brown eyes at me, then moved them to Cherubimon's smirking face. "What did you do to him!"

"I've done nothing. I merely set the stage, it was Kouichi himself who chose to become the Warrior of Darkness. I made the offer and he accepted. If anyone is to blame for that, it's you humans."

"That's crazy! Kouichi was just fine when we met him. Sure, he got weird from time to time, but that was just you messing with his head, wasn't it," accused Takuya, straining against J.P.'s arm. "You put the darkness inside him!"

"How little you understand! I am not the one who sought Kouichi out; it was his heart which called to me. If you had noticed he was suffering or wondered why he was here, that may not have been so. It was your inattentiveness that brought him to this point, your refusal to see he needed help that caused him to seek me out. His loneliness and desperation grew into the most delicious anger, breeding a darkness unmatched by anything in this world in his heart. Kouichi came to me of his own free will and I transformed his pain into power. Even now, with the truth placed so obviously before you, you can't bring yourselves to comprehend the seriousness of your negligence!"

He raised the hand that still hovered over me and I felt the strings inside me constrict. I was tugged to my feet, my head still lolling against my chest. I had neither the will to lift it nor the nerve to meet the other's eyes'. Cherubimon was right, they hadn't noticed. They'd looked at me without seeing, watched the darkness consume me without perceiving. I hadn't wanted them to see, but still… I resented them for that.

_I'm sorry. I can't change how I feel. It all started out so simple, and then…_

"And you." I knew he was pointing at Kouji. "You're the worst of them all. You never looked at him! You, who caused him so much grief, never even realized he existed before. But now you do. Now that he has the Power of Darkness none of you can deny him!"

"I don't understand… what it is that I'm supposed to have done!" My hands twitched at my sides.

_Notice me_.

"Of course you don't! You are the Light and as such you're too arrogant to see your own faults. That's what makes you so pathetic. What makes you all so pathetic. I am the only one, in this world and yours, that saw Kouichi for what he was. I am the only one who soothed his pain and gave him the power you didn't know he desired. And you have the audacity to stand there and look surprised? He chose to lock his heart away in the darkness; he wanted to become Duskmon."

"That's a lie! I was with him in the Wind Factory, just before he disappeared. I know this isn't what he wants, not really! He was fighting it the whole time! You put something inside him, something to control him, and he was fighting it!"

_All these people, telling me what I do and don't want. But how could any of you know? I never told anyone what I wanted. I barely admitted it to myself. _

_Do you even see me? Am I anything more than a trophy in you match of Good vs. Evil? I know you care about me, but you don't know me. I barely know me._

_I am starting to realize though… there is something I want…_

"But wait, if Kouichi went with Cherubimon because of something we did, then why this fixation with Kouji? Why go after the one of us he never met? It doesn't make any sense!"

_Notice me. I'm right here. I have something to say. Something__** I**__**want**__._

"If you knew Kouichi half as well as you think you do it would make perfect sense. Your Warrior of Light was the secret that dictated his life, the constant weight on his soul."

_It's unreasonable to just expect him to see, I realize that now. I have to show him. I have to explain._

My eyes lifted and my neck straightened, slowly, cautiously, like a rodent just peeping out of its hole while being hunted. Dull, dark eyes swept this way, then that, taking in the faces and forms of those around me. Zoe, Takuya, J.P., and Tommy were all glaring up at Cherubimon and he was smirking down at them. They exchanged quips and blows like I wasn't there. I guess in a lot of ways I wasn't. Only one person noticed I'd moved, only one person was watching me. A single, silent question hung between us.

'Why do you look just like me?'

_I want to answer. I want __**you**__ to understand. I want __**you**__ to care. That's all I've ever wanted._

Our eyes met, gazes locked.

* * *

_It's cold. It's freezing cold… and suddenly dry. The rain's stopped and the mist has cleared. The trees shoot dead veins into a starless, moonless black and without the moisture to trap what little heat there was, ice fills in the cracks in their bark. The soil is hard with ice too, constricting around my waist and whatever parts of my arms still rested in the dirt. He's not watching right now; he's gone off to taunt the others. And in his absence it's gotten much colder. An attempt to freeze off my newfound resolve while he's not here too force his will down my throat I suppose. It won't work._

_Maybe I'd already forfeited my right to choose. Maybe once one becomes a puppet, there is no turning back. Maybe Kouichi really is dead and I just some memory fragment locked up for His amusement. None of that matters, nor will it stop me. My body will probably continue to obey Him, but my mind is awake now. I remember now, perhaps not everything but enough to make my own decisions. The other humans may not be my friends, but they hadn't intentionally hurt me either. I may not have forgiven any of them for not noticing me, but I don't want to fight them anymore either. All I want, __**really **__want, is to explain. I just want them to understand; I know that now. _

_This is my punishment for remembering. He's reminding me of what it was like before I met him, a manifestation of the loneliness. Everything hurts like a coat of splitting, frozen ache all over my body. So much so that a large part of me does wish him back. He won't come. He's gone off to cause more pain, trusting the ice to restrain me. If it weren't for the fact that this is probably my only opportunity to break free, He would have been right. But this is my chance to fight, to reclaim some of this human pride that still lives within me. I have no delusions; He's still going to use me. I can't save myself from a disease I sought to begin with. I can't just stop being sad and afraid and angry and all those things that created Duskmon to begin with. But if I fight now- if I resist now, just for a little bit, then maybe I can ask for help._

_I begin to tug at the dry black roots that still bind my arms and cling to my back. They're brittle in the cold and crack easily, groaning and splintering. I arch my back and jerk my shoulders, stretching those branches along my spine until they give, falling off. I shake them out of my hair and focus on my arms, but that's still in vain. Even as it splits, the wood itself remains intact, coiled tightly about my limbs, and I can't break free. I'm not strong enough to pull it up by the roots either. Not as I am, any way. _

"_Help me," I call out to the black. My words are a stream of white mist which hovers before me for a long moment, sympathetic. "I don't want to be here anymore… Some one, please, help me."_

_Suddenly a light blooms in front of me and I instinctively flinch back from it. Then I realize it doesn't hurt and look up into the portal. There's a figure there and for a moment I think it's me. The light begins to dim and I see long hair and stern eyes. A hand reaches down, burning away the roots and melting the ice. For a moment all I can do is stare, half suspicious, half amazed, then I come back to myself. I reach out and grasp it and he pulls me from the muck. In his light I can see just how filthy I am, and try to pull away, to hide again in the shadows, but his grasp is unyielding. He smiles a wry grin I know is just for me and I realize he doesn't care about the dirt smears on my face or the mud clots on my hair and cloths. He's found me and that's what's important._

"_You know," Kouji says in my mind. "You never really gave me a chance before deciding to hate me. You don't actually know me at all."_

"_I know," I admit quietly, returning his smile as best I can. It's a sad smile, full of regret and guilt. "I know. I was afraid."_

"_Me too." His eyes soften kindly. "I'm sorry this responsibility fell on you and I'm sorry you've had to deal with it alone. But I'm here now; you have to tell me. I've always cared and I want to know. I want to know you and I want to help Mom."_

"_I can't. Kouji, it's not that easy. I want to be free again, I really do. And I want to tell you about our connection, to explain everything. But…" I break away, staring instead at the desolate forest of my mind. "Everything started out so innocently and then, one day, I was here. And I don't actually know how to leave this place. I don't even know that I can."_

"_You can if you want to. I'll show you the way."_

_My gaze falls; I can't meet his eyes. He lets out an exasperated sigh._

"_Kouichi, I __**deserv**__e to know that I have a brother and I __**deserve**__ the opportunity to know him. I'll save you, but you have to let me. Or do you not want to be my brother anymore?"_

_I look back at him sharply, wide eyed. "Of course I do!"_

"_Then be strong," he says, placing a rather stiff but warm hand on my shoulder. "Be strong for just a little bit longer. I won't run away from you any more, Kouichi. Just tell me what I need to know, and __**nothing**__ will stop me. I'm __**going**__ to bring you back. Do you understand?"_

_I nod, taking a steadying breath._

"_Then come on. Don't keep me waiting."_

I blinked away the darkness and began to speak.

"Kouji I'm sorry."

Stunned silence settled over the scene like a spotlight, shining all attention directly onto me. I just looked at Kouji, addressing him and no one else.

"I'm fine, I don't need any more than I have. But my mother- She's… sad. All the time. And there's nothing I can do. I tried; I tried everything I could think of but it didn't change anything. I wanted someone to blame, someone I could punish for her pain and mine. And I envied you for the comforts I'd been denied. But the truth is there's no one to blame but me. I thought… if Mom could meet you, she might not be sad anymore. It's not your fault that I failed."

"Duskmon, be silent!"

It took the entirety of my will to fend off Cherubimon's hold, to hold my face up to meet Kouji's, but I did. There was a new power inside me, an infant delivering its first kick in the womb, and it would not be Cherubimon's puppet.

"I followed you to this world to tell you. I've been following you for a very long time now. It hurt when you didn't notice, because I was too scared to approach you myself. I was afraid you had everything and didn't want a brother. Then I started to believe it. And then I met _him_."

"Remember you place! You exchanged this will for power, now surrender it once more," I heard the fallen angel growl behind me, slamming his tainted darkness into my mind. I winced in pain, an involuntary spasm twisting my body, bending me at the waist and shooting ice through my mind. Yet still I wouldn't submit. I met Kouji's gaze with our mother's eyes and saw realization burst forth within it like the dawn.

"I don't hate you, Kouji; you're my twin brother! I hate myself for being weak and unable to help the people I love! And for being too much of a coward to tell you this sooner!"

"That's enough," Cherubimon snapped, his fury like grains of glass slicing down my back. I broke. With an agonized cry I fell to my knees, my hands shooting up to cradle my splitting head. I saw Kouji start towards me from between my fingers, but Takuya caught him by the elbow and held him back. His lips moved, but I couldn't hear through the haze of red. Black wind whipped around me like thousands of icy stings and the red mist from Cherubimon's hands began to consume me once more. The tainted Spirit of Darkness Duskmon still rested inside me, and it still obeyed Lord Cherubimon.

"That boy you once were no longer exists, Duskmon. He is nothing but the dark heart that gives you power. Feel his pain and guilt, his anger and despair. Use it to destroy the light!"

My hands slid from my face to my ears, palms pressing over them in an attempt to block out the world. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want-

The red mist passed through me like an ocean wind: damp, cold, and flecked with sand. My body reacted to it, craving it like an addictive drug, euphoric to give in once more. His darkness was overwhelming, like I'd been interacting with the world through an old television screen and he'd cut the power. The image collapsed into a thin, white line, then shrank into a small circle. The light at the end of a tunnel. The white circle faded and there was nothing.

I stopped thinking, stopped fighting. I'd let him in when I'd accepted the Spirit of Darkness and now I was trapped. Maybe I could resist for a little, but in the end he won. He would always win.

I felt my skin pale to deathly white, felt my eyes redden. Loose red and green shirts contorted and compressed against my body, becoming black and fitted. Armored bands of red-black metal radiated down my right arm and encircled my ribs as bones cracked and fingers lengthened into claws. Black scales began to emerge at my left shoulder and forced their way down, pushing up through skin like thousands of thick needles. Frost bit into my left hand and I tried to scream as fingers melted into talons, but a thick arm of darkness smothered me. It pressed over my mouth and nose, hardening into a metal mask. I could hear Cherubimon laughing triumphantly in my chest.

"Excellent. Now it's time to free you from that pain. You're human heart shall not trouble you, creature of darkness… ever again."

Something red began to glow at the center of my vision. A dark figure, bound in thick chains, empty eye sockets staring right through me. The chains were glowing as if red hot and in an instant they'd crumpled off, disappearing into the dark. It was free.

Mindless hunger burst forth, pure rage gazing from a skeletal dragon face. Black wings of steel feathers wrapped around an equally skeletal body, concealing all but the massive, avian feet and the black-red, boney tail that lay curled around them. It opened its long, beak-like mouth and lest loose a prehistoric cry, revealing a thin row of white, conical teeth. I recognized it by instinct. Velgamon. Any trace of humanity left within me was buried, even as it thrashed in protest. My mind was consumed with animalistic instinct as I gave into my Beast Spirit.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Hello all, it has been a while, hasn't it? That's partially due to my slow writing, but this time I can also blame my two failed hard drives. The good news is that, though it took forever, I did manage to generate an almost-closing chapter that holds up to my standards. The first bit I liked better the first time I wrote it, but that's gone and this is the best I can remember. After that, though, I think I managed to make a substantial improvement over the lost original. We'll see what you all think, but generally I like it. It's big, but a) I figured you all deserved a big chapter for your patience and b) I think it goes pretty fast. Next up, the thrilling conclusion. Have fun!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and am making no profit, so please no sue me. Thank you.**

* * *

This body is new. Stiff. Hungry. I scream in anguish and rage, stretching my wings. They cut through the air, slice it like knifes. My feathers are blades. Hard, sharp, they crack as I move. Protesting the action, or enjoying it? No consequence; my body will do as I will it.

I take flight, aching shoulders working, skeletal tail flicking. My talons flex, my teeth part. They want something… something to crush… I circle and spot the object of their desires. A boy, long hair, blue jacket. Blue eyes. Another in red restrains him. Brown hair, goggles, says something I do not care to hear. He is of no consequence either; it is the other I want.

Warrior of Light, Minamote Kouji.

As he looks at me his lips part and he struggles to take in breath. He's in shock; his knees look weak. The other tugs on his arm urgently, but he does not run. Easy prey. My blood boils at the sight of him and I scream again, diving. Talons flex, reaching. Other yells join mine. Hands placed on his shoulder and chest, shoving. They fall clear. I impact rock.

A roar tears my throat, inhuman and monstrous. I take to the sky again, circling.

"Kouji, what are you doing!"

"Kouichi…" His voice is but a breath, yet I hear it. Animal instincts hone in and I pause, listening. The blow knocked him to the ground and he stares at me from his knees. That same shocked expression in navy eyes.

"Kouji! Are you alright?"

"Pull yourself together! This guys not playing around!"

He just stares at me. The other humans flock around him. Ants.

"Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but this is a really bad time to freeze up. We can't just sit here, we need to move!"

Too much talk. I reorient, hovering.

Deadly Gaze!

They scatter. Self-preservation wins and he rolls clear. The dark energy scars the earth. They reorient, standing their ground.

"Well, if we're not gonna run, there's only one thing for it." The one in the blue jump suit pulls out a blue and yellow device. Holds it ready.

"No don't!" Kouji is active. Suddenly he is beside the other boy. Strikes the hand holding the device with the back of his knuckles. The other yelps. It falls.

"What gives!"

"J.P. that's my brother!"

Frigid splitting in my head like skin breaking. I growl, hurting. Angry. His words… they cause this. I hurt and Kouji is the cause. Yet there is another feeling deep inside, a small, warm feeling, that understands these words beyond the pain they cause. That means everything and nothing. The growl rumbles deep in my chest. My wings beat. Frustrated, uncertain.

"Kouji, we don't know that for sure. Even if Kouichi's still conscious in there, when we met him he said he didn't have a brother. That might just be Cherubimon messing with his mind, sounds like something he would do."

"It's not."

"You don't know that! Zoe asked him straight up if you two were related in

Breezy Village. He said he didn't even know you!"

"He lied!"

"Hey man, I don't know anymore than you do, but even when Kouichi was, well, as normal as he ever was his memory was all wonky. Maybe J.P.'s right, maybe you are. We can't afford to waste time on it now; we have to Spirit Evolve and fight! Listen, maybe-"

"No, you listen! There is no doubt in my mind that Kimura Kouichi is my twin. That's what this is about, don't you get it? That's what it's always been about! My dad told me Mom was dead, but she's not- she can't be. He's been living with her all this time! I need to know what he knows, I need to..."

He breaks off, looks up at me. I sense the conflict within him, the emotions he doesn't understand but feels compelled to act on. He sets his teeth, making his decision.

"And if that _thing_ has even a trace of Kouichi in it, then it's still my brother and I _will not_ fight him! And neither will you!"

His words… they hurt! Sorrow deep inside me cries out, fueling my fury. I don't understand what he's saying, but it touches something within me. A mind inside my own, a figure within my thoughts. Surrounded by red mist, he sleeps. His dreams are of…

Cold! Behind my eyes! These humans- their words- I cannot allow them to continue.

Deadly Gaze!

"Apparently he doesn't feel the same way!"

"J.P., he's being used, he can't control his actions! Remember when you first got your Beast Spirit? Imagine that, but with a powerful Digimon pulling the strings. I can't even believe what I'm hearing! And you, Takuya. Aren't you the one that attacked your friends when you first got your Beast Spirit? And it wasn't even evil!"

"Yeah, Zoe, I remember. I couldn't control myself and went after you guys, after Tommy! But luckily you guys cared enough to stop me before I could do anything I really regretted. That's all I'm suggesting we do for Kouichi. Maybe he's Kouji's brother, maybe he's not. It's kind of a moot point if he's manipulated into killing us all!"

"How can you be so heartless?"

"Listen, I don't want to hurt Kouichi any more than you do, but sometimes you have to fight someone to help them. He's being controlled by the Spirits, right? They're evil and they're making him evil? So all we have to do is get the Spirits away from him! Come on, guys, help me out!"

"But I…"

She looks at the one in red, then up at me. Her jade eyes show pain… regret. The one in red moves towards her, smiles a very soft simile. Places a gloved hand on her shoulder. She gulps and slips a hand into her pocket, resigned.

Their exchange is meaningless to me, a curiosity at best. But as the others (except Kouji) grab their devices and are enveloped in periwinkle data, I know what they intend to do. I cannot allow that to happen. As they Evolve I circle low to the ground, cutting a line into the stone with the tip of one wing. The Light boy watches me, fists and jaw clenched, navy eyes struggle. He understands the one in red, yet the sight of me still breaks him. Good. Let him be broken. Let him shatter and fade into nothing. Let him take my pain with him!

Dark Obliviation!

The bands of light dispel just as my dome of blackness begins to rise from the cut rock. They look around in a panic, alarmed by their sudden peril. I back away, anticipating the implosion. Breath hisses through my beak and I feel… something. As the darkness threatens to devour the Light boy I feel something strange. The Fusion Warrior of Fire, Aldamon, yells. Spurs the others into action- they scatter. He grabs Kouji in one massive hand and dives clear just as the jaws of my attack close. Its eyes widen for a split second, then reality collapses in a puff of dust. The sound is defining. I scream as it ripples through my body, exhilarated by the power and angry that the humans escaped. Four Legendary Warriors now stood before me, gawking at the destruction as red plasma cleared my crater.

Aginimon sets Kouji down roughly, out of the way. He fights to keep his balance as the uneven stones roll beneath him, grunting. His blue eyes are torn and, for the first time, I see true, unabashed fear in them. He sees my power and is terrified… at least, that's what I believe. The other inside me thinks differently, but his thoughts are alien. Human. I may be of his making, but I am not of his world. Kouji fears me, and that is enough.

"Takuya, wait!" His voice is almost frantic, his face pleading. The other ignores him; takes off towards me.

"Come on guys," Aldamon calls. "The sooner we take care of this, the sooner we can get back to the Rose Morning Star! Atomic Inferno!"

A thousand little rockets of flame come towards me. They seem insignificant, but my arrogance is costly. They impact. It burns!

I ascend higher into the sky, roaring in pain and rage. This sensation… it's unacceptable.

Dark Vortex!

He dodges and my attack leaves another deep crevice in the earth. I spy the others off to my left. One of them, the Warrior of Ice, is constrained to the ground. He will be less mobile.

Dark Vortex!

His bulk slows him and this time my beam strikes flesh. I hiss in pleasure, diving as he falls, talons reaching.

"Korikakumon!"

"Kouichi, don't!"

"Thunder Fist!"

It all happens so quickly. The lightning strikes me in the side, knocking me off course. It lacks the strength to hurt me, but I shriek nonetheless. I want to hurt them, I want to feel them crush between my talons. I swoop upward and rake those talons across the chest of the Warrior of Thunder, sending him to the ground. He doesn't even have time to get up before I'm upon him again, lifting him from the ground. I toss him easily and he skids. His form darkens for a moment and I expect him to fall back into his human form, defeated, but he fights it off.

Fine. I dive.

"Hurricane Gale!"

Pink bands of wind slice across my scales, largely ineffectual. Once catches me in the face, stinging, and I turn my attention to this more imminent threat. She floats before me, animalistic and yet strangely beautiful. The Warrior of Wind, Zephyrmon.

"I'm sorry," she says in a voice I almost recognize. I stare at her, turning my head slightly. "I'm so, so sorry… Kouichi."

That name… Something about that name hurts more than any of her attacks ever could. Pain sears in my mind and I charge her. She's caught off guard, easy prey. I fly directly over her and strike her with my tail, knocking her out of the sky. She lands hard, maybe hard enough to finish her, but I don't make the same mistake twice.

Dark Vortex!

She screams as the periwinkle bands surround her body, and her pain seems to lessen my own. When they suffer, I do not. I like it.

"Zoe!" The Warrior of Thunder runs to her side, the large hands of his Digimon body hovering uselessly over her. She's conscious, rolling onto her hands and knees and resting her forehead on balled fists.

"Avalanche Axes!"

I bat them out of the air.

"Solar Wind Destroyer!"

It comes from behind me- above me. I am enveloped in burning fire, agony like that which I sought to escape. But my anger is stronger than my pain. I beat my wings furiously and thrash my body, howling, trying to dislodge the flames.

"Tommy, J.P., now! Quick, before he gets out of it!"

The Warriors of Ice and Thunder are injured; their reaction time is slow. Too slow. I spin about and ram full force into Aldamon, tearing at his chest with my talons and beating him with my wings. He holds up his hands, trying to ward off the blows, but that is the smallest of his concerns. Neither of us can fly like this and I take advantage of our fall to smash him into the ground. He yells in defeat as I press him into a crater. My roar of triumph drowns out the pathetic cries of the humans and I savor the moment. Blind, animalistic hatred seethes in sheer ecstasy within my mind even as the other looks away in disgust. He is weak, though. Inferior. This is my battle and I have all but destroyed my enemy.

Then I remember something. Kouji. I cease my assault on the Warrior of Flame and look around, seeking the object of my sudden discomfort. He's moved over towards the still glowing but stationary form of Sakakumon, inching his way towards the girl, Zoe. Fresh rage boils within me and I take to the skies again, circling. Beneath me, the Warrior of Flame slides back into his human form, battered but conscious.

"Kouji," he calls, following my gaze as he rolls to his forearms. "Look out!"

Kouji freezes and turns, looking first at the other boy Takuya, then up at me. That same terrified expression glitters in his eyes. He knows my plans, yet for some reason I do not understand, he will not try and stop me. He's trapped.

"Kouichi," he whispers, but I can hear him. I hear his words in my heart. "How could I let this happen? My own brother…"

Are they his words, or mine? A beeping starts and I think it's in my mind until Kouji's expression changes. He reaches deep into his pocket and pulls out a blue and white device. Then, hesitantly, his eyes widening, he replaces it and reaches into his back pocket. A new device, identical to the others but black and grey, emerges. Its screen is flashing a purple symbol as it beeps urgently. Kouji stares at it at first in confusion, but I cannot tolerate the noise. Something about that little box… it's dangerous. I sense that I must destroy it and him. As understanding blooms across Kouji's face I begin to dive.

My talons stretch out in front of me. He looks up, unafraid. I close in. He extends the device towards me, screen out. A beam of pure darkness shoots from the device and strikes me between the eyes. But there's no pain in this attack. Warmth spreads form the point of impact, a gentleness that sooths and comforts me. I slow my decent, and then land a few meters from Kouji. My head drops and I look at him inquisitively. What is this wonderful feeling?

"Onii-san," he says in a low voice only I can hear, still holding the device out like a protective barrio between us. It sounds strange, yet somehow right.

Then I remember-

"K-Kouji," I say in a voice I'd forgotten how to use. It's not like before; the memories are softer now, but the sadness is overwhelming. I understand that boy inside me and I are the same entity, and that this one before me is my younger twin. I remember my life as a human, my mother, my home. I remember that I want to go back. I want to make us a family, but… He won't let me go. I can't get away, no matter how hard I try. I need…

"Help…"

He nods, his face both hardening and softening at the same time.

"I will. I promise."

Kouji lowers the device and raises his other hand at the same time, reaching out towards me. The spell is broken. I lurch back, screaming as all the pain comes flooding back. I have to run, I have to escape. My wings propel me into the air and with a shriek of pure torment I retreat. I need to regain control, I need to be alone.

"Kouich," He yells after me. "Fight it! You have to fight it just a little longer!"

I roar my reply, long and dismal. It's so loud it almost drowns out Kouji's last words. Almost.

"I'm coming for you."

* * *

I didn't even make it to the ground before shifting, pushing the monster back into a cage I hadn't even realized was inside me. For a moment, Duskmon angled through the air, his body aiming for one of the low holes in a porous dome, but that form was still intolerable. Everything, this place, the dark, my own body, it all felt intolerable. Like I was smeared in some sort of noxious grime, covered from head to toe in a filth I couldn't get off. I wanted it gone- I wanted it all gone. I wanted _him_ out of me so desperately it felt like every second he remained in my mind was a violation. So, even though I knew it was stupid, even though I knew it wasn't safe, I pushed the darkness further away.

My almost-human body shot through the hole and landed hard on a ledge within, skidding. I felt the wind leave my chest and, for a moment, all though of darkness went with it. Bittersweet pain flooded every nerve, reminding me of a time I could hardly remember. A time when this human fragility I now savored had turned my stomach. Back when I'd willingly embraced this parasite. Yet now, powerful as it had made me, I struggled with all my being to reject it. I smiled a little at the irony, curling into a ball on my side and waiting for the paralysis to pass. Had I been truly human, I probably would have broken something. Maybe even died, though death didn't sound too bad. Stupidity and sin such as mine deserved punishment of equal or greater severity.

I'd thought such terrible things… _Done_ such terrible things. All in the name of what? Justice? Vengeance? A mother who's suffering consumed my soul or a secret that crushed my heart? Power, hate, apathy? Why had I become this and, better still, how had I allowed it to happen… I didn't know anymore and, really, what did it matter? I was in a pit of my own making and in my selfishness I'd drug others down with me. But I was going to make it right.

With Kouji's help, I would make it all right.

I groaned loudly and rolled to my hands and knees, my eyes squeezed shut as nausea rolled in my stomach and my head floated away. Shivers ran up and down my arms and my muscles tensed with cold. My body felt terrible, about the way I'd expect any body would feel after crashing onto a rock, but my mind was the clearest it'd ever been. There was a power inside me like a little… flame is the wrong word. It was more like a warmth, black as night but soft, gentle yet unyielding. A residue from my encounter with the black D-Tector. I felt wisdom there, kindness long forgotten, and strength. _My_ strength. Not Duskmon's, not something that belonged to the Spirit of Darkness, but a power intrinsic to me. A power I would use to eject the corruption in my soul and courage to bring the pieces of my shattered dreams back together.

Shaking, I stood up, keeping my eyes closed. I didn't want to see with Duskmon's eyes, nor feel with his hands. I wanted my body back. My right hand reached across my chest, clawed fingers hesitating for a moment, then grasping the horn that burst from my left shoulder. Gritting my teeth, I pulled, willing it to yield. Then… it did. My eyes snapped open, irises glittering navy blue. With a horrible sucking, tearing sound and a stab of pain like ice, I felt the horn come away in my hand, bringing shreds of avian flesh with it. I cast it aside without looking at it, throwing it off the ledge on which I stood and ignoring the dull thud when it hit the floor.

Chilled air tickled the freshly exposed human skin, pricking the small hairs there on end. My right hand returned to my shoulder, fingers probing anxiously. I couldn't quite bring myself to look at what was under the dark shell; at least, not yet. The edges of the avian amour were raised and hard, like a thick crust that encircled my entire arm. When I slid my nails under it and pulled, though, it came away easily, ripping like fabric. I peeled it off in strips, working quickly from shoulder to wrist. The newly exposed flesh felt damp and slick, rising into goose bumps almost immediately after meeting the air. In an almost frenzy, I grabbed hold of one oversized, bird-like finger on my left hand and tugged. Fingers cracked and joints protested, but the three-fingered distortion came away like a glove, releasing five, very human fingers into the cold.

Black veins still webbed my skin and the flesh still felt cold as stone but, for the first time since I'd accepted the Spirit of Darkness, the arm was mine. I flexed my fingers, experimentally touching each tip to my palm, then reached up and grasped the metal mask. That, too, had to go. My breath came in short pants though my nose, muffled and claustrophobic, urging my fingers onward. It protested vehemently as I pulled, adhering to my face like it had little hooks buried into my cheeks and fastened behind my ears. _This is what you are now_, it seemed to say. _Don't fight it; embrace it. Return to it._ The coils of darkness reached once more for my heart, trying to entice me back into submission. I shrugged them off, pulling harder at the mask. I could remember my own face, what it looked like and felt like to be me, and I wanted that back.

I wanted to be Kouichi again.

With the high-pitched shriek of twisting metal, the mask released me. I stumbled, slightly shocked, and dropped it. It bounced once, clanging a fatalistic note that resonated through the stone dome, then rolled at my feet. My blue eyes followed it, pleased but somehow unable to smile. I knew what came next and, as much as I yearned to be permanently free, a large part of me feared how I would get there. Shaking off a curse I should never have accepted was an accomplishment, but it would be short lived. My little rebellion undoubtedly had sent ripples of unrest through the darkness and Lord Cherubimon would be here soon. If he wasn't already lurking in the shadows.

I knew my current relief, like my body, was artificial. A construct of my state of mind, not the reality of my physical form. Duskmon was still a part of me, a personality that was still mostly dominant over my own. Lord Cherubimon would emerge soon and like a stone in the ocean I would again be lost in his depravity. The inevitability soiled the moment, but it could not spoil it. As surely as I knew Lord Cherubimon would reclaim my soul for darkness, I knew Kouji would come and save it. He'd promised he would, so it had to be true. I trusted that it was true. Cherubimon could break my body, my will, he could even break my mind, but there was nothing he nor any other force of good or evil could do to break that trust.

Something swirled in the darkness beneath my ledge and my eyes moved to track it, but I did not turn. The cruel and mirthless smile I had learned from Duskmon curled my lips as I recognized the presence emanating from the shadows like a mist.

"You're too late," I said coolly, lifting my head. "Kouji's already on his way and there's nothing you can do to stop him, Cherubimon-sama."

Even as I said the name I hated it. _Sama_, master, an honorific to refer to one's superior. But I couldn't bring myself to call him anything less. Good or evil, right or wrong, as long as I held the Spirits of Darkness, Cherubimon was my master. As long as my heart belonged to the Dark, I was nothing but his servant. My hatred couldn't change that, no matter how desperately I wanted it to.

An unexpected chuckle rumbled in the stone.

"You presume much, Son of Darkness," came a low growl of a voice. It froze in my chest and constricted around my insides, like some kind of serpent made of ice. "I cannot decide whether your arrogance is refreshing or annoying."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I spat back, still refusing to look for him. My goal was simple: hold on long enough for Kouji to arrive. Stop running, stop hiding, and just let him see me. If he could see me, I knew he could save me. Another laugh shook my confidence as the snake coiled inside me.

"Come now, Duskmon. You honestly believe your brother will rid you of the darkness? You think you can just walk away from the Spirit? Even if that were so, even if all you dream came to pass, you would regret it. Not that I intend to simply let you leave."

I saw a tendril of dark like one clawed finger reach over the ledge, but jerked away from it, stepping back and spinning to face him.

"My name," I said firmly. "Is Kimura Kouichi. And I don't belong to you. I don't even belong in this world."

"That's where you're wrong." Red eyes like thin slits of sunset opened before me, narrow and unreadable. "You may have been born in that other world, but your destiny lies here. Your _soul_ is here. In the Dark. With my help, you could become great. Under my guidance, you could rule both worlds…"

"I don't want that. I never did."

"You deceive yourself, Son of Darkness, but I know what is in your heart!" His voice sharpened with sudden rage and I couldn't help but flinch away. "Even now it burns with anger and hatred, feeding the darkness in your soul. That is what you are. _That_ is where you belong."

My gaze dropped, almost defeated, as I exhaled. Claws of shadow reached from beneath the ledge, curving around me like a cage, and this time I made no attempt to evade them. I couldn't deny it, and I wasn't going to pretend that I could. The wrath in my chest twisted and clawed at my heart, distorting the world around me like a broken mirror. Feigning ignorance would only give it more power over my actions. I knew that and so did he. Cherubimon-sama laughed again, a smile coming into his red eyes. There was a sick gentleness to the way he enclosed me, something one could almost call affection in his voice…

"Ah, yes… You know I'm right. You can feel the power inside you and can't help but accept it. Can't help but like it. I understand that sensation Kouichi. There was a time long ago when I was like you: lost, confused, lonely… abandoned."

"I'm not like you," I hissed, but my attempt to sound venomous came out weak and hollow. I couldn't meet his gaze.

"But you are. The proof now lives within you- it _is_ you. Do not think you were simply a convenient host; I offered the Spirit of Darkness to many before you. It rejected them all, consumed them until they were but husks of their former selves. You alone were strong enough- **dark** enough, to wield its power."

"You misunderstand," I said, the slightest bit of force returning to my voice with a chill. My eyes narrowed and my brows knit in budding determination. A faint, ironic smile curved my lips. "There may have been a time when I was like you, when I first came to this world. Maybe even before then. And a part of me may always feel betrayed and angry.

"But that's not who I am now. You turned me into this monster. You've been using me, using my weakness, like a pawn in some greater scheme I can't even begin to imagine. And I want no more part in it. I wish I'd never met you. I wish I'd never come to this world."

"But I am glad to have met you. You're very cruel, Kouichi. It's one of the reasons I like you. Beneath that innocent façade you're as ruthless and heartless as I am. You know who's responsible for that, even if you no longer admit it to yourself."

His fingers were at my back, maybe a meter away from the dark shell that masqueraded as clothing, his thumbs curving around to my chest. As if he planned to smash me between his palms. Red mist seemed to seep from them like breath on a cold day, surrounding me with subtle numbness.

"I've only ever wanted to help you. Trust me, darkness is the only comfort for your pain. Vengeance is the only way to rid yourself of that burden. Vengeance against those that did this to you: your father, that other woman… Kouji. The freedom you so desperately seek can only be found by destroying their lights. Until you accept that, embrace it, your torment will endure."

I tried to step back, but my back met his ice-cold hands and pushed me forward instead. The chill made my limbs uncooperative and unsteady and I stumbled, landing hard on one knee. The pain came from the fact that it didn't hurt…

"Your wrong," I said as firmly as I could. Even as my eyes met his I knew they were fading to red, but I forced myself to confront him anyway. "You're wrong!"

"No I'm not," he cooed softly, tightening his grasp. "You know it and, more importantly, _he _knows it. He's _seen you_, Kouichi."

An old fear tightened in my gut and constricted around my throat.

"What did you think that little outburst would accomplish? Did you think it would change what you are? Did you think it could erase what you've done? If anything you've only given him more reason to hate you. You've betrayed him in the worst possible way, his own brother out to kill him; do you really think he'll forgive you?"

It sounded so unlikely when he said it, so absurd in his voice.

"No," I whispered, my eyes falling to my left hand. Yes, it was human shaped, but the network of budging black veins and shining residue, it looked as fake as anything. As _inhuman_ as anything. "No, I don't expect he'll forgive me. I hope he will, but I don't expect it."

He snorted in laughter and I felt a flare of anger lash out at him.

"But I'm not looking for his forgiveness, am I? He has no reason to accept me as a brother and I'm not brazen enough to ask, I just want to get away from you. All I want is to be myself again and I **know** Kouji will help me do that. He's coming for me and then, he's coming for you. **You can't stop him.**"

A smirk brightened my face as I spat out that last part, breathing heavily through my nose. My voice was calm and matter-of-fact, my gaze hard. The mist seemed to hang in the air, uncertain and unwelcome.

"I remember everything from before and I've seen what his life is really like. He didn't _mean_ for any of this to happen and he certainly never _tried_ to hurt me. He didn't even know I existed; our parents lied to us both. Kouji's not the person you made him out to be and neither am I!"

My body was shaking all over, but I couldn't tell if it was from cold or fury. I knew the Spirit fed on my anger and I knew such feelings would only help him control me in the long run, but I couldn't help myself. I felt strong, stronger than I'd ever been even when the Spirit of Darkness had me fully enthralled. Maybe even strong enough to wield the Spirit in my own right. If I could turn it against Cherubimon, so much the better.

"He's suffered enough. I won't hurt him anymore."

"Your obstinance is very trying," growled Cherubimon, the sweetness leaching from his voice. "Not to mention your total lack of gratitude."

"Gratitude," I said, disbelieving. "You made me fight my own brother and you want me to be grateful?"

"I've made you do nothing," he snapped. I felt the lash of his words in my mind, like a sudden crack to the skull. "Everything has happened according to your desires. You sought power and I granted it, simple as that."

My brow knit in shame and, had I been my human self, I would have flushed. He sensed my receptiveness and the red mist began to pour from his palms once more. It seeped into my body like rain, sucking away my will to fight. In the end, despite my outbursts and protests, the best I could do was resist. I'd let it in and now I couldn't get it out. Not on my own.

"I wanted to make things right," I whispered, more to myself than to him. "I just wanted to make us a family."

"But you were too weak to do so. You say you remember everything, but is that true? Do you remember what they did to you-to your dear mother? Do you remember the pathetic creature you were when I found you? Do you remember your true pain, that debilitating agony that left you so totally alone and defenseless? The crushing sadness and rage that chained your heart? I'm sure you could, if you tried."

_A boy with a long ponytail and a blue jacket runs out the beautiful wood door, tugged along by a happy dog. He laughs and smiles and his joy kills mine. How can he be so happy while I am so sad?_

Sudden pain split my head, a dull throbbing that quickly escalated into a hammering like a thousand pickaxes. I gasped in surprise, hands raising half against my will to cradle my splitting brow. Spikes of cold were being driven into my eyes, powers beyond my comprehension slowly crushing my skull. I grunted and moaned, curling myself into a small, kneeling balls, but the pain was unrelenting.

"_See ya latter!" He swings a book bag over one shoulder, a small grin playing on his lips. His father places a large hand on the other as they walk off. A woman in an apron, short brown hair and glasses, runs a few paces after them. She smiles and waves._

_He lets out a long breath, wiping sweat from his brow with a towel. His arms shine as he walks out into the sun, sword clutched tightly against his chest. Kendo lessons… he has kendo lessons…_

_A woman loosens her shirt and allows it to slip off one shoulder. Her skin is so pale, like moonlight and death in one, and as the harsh fabric falls, angry sores are laid bare. Blisters and bruises and rashes… She flinches when they are touched, trying her best not to let the agony show. It's my job to pretend she's succeeding and patch her up. For what? So she can go out and hurt herself again? So we can keep pretending nothing's wrong? Why, I wonder, do we live like this?_

I knew what he was doing- what he was trying to do. The Darkness controlled me through my emotions, through the secrets I could hardly stand to admit to myself. Because, really, isn't that where Darkness is born? The sadness and anger from those memories had led me down this path… ultimately turned me into this disgusting hybrid. If I felt that again, here and now, with Cherubimon poised to push me back into the abyss, there'd be no turning back. He was using my own mind against me, I knew that.

I had to remember the good with the bad, the new revelations that had saved my soul with the devastations in which I'd lost it. Kouji was coming. I had to hold on, just a little longer. I had to-

"_Look, it's that boy again. The one who looks like Minamoto Kouji."_

"_Why does he keep hanging around here? It's creepy!"_

"_Maybe they're related and he's waiting for Minamoto-san? It wouldn't surprise me; I mean, look at him. He could be his twin…"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, Kouji's an only child. This guys been coming around for however long and Kouji hasn't so much as looked at him. Besides, just look at his cloths and bag, he's gotta be dirt poor. Kouji wouldn't give the time of day to someone worth while, let alone trash like that."_

"_Aki, that's a terrible thing to say! What if he heard you?"_

"_Like I care. The truth hurts and besides, if he ever actually does talk to Kouji, I'm sure he'll hear worse."_

"_This isn't about last Valentines Day again, is it?"_

"_Shut up!"_

"_Aki, you were like the tenth girl to give him chocolates…"_

_I'm in line for the check out and, though I know better, my eyes are drawn to the candies on display there. The last temptations to spend money before the store releases you from its clutches. Dango and mochi and melon cakes all nicely packaged and stacked. A crumpled paper crinkles in my left hand, reminding me that such luxuries are not on the list. Rice, leeks, and the almost bad fish that was on clearance, those are the only things allowed in my little basket. Those are the only things the wad of yen in my pocket can afford._

"_Hey kid." It's my turn. I look up, startled. "You want some?"_

_I look at the cashier, then back to the sweets._

"_No," I lie, placing this week's food before him. "I don't want any. But thank you."_

"Please," I begged to no one. "Please… stop." Worms squirmed in my stomach, nausea tightened my throat. Tears burned in my eyes and my mind felt like it was going to shatter. My heart hurt; I wanted to tear into my own chest and rip it out. I remembered that feeling. I **hated** that feeling.

"_Hey kid, whacha lookin' for?"_

"_You wouldn't by any chance have just a pack of E-strings, would you?"_

"_Acoustic or electric."_

"_Electric for now, but I am saving up for a Taylor."_

"_A Taylor, huh? Your parents must be loaded."_

"_The E-strings?"_

"_Keeps snappin' on ya?"_

"_Yeah. I'm sick of having to go out and buy a new one every week, so I figured I'd just take a day to find a store that sold them in bulk."_

"_Well, search no further, we've got a 20 pack of just E-strings over here. How's your amp system?"_

"_None of your concern, I just want the strings."_

"_Sheesh, I'm sorry if I offended you Mr…"_

"_Minamoto."_

"_Hey Kouichi, wait up! A bunch of us are gonna hit the arcade before cram school, wanna come?"_

"_I'm sorry, I…"_

"_If it's money your worried about, don't. I've been saving up, I can cover you."_

_I flush a deep red and stare even more intently at the pavement._

"_No, I just have to get home is all. My mother-"_

"_Is expecting you. Right."_

_Silence. I turn to go._

"_You know Kouichi, I'm trying but you have to let people in every now and then. If you ever want friends you'll have to start trying too."_

_He sits out on a park bench, arms draped over the back, knees splayed. Slouching. A small smile plays on his face as he thinks about one perfect aspect of his life or another, eyes closed. Maybe he's envisioning the dinner cooked by his new mother, or the toy purchased by his doting father. Maybe he's just enjoying a moment in the sun… a moment that I can't spare. He'll stay here in this little bubble of sunshine while I… It was time for me to return to the shadows. I could think up a lie to tell our real mother on the way._

"So your memory _is_ incomplete; I should have guessed," said Lord Cherubimon darkly. "If you truly remembered how wretched you were, what a sad little human you made, you would not be so eager to return that life. I've never been your jailor, Kouichi. I'm your savior. It was I that freed you from your miserable existence. I gave you power, purpose… happiness."

Something like fire shot down my spine and I yelped, bending closer to the ground. I couldn't think over the pain anymore; his words were the only thing in my mind. They sounded neither true nor false, right nor wrong. They just were. Like the fabric of reality they just were. And, though it was more like the sensation of memory than a memory itself, I remembered what it was like when I'd just accepted his offer. The relief he brought me, the twisted yet wonderful tranquility of not having to feel. Not having to think or remember. The Nothing hadn't hurt or criticized and his commands required no justification.

How easy it had been… How easy it still could be… To be Duskmon.

"That's right, Kouichi. That's good. Right now you're confused, but I can fix that. I know you as no one else can. I alone understand you, I alone care about you, and I alone can help you. Heed my words, obey me… and hate everything else. Give yourself once more to Darkness and return to my side."

As he spoke the pain faded, submitting to his words. I felt my mind lean against his, old temptations gnaw at my resolve.

"I sense your desires because they are the same as mine. Trust me, Kouichi, in it's purest form what you want is power, the power only I can give you. It is only though this power that you will find justice. Only shadows can bring you happiness. You've barely tasted a fraction of the true power of darkness. I can give you more; I can give you everything you've ever wanted. All you have to do… is destroy the light."

"I don't want to fight anymore," I breathed, looking up at him. He smiled down at me, his white fangs glinting in the half-light. The red mist poured from his chest now, surrounding me on all sides. I could feel it taking effect, like some kind of drug, hazing my thoughts and bending my will. It was so hard to stay awake…

"I don't know if I _can_ fight anymore. I don't understand what you want me to do."

"Simple: Kill Kouji."

"Kill Kouji?"

He nodded, still smiling. My gaze fell and I stared at my left hand. It felt strange, tingling and throbbing. The mist made it hard to think or feel anything beyond what he suggested and the longer I was exposed to it, the more sluggish I felt. But I remembered Kouji, beyond what Lord Cherubimon wanted. I remembered what he'd shown me, what I'd seen in his mind. The images were blurred, the sounds mere echoes, but what I'd seen there was Truth. It was the other side of Light.

"_Back in the human world," he was saying reluctantly. "I used to get this feeling sometimes. Like I was being followed by someone I could never see or hear. I just knew he was there, watching me from somewhere close by. I miss that feeling."_

"_You miss being stalked?" The other boy, Takuya, looked confused and a little disturbed. Kouji ignored him. His eyes were distant, contemplating._

"_It wasn't stalking. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty sure I was being followed, but I was never worried or anything. It's more like… there's someone who wants to get to know me, but isn't sure how. Like there's someone out there who cares about me, without even knowing me."_

_He misses me too._

"I will not."

Cherubimon gasped audibly, pulling away from me for just a moment. As if I'd struck him.

"Kouji's right, I do care about him. I don't want to kill him; I want to know him. I want us to be a family and I understand now that he wants the same thing. He wants to meet me and I think I'm ready to let him."

"**You're a fool!"**

The pain returned full force and I couldn't help but scream, curling back into a ball in a futile attempt to block it out. Yet in his haste to unleash the pain, he let the shroud slip and my mind cleared.

"Do what you want with me," I said through gritted teeth. "Torture me, brainwash me, force me to remember or forget at your leisure. You can never change the _fact_ that Kouji and I are _brothers!_ I can't kill him. **I won't!**"

"We'll see how long your determination lasts once you're once again overwhelmed by the Spirits of Darkness. You'll destroy the light, you'll kill Kouji, and then you'll understand. You'll see your soul belongs to the Darkness."

My hand felt like it was suddenly in a bucket of ice, drawing my attention. The wound on my palm, the hurt from my first hours in the Digital World, stood out against my pale skin. It was an angry red, but bloodless gash, puckered edges grotesquely swollen and obvious. Something beneath it, inside me, was… moving. I held it before my face in utter disbelief. Black avian skin crawled from the gash, working its way across my palm and towards my fingers and wrist.

"No," I breathed as four fingers knit into two and talons burst from their end. **"NO!"**

My right hand shot up to my mouth, trying desperately to preempt the mask I knew would appear there, but already the skin felt cold in metallic. He'd switched tactics, given up on subtlety and chosen a more direct route. One I couldn't fight. While I rejected the Spirit, it was far from rejecting me. It wanted me back; I could feel it. And now, fueled by Lord Cherubimon's power, it would get its wish.

"Please, please don't do this! Don't make me do this, I beg you!"

Everything inside me felt cold and wrong as my body both rejected and embraced the changes the Spirit caused. I felt my mind detach from it all, separate itself entirely for the first time as my body twisted into something unrecognizable.

"It's for your own good," Lord Cherubimon hissed, his voice fading to a place far away. "I will free you from this parasitic humanity, Duskmon. I will put your heart at ease and make your duty simple. You will have everything I promised; you _will_ fulfill your destiny."

"**Stop it!"**

Bird-flesh crawled up my arm and Velgamon's tusk burst from my shoulder. I cried out, my right hand flinching towards the new wound, and the metal mask took the opportunity to cover my nose and mouth. I choked, arching my back and staring up towards the ceiling with black and red eyes.

'_Kouji_,' I thought as my vision faded to red mist. _'Hurry.'_


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Yay! Last chapter! And an epilogue about 70% finished! However many years later, we're almost done! I've known how this was going to end since I stated it, but actually writing it all down proved… difficult. Partly because writing's hard, partly because getting into the state of relaxation in which I **_**can **_**write is hard, and partly because I've had next to no free time. School, then work, then more school and work, then summer research, then graduate school shopping/ job hunting. Man, I'll tell ya, the real world's a tough place! I might even compare it to driving on the wrong side of the road. But enough of that; you're hear to read the epic conclusion of Destiny, not listen to me deliver a woeful rant. Thanks for reading and hope it was worth the wait!**

**Disclaimer: Man, how long has it been since I've written one of these, pointing out that I own nothing and am making no profits? A year? More?**

* * *

Every family has issues, all siblings fight, yada yada yada. I used to hear people complain about it all the time, classmates mostly, and I used to think, 'what a bunch of whiners.' At least they had a family, right? Me, I had an ice-cold dad and a woman who was trying way too hard to be my mom. And a dog. I never thought I had or could have much of a family to complain about, and because of that, I found myself hating those who did. I hated them for not appreciating what I secretly wanted. But then, out of no where, Kouichi came along and I gained a certain… unique perspective on the whole sibling thing. In retrospect, after saving the Digital World, I think I gained a "certain unique perspective" on just about everything. Become a better person. Which is actually kind of funny if you think about the ego I started out with…

"Digital World" aside, if you'd told me I was going to find _friends, _let alone my long lost twin brother, I'd have called you crazy. Add to that the whole trusting people with my life and learning my dead mother was alive, and I'd have had you outright committed. It's just so ridiculously improbable… A place composed entirely of data in which my new friends and I saved the brother I didn't know I had and the world from the clutches of evil. Honestly some days it still sounds like a dream.

I was never one to believe in crazy stories like that. I never believed in fairy tales or ghosts or anything really. I didn't believe in people- I couldn't. If my own mother could leave me, how could I expect anyone else to stay? How could I _trust_ anyone to stay? I was kind of a cynical kid, but I know better now. My mom didn't want to leave me; she had to. That was part of a deal neither she nor my dad could refuse. And I know my dad and stepmom love me and want me to be happy… they just wanted to be happy too. I learned a lot about compassion in the Digital World, most of it from Kouichi. But back then that's just the way things were. You lived, you fought, and you died. There was nothing in between, no rhyme or reason to it. I didn't believe in stupid things like destiny.

That's the big thing that changed, I think. Everything else just sort of came from that- from the realization that at least some of it did have a meaning. I never believed in destiny because I never liked the idea that any kind of decision was being made for me. Still don't, but like Kouichi says, it's not so much that some ambiguous force of destiny makes choices for you. It's more like the road under your feet; a line from point A to B that you walk in whatever way you see fit. You could walk, you could run, hell, you could prance down it in a tutu. There are certain things you're going to encounter at some point in your life and you have to deal with them in your own way. That's how I see it.

That's how I need to see it. Destiny's the only way I can understand what happened on the Dark Continent. After everything Kouichi did as Duskmon… everything I did. After learning about his life, that I had a twin at all and he'd been living with our mother. After seeing what Cherubimon did to him, to _my brother_, the way he used him... The only way I can make sense of any of it- the only way I can justify it, is destiny. We might have been twins, but I don't think either Kouichi or I was ready to have a brother before the Digital World. I certainly wasn't. If he'd come to me before Duskmon I don't think I could have handled it. I don't think I could have accepted both him and my stepmother the way I needed to. And to be perfectly frank, I don't know if Kouichi could have accepted me. He hated me, or at least what I represented, as much as I hated my parents. Maybe more, but I prefer not to think about it too much. I try to focus on what we have in common… try to understand how any of it could have happened. Feelings like that don't just go away; they have to be confronted and resolved. And it sucks. So we had to meet the way we did, we had to fight in order to change. We had to grow up.

The idea that Duskmon was our destiny doesn't make it all right, but at least it explains why things happened the way they did. It helps me come to terms with what we did to each other… and what we didn't do. And really, it's the only way I can explain certain aspects that, in retrospect, just seem too convenient.

For example: my finding Kouichi's D-Tector on that first day and holding onto it that whole time we were apart. He's asked me a hundred times how I knew to pick it up. Why I kept it. And a hundred times I've had to tell him I just don't know. It was my first day in the new world; I was excited, confused, and more than a little concerned. Of course I wasn't going to let it show, but my heart was going a mile a minute and, although I took in every sight and smell and detail, none of them really seemed particularly important. Mostly I was just amazed; I didn't know where I was or what I was doing, but it was amazing. If I hadn't had that map my D-Tector spontaneously generated, I don't think I would have found the Spirit of Light, much less the friends that came with it. Despite my best efforts to remain alert and focused, those first few hours went by in a blur.

Yet for some reason I can't explain, that little black D-Tector on the ground caught my eye. It was after my first battle as Lobomon and I was anxious to walk away from Takuya and the others as "coolly" as possible, but I stopped to pick that thing up. And even though it was really kind of redundant since I already had one, I put it in my pocket anyway before continuing to shun the others. Even though I had zero reason to do so, I sat on the little thing for what seemed like months. All I can say is it seemed like a good idea at the time- it seemed _right._ Somehow, somewhere, something had determined that, at that moment, instead of looking up and seeing my brother dangling from the ceiling, I should take his D-Tector. Something bigger than me was setting us up. To this day, I'm not really sure how I feel about that… Moot point though; that's what happened and I can't change it.

At first the thing was sort of interesting. It was just like mine but somehow all-wrong. It _felt_ wrong in my hand, but not. Like its insides were different. Every now and then it used to light up and beep at me, for no apparent reason. Looking back, I think those were the times Kouichi was close to me… or the times he was in trouble… Then one day it stopped, like its batteries died or something. Whatever the thing had been calling for or talking about (I guessed) was out of its reach. That made me a little sad, though I couldn't understand why. Usually I just throw things away when they stop working (everything's replaceable, right?), and the lack of beeping clearly indicated that it was no longer working. The D-Tector was never mine to begin with, just some oddity I'd picked up on an uncharacteristic impulse. And it made an annoying bulge in my pocket. Yet for whatever reason, I felt connected to it. I knew I should, but I couldn't bright myself to throw it away. I liked having it… knowing it was close. So I resigned myself to its presence in my pocket, just more dead weight I had to carry, and moved on. Without any logical rational I could or can explain. Like I said, destiny.

I sort of forgot about it after that, to be honest. It was something I carried, like a pen or sunglasses, that's just always there. And then it was like it wasn't there at all, like it didn't exist. I stopped looking at it, stopped thinking about it. Even when we entered the Dark Continent and were getting periodically attacked by my brother it still didn't cross my mind. Not even once. The others didn't even know I was carrying an extra D-Tector around and it never occurred to me that it might be important enough to tell them. That maybe they'd seen that black box before and knew who it truly belonged to. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had, if we'd gone looking for Kouichi. Could we have used his D-Tector to find him before Cherubimon had a chance to turn him into a monster? Could we have saved him before he was Duskmon? Were we supposed to? I know it's pointless to think about, but whenever I remember that time, those are the first things that come to mind. The answers don't matter.

It wasn't until I saw him- really _saw him_, that his D-Tector reentered my consciousness. I'd known for a while that there was something going on between Duskmon and me, that we had some kind of attraction beyond just Light and Darkness. It's hard to explain, but from the moment I first crossed swords with him, from the moment he _didn't_ kill me, I knew he was important to me. When I lost my mom I vowed never to let anyone get that close ever again, and yet here was this Digimon, the Warrior of Darkness no less, causing all kinds of emotions to explode inside of me. I was terrified and fascinated and angry all at the same time. He hunted me and I sought him out… or maybe it was the other way around. Slowly, I started to put the pieces together. I saw flashes of someone behind the Digimon and I knew he was human before he did, and yet still the D-Tector didn't factor in.

Then, like some kind of earthquake, everything fell together into a jumbled heap in front of me. There was yelling and screaming and suddenly there he was. Underneath all that hatred and corruption, beneath the weight of Cherubimon's control and the Spirit of Darkness's influence, I saw Kouichi. Everybody was talking, but they were all saying weird things. Things I couldn't understand. I felt all the blame and guilt and I didn't know why. Why was this happening to me? Maybe I said something, but I don't remember. I watched Cherubimon jerk him around like a doll and I felt each tug as if I was the one on strings. And I watched him fight it, watched his will rise up to resist the distortions that had become his reality. I could see his raw pain, the loneliness that drove him into the shadows, like some kind of oppressive cloud. And when he looked at me with the same eyes I saw every time I looked at our mother's picture, I felt the entirety of human suffering crash onto me.

I don't know if it was newfound empathy or compassion or twin ESP, but when our eyes met I heard him calling out to me. I could hear him in my mind- or maybe I was in his mind? Frankly I don't know what happened there. It was like a curtain had been dropped around the rest of the world, isolating us on a stage set for two. Yet the exchange that occurred on that stage felt more real than anything that had happened. I can't say I know what was going on inside Kouichi's head in that moment; hell, I don't know what was going on in my head. All I can say for sure is that something passed between us, something nobody else felt or could have felt. Like one of those moments when you look at someone and finally see them for what they mean to you. I "told" him I didn't care what Spirits he possessed or what he'd done or wanted to do, I just wanted to know him. I resolved to save him, and without saying anything I made a promise… a promise I knew he understood.

That was when he told me, flat out and in no uncertain terms, what had been going on. This whole time, even before I'd gone to the Digital World, I'd had a twin brother who'd just waned to meet me. Yet somehow, I found I already knew that. I guess I could compare it to solving a really hard math problem. When you really get the answer and you understand what it means, there's a moment of "obviously." You wonder why it was so hard and you stop questioning whether or not it makes sense. Suddenly, everything made perfect sense: whatever form he was in, that was my brother and I had to protect him from harm. Nothing else mattered.

Time sped up after that, as if someone had put my life on fast forward and it was all I could do to keep up. Kouichi's screams were like hot oil in my ears, burning all the more potently now that I knew the truth. Something inside me snapped into place and I lurched forward. Takuya caught me by the arm, holding me back for reasons I understood rationally. But emotionally it felt like a betrayal. Cherubimon laughed, reaching towards my brother. I strained against Takuya, desperation building in my chest. Kouichi's will was faltering, I could feel it. His cloths faded back into Duskmon's armor, his body twisted into a mockery of itself. Bird-like scales pushed through the pale skin of his left arm and a metal mask gagged him. Our mother's eyes became red and unrecognizable. He was being taken over again and I- I couldn't do anything about it. In a flash of periwinkle light my twin was gone. A massive skeletal bird burst out of the darkness and the sight of it made me want to throw up.

My thoughts were whirling, chaotic, my actions driven by a force long past rationality. As Kouichi's humanity was submerged I found my sensibilities went with him. I both understood that what faced me now was no longer human by any stretch of the word and didn't. I recognized the monster, a creature twisted by evil and hell-bent on killing me. Not defeating me, not sending me back to the Digital Nursery, killing me. Erasing me. At the same time I couldn't comprehend what had happened- couldn't process the sudden and unexpected truth. I looked at Velgamon, and I saw my twin. More clearly than I saw the beast, I saw Kouichi curled in a dark corner, hurting. Wanting desperately to stop but unable to do so. The contradiction simultaneously paralyzed my reason and excited my instinct.

Apparently I refused to defend myself against Velgamon's attacks and apparently I hit J.P. when he tried to Spirit Evolve. I don't actually remember it that way. It's funny, but even though I have no idea what_ I_ was doing or saying or feeling in those moments, I could tell you every detail of Velgamon's movements. I could pick out the pitch of his screams on a piano and model his brutality to the last flick of the tail. But if you want to know how I happened to pull that little black D-Tector out of my pocket at the moment of his final attack, or how I knew it was going to bring Kouichi back to the surface, you'd be disappointed by the story. It just happened and I just knew. Instinct. Destiny.

"Onii-san," I breathed. The word tasted foreign and familiar at the same time. I felt a warm ache rise in my throat and did my best to swallow it. Time was passing in compression waves and, for a moment, eternity suspended into an instant between us.

"K-Kouji," he responded in a gruff distortion of his human voice. The sorrow was palpable in the dark pits that served as his eyes. "Help…"

"I will. I promise."

I felt the sudden, irresistible need to be near him. Whatever his form or his alliance, I had to be close to him. I had to grab him, wrap my arms around him like a suit of armor. I had to kill the sickness inside him. So I dropped the D-Tector, the barrier that held the corruption at bay, and reached out to him. Seemed like the right thing to do, I guess. But it wasn't. Kouichi reeled away, seemingly unable to maintain to connection without the D-Tector's assistance. Unable to master the urge to attack again. He was running because he didn't want to hurt me, and that knowledge burned white-hot in my chest.

"Kouich," I screamed, taking a few steps after him. "Fight it! You have to fight it just a little longer! …I'm coming for you."

* * *

The next thing I knew Takuya was by my side, gripping my arm tightly above the elbow. He was talking, but the sound of his voice, much less the meaning of his words, was distant and alien. My ears were ringing with Kouichi's plea and there was an ache in my chest I couldn't describe. Instant and unconditional love, I guess. I'd never imagined having a brother and was unprepared for the emotional turmoil that accompanied it. He'd just attacked me, again, with the intent to destroy me. My own brother was trying to kill me, yet I couldn't bring myself to see Kouichi as an enemy, no matter his form. Yes, the intent was there, but the will behind it was not his, and that fact alone exempt him from any guilt in my eyes. Which left me in the sickeningly cliché position of needing to hurt him to save him… which was so much worse than any pain I thought I'd experienced up until that point. I had no idea how I was supposed to channel these newfound protective instincts against the beast inside my brother without betraying him again. I didn't know how to react to anything that had happened since that first time Duskmon and I crossed swords.

As the adrenaline of our inevitable meeting wore off, the harshness of reality defeated me. I stopped straining against Takuya's grip and let his voice find my ears. The others had joined us, including a small, smiley, yellow thing Bokomon kept referring to as Pattamon.

"…You're really lucky we were there, you know that," Takuya chastised, giving me a firm shake. "If you need time to think, then think, but you can't go freezing up like that! You've gotta be prepared!"

"Takuya," I said in a soft voice, blinking at him uncomprehendingly. Never before had I felt so much a child. "What should I do? What do _brothers_ do? I was raised alone, I don't know…"

It may have been the first time in his life that Kanabara Takuya was ever speechless. He let go of my arm and turned to face me full on, staring like he didn't know me. Can't say I blame him.

"Well," he started awkwardly. "Usually my brother bugs me and tries to hang out with me and my friends, but I don't let him 'cause he's such a little brat. And when we do hang out I usually end up making him cry... but..." He sobered up suddenly and his brown eyes locked onto mine. There was no smile on his face or joke in his voice. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my little brother."

"Hey guys," Tommy interjected, nursing a scrapped elbow. "I have a brother too. He's in college, so I don't see him much, and when I did see him I used to think he was really mean. But I've realized he was just trying to help me, you know, to be less selfish. He wanted to prepare me for the world and I'm really glad he said those things, even if they hurt me at the time."

"I definitely don't have a brother," added J.P., smiling weakly. "But I was with Kouichi just before he disappeared and I know he never wanted this to happen. I know he doesn't want to be like that. We have to go after him, we have to get those Spirits away from him."

"You mean to fight him again." It was a statement, not a question.

"It's what he wants us to do! Look, I respect your privacy and under normal circumstances I'd rather keep my nose outta all this. But this isn't just about your feelings and we can't pretend that it is!"

"Kouji, we understand this is a lot to process," said Zoe compassionately, placing a restraining hand on J.P.'s forearm as she spoke. She was covered in dark dust and her hat was just a little askew from the battle. "I can't even imagine what you're going through right now. But J.P.'s right. This thing that's inside him, the Spirits of Darkness, is hurting him more than we ever could. I've _seen it_, Kouji, I watched him fight it off then listened to him scream as it took him back. He was in trouble even when we first met him and I _knew it_. I knew it and did nothing and I'm sorry. Now the only thing we can do it take the Spirits. And that means we're going to have to beat him and we can't **do** that without you."

"You are asking me," I cut in, my voice icy cold. "To fight my brother. You're asking me to attack him, to hurt him, _knowing_ he can't control himself. _Knowing_ it's not his fault."

"If it means saving him," snapped Takuya.

"If I may interject," said Bokomon. "I can't claim to know much about human siblings, but there may be things I can tell you about Kouichi's predicament. Before the serpent Digimon Nabikasumon took him, I'm ashamed to say I watched the boy begin the change."

"Change," asked Takuya, frowning. "So you saw him Spirit Evolution? Like what we do?"

"No, my dear boy, I mean _change_," clarified Bokomon, shaking his head. "There is no doubt that Kouichi, like you, was Chosen by the Spirits of the Ten Legendary Warriors; however, unlike you, who maintain a separate self from the Spirit, Kouichi has merged with it physically and emotionally."

"I don't understand," said Tommy in a small voice.

"Surly you've noticed Kouichi's human form resembles the Spirits of Darkness as much as the boy you met. Whereas you all are separated from your Spirits by you D-Tectors, the same can be said for his mental state."

"You mean he can't control his Spirits," asked J.P. "Like when Takuya first got his Beast Spirit and attacked us?"

"I am never gonna live that down, am I?"

"Worse. That was just a simple lapse in focus on Takuya's part. Kouichi was and is sensitive to Darkness, especially Corrupted Darkness. The first time I met him he asked me if the dark mist surrounding a group of Mushroomon was Cherubimon's influence."

"Dark mist," J.P. sputtered in confusion. "We are talking about the Mushroomon in Breezy Village, right? There was no dark mist around the Mushroommon."

"Not that you or I could see," corrected Bokomon. "But Kouichi could see it and, more importantly I suppose, it saw him. It saw some painful secret inside him and latched onto it. Now I see Cherubimon was exploiting his fear and confusion, using it to convince the dear boy to join with the Spirits of Darkness. Now he has no choice in the manner; the Spirits control him. I don't know how extensive that control is or how much of it is linked to possession by the Spirits, but I'm sorry to say your friends are right, Kouji. The only thing you can do to help Kouichi right now is get him away from the Darkness, which can only be done by stripping him of the Spirits' power."

I looked away, sighing heavily and shaking my head. "This is all so messed up," I muttered. Takuya pursed his lips and made a face, raising one hand as if to pat me on the shoulder, but reconsidering half way through and dropping it back to his side. The others just looked… awkward. Fortunately, or maybe not, the silence didn't last long. Some eerie light illuminated the sky behind us, accompanied by pompous laughter like some sort of thunder and lightning parody.

"Oh woeful day," exclaimed a deep voice in a tone that suggested more glee than woe. "Oh woeful, wonderful hour! So this is the great mystery! So here is the solution to all my riddles! Twin brothers separated at birth, one to Light and the other to Darkness, trapped in the eternal battle of Night and Day. I must confess, this is an outcome I did not foresee."

Somewhere in the part of my brain that wasn't in chaos, I berated myself for being so careless. We may have escaped Sakkakumon, but we had not defeated him. Ever the conspiracy theorist, he must've hidden himself away to observe the drama in secret. A giant collection of glowing green orbs with red eyes had managed to sneak up on us… _Damn,_ I thought. _I'm a moron. I'm such a moron._

"What do you want," shot J.P. cockily, not quite realizing to whom he spoke before the words left his mouth. I say this because he turned and let out an audible squeak when he saw the collection of glowing orbs… and the red, voluptuous mouth. Truth be told, I shuddered myself when I saw that. It made my stomach turn, or maybe it was the words coming out of it that disgusted me.

"Why, what do all great minds desire? What do all superior beings require? Power. Dominance. Omnipotence. And now I can obtain the position I have always deserved. I can dispatch of my greatest inconvenience: Cherubimon himself. I am ever in thy debt for this grand opportunity."

"I thought you worked for Cherubimon," said Tommy, confused.

"Only for as long as it suited my purposes. In truth, I thought to make my move sooner; however, the enigma of Duskmon prevented me. Such a powerful entity, perhaps even stronger than I, and so unyieldingly loyal to the lesser Lord. I should thank thee for revealing that great plot as well. I thought him the most trusted of servants; now I understand he is merely a favorite pet. A pet that has been given too much liberty. A pet that can be retrained given the proper… incentives."

"What exactly are you insinuating," I growled. Sakkakumon's huge, voluptuous mouth grinned at me, and I felt something cold slide into my stomach. "Just what are you planning to do to my brother!"

"Simple terms for simple minds. Inferior as Cherubimon is, his plan retains ironic merit: take a human, a "savior" of the Digital World, and use him to do the tasks too menial for his lord. Once I have stripped ye pathetic humans of thine Spirits, I shall use them to repurpose Cherubimon's lapdog. Verily, he shall serve me with as much blind loyalty as he ever did that buffoon. If he proves unresponsive… well, then the brothers shall be reunited in the afterlife!"

For the third time that hour, Takuya had to restrain me. He grabbed the back of my shirt as I lunged at Sakkakumon, rage overriding my sense of self-preservation, and pulled me back with such force I choked. For a moment he looked like he was going to hit me too, but instead he placed one hand on my chest and shoved me behind him, in the same direction Velgamon had flown.

"Go after your brother," he said in a low, uncharacteristically mature tone. He shot a look at the others and, as a unit, they Spirit Evolved. I understood what they planned to do, what the objective was, and out of habit and necessity, I did the same. But as Beowolfmon emerged from the periwinkle swirl of data, Aldamon held up a hand to stop me. "I mean it. If you really believe that's you twin then you have to go after him. You have to help him! We've got this."

"But I-" I wanted to believe that my concern was for my friends' safety, that I was worried they'd need my help. The truth, however, was that I was much more certain of their abilities than my own. I knew they'd be able to defeat Sakkakumon, one way or another, but I didn't trust myself to do what needed to be done with Duskmon. Especially if I had to do it alone… Takuya felt my hesitation, my weakness.

"Come on Kouji, pull yourself together and move it! Every minute you spend here feeling sorry for yourself is a minute Cherubimon has to twist Kouichi back into that monster! You're the only chance he has, Kouji; if his own brother won't save him then who will?!"

The words hit me like a bucket of cold water: horribly, painfully motivating. I took a step backwards. Then another, timid and uncertain. My eyes flicked from Aldamon's stone serious face to coiling hulk of Sakkakumon to the Legendary Warriors as they prepared to fight. It was epic, really, like something out of a movie. Then with a nod, I turned, and I ran.

* * *

When you run, there comes a point where your body thinks it's going to die, but figures if you're running, there's a damn good reason for it. A flood of chemicals comes to your rescue: adrenaline, epinephrine, all sorts of endorphins. Your ankles sprout wings and, assuming you're not actually in a life or death situation, you finish the day feeling pretty good. The so called "runner's high" is common, addictive, and an effective way for angsty preteen boys to get away from overbearing fathers and over enthusiastic step mothers. So I'd done a lot of running… a _lot_ of running. But I'd never run like I did that day.

My feet slapped the ground like thunder, clawed toes digging into the stone and sending a spraying of pebbles in my wake. I gasped for air, my lungs on fire and muscles cramping angrily. I tripped and slid and yelled, scampering across boulders and through canyons, driven by fear, anger, and some ache in my soul. There was a hole there -had _been_ a hole there my entire life, and for one brief, wonderfully awful moment when I'd stood face to face with my brother, it had been filled. Now, the effort of running pushing everything else from my mind, that hole consumed me. Yeah, I was terrified of facing my twin, of fighting him, but I'd been whole once. I couldn't stand not being so again. As that powerful, desperate **need** coursed through me like no runner's high ever had or would, I understood what insanity had driven Kouichi into Cherubimon's waiting arms. And I hated that twisted, monster rabbit all the more for taking advantage of him.

"**You're a fool!"** I froze, my suddenly stiff body skidding across the bleak grey ground. My neck snapped towards the sound, eyes locating a cluster of hollow stone structures like ice-cream cones maybe a hundred meters to my right. It astounded me that I'd almost run past it; the things were at least five stories high, some taller than others, with paths and arching holes coiling up their sides. The scream that followed pulled all my attention to one in the front row… and made my blood run cold. Horror coiled its tentacles around my chest as I pushed forward, leaden limbs moving as if through tar. My ears caught the tail end of a conversation I could only assume had been going on since Cherubimon had first enlisted my brother.

"Do what you want with me! Torture me, brainwash me, force me to remember or forget at your leisure. You can never change the _fact_ that Kouji and I are _brothers!_ I can't kill him. **I won't!**"

My mind was a swirl of emotion so complex and irregular they made me feel sick. Or maybe I was sick because of what came next.

"We'll see how long your determination lasts once you're once again overwhelmed by the Spirits of Darkness. You'll destroy the light, you'll kill Kouji, and then you'll understand. You'll see your soul belongs to the Darkness."

"No… **NO!** Please, please don't do this! Don't make me do this, I beg you!"

"It's for your own good. I will free you from this parasitic humanity, Duskmon. I will put your heart at ease and make your duty simple. You will have everything I promised; you _will_ fulfill your destiny."

"**Stop it!"**

I burst through the arched opening on the lower level just in time to see a small, dark ball on the second level come up onto his knees. Red mist pulsed around him and through him, though I couldn't tell if it was being expelled from his body, or trying to get into it. His hands were held out in front of him, as if in shock and I caught a glint of eyes before they went dark. A metal mask covered his face, but I could see past it. In some sort of weird mirage, I saw my brother kneeling on the ground, hands balled into fists by his sides. Above him, the shadow of Cherubimon grinned, red slits crinkling and mouth stretched into a noiseless laughed. My eyes shifted up to him, glaring with as much pure revulsion as I could muster, readying my sword. At that, he did laugh.

"Now Duskmon," he cooed in a low voice, withdrawing into a cloud of smoke. "Make me proud." The red mist sunk into the small, dark form and he allowed himself to fall backwards, starting a headfirst plummet towards the ground.

"Kouichi," I yelled, starting towards him. If I moved fast enough, I could catch him- I knew I could. But before I could take a step he did a nimble flip and landed agilely on his feet, absorbing the impact the way no human could. Duskmon looked at me with black and carmine eyes… and my blood froze in my veins. Scaled left arm started with three avian talons and ended in a Velgamon-like tusk. Red, armored ribs the color of his eyes lined his waist and ribs, a strip of armor protecting the more human right arm. His pants and shoes were monochrome parodies of the one's I'd seen Kouichi ware and the look he gave me was deader than a corps.

I slid back into my human form, hoping my face and voice could reach him. Praying there was still some of him there to be reached. If seeing me did anything, he didn't show it. His body was posed in mock relaxation, hands by his sides, head lulled off to the left, eyes wide and unblinking. I'd seen this before, stared into those unrecognizable eyes and crossed swords with this distorted body. And just as before, it unnerved me… scared me. But this time the fear wasn't for myself: it was for the boy trapped inside. The brother I'd discovered too late.

"Kouichi," I tried again, gently this time. No reaction. "Kouichi, please. Please say something- do something!" My voice broke with feelings I didn't really understand and couldn't control. His head straightened and coils of black mist coalesced into wavy, crimson blades in his hands.

"Nii-san!" Tears burned my eyes. The thing that possessed my brother's body hesitated only for an instant, then he lunged. It didn't occur to me that he meant it until I sensed the imminent impact of steel into flesh. Years of kendo training pulled me to the side at the last second. The blade stabbed into the air where I'd been standing, catching my jacket and tearing it. It might've hurt less if he'd actually cut me. Duskmon followed his blade as if in slow motion. As he passed his eyes slid to mine, a single tear breaking free and rolling down his face into his metal mask. For an instant I saw my brother flash inside the monster, face pale and serious, communicating more with his navy eyes than most poets could hope to accomplish in a lifetime of words.

_Kouji_ I heard his voice in my head. _I don't want to be like this. Promise you won't leave me be like this._

Something snapped inside me. I felt the most powerful conglomeration of pain, fear, and rage surge to the surface of my psyche and push me into action. Takuya was right- hell, they were all right. There was nothing I could do to my brother that was any worse than what Cherubimon had done to him. To what he was **still** doing to him. If someone shot him I'd remove the bullet. If sickness pushed a fever so hot it threatened to cook him, I'd do whatever it took to cool him down. This was no different. I'd have to be strong, but I could do that. For my brother, I could do anything.

I leapt back, rolling once into a crouch. Duskmon stumbled, his movements sluggish and clumsy, then turned to face me again. "Kouichi," I breathed. The monster in my brother's skin straightened, readying his blades for another thrust. "I'm going to set you free. Even if it kills me, I'm going to save you." He swung the sword in his right hand at me in a mechanical downward cut completely unlike what I'd seen from him before. _That's because it's not him_ I reminded myself silently, shooting down and past the blade and rolling to my feet behind him. _It's the parasite inside him._ I pulled out my D-Tector, cold determination spreading through my limbs.

"Execute," I said, summoning the periwinkle band of data around my hand and pressing it to the head of the device. "Fusion Evolution!"

"Execute," Duskmon echoed like an empty crevice. "Beast Spirit Evolution."

The change was appropriate. Before Beowolfmon had fully formed Velgemon was on top of me, talons cuffing me around the head. But this arena was enclosed; I had the advantage. Velgemon's wingspan forced him to stay low, in range of my blade. I leapt into the air, extending my arm to its fullest and swinging at his legs. His movements were more fluid in this form and he tucked them to his torso, out of range. Not fast enough, though. I clipped his inside toe, causing him to veer off towards the wall. He let out a shriek of fury, pulling in his winds out of necessity and landing.

Huge taloned feet made deep gashes in the stone floor as he tried to hop around in the restricted space. A bat or pterodactyl would've been able to come forward onto vestigial fingers and crawl, but Velgemon was too bird-like. No matter how low he crouched, his movement was restricted. Another shriek of frustration shook small pebbles from the ceiling and the third eye on his brow glowed red.

"Dark Vortex," screamed a voice that was barely still human. A helical beam of red and purple energy shot my way and I dodged it easily.

"Cleansing Light," I retorted, readying the cannon on my left arm and taking careful aim and launching two white-laser guided missiles in his direction. The good news was they hit him. The bad news was they didn't stop with Velgemon. He took the attack full in the chest and it blasted him out the back wall. _Stupid_ I chastised myself as stone groaned, then began to rain down around me. I dove out the nearest arching exit, just barely clearing it before the entire structure collapsed.

Velgemon took to the skies before the dust settled, shrieking in what could only be described as joy at the destruction. I'd set him loose. For some reason though, he stayed low, circling me. I got to my feet slowly, my gaze wary as he tightened the circle. Then he rotated, letting one long feather carve a ring into the earth.

"Dark Obliteration," he hissed. Realizing what he was doing I shot to my feet, throwing myself out of the ring just as a black shell began to erupt into a dome. It glowed red-hot, then exploded, throwing me even further from the fight. Velgemon took the opportunity to land on a chunk of rubble. Able to swivel his head and aim properly now, he pointed the glowing third eye right at my prone form. "Dark Vortex."

"Beo Saber!" I rolled to my back and pulled my blade up just in time. The impact pushed me deeper into the dirt, but I managed to reflect most of the attack, I angled the blade, trying to shoot the mutant bird's attack back at him. To my surprise, I grazed the side of his face. Even more surprising was the fact that, as I scrabbled to my feet and turned to face him, he didn't fly away. Velgemon's body had gone stone still, wings clamped tightly to his sides as if held there by invisible chains. As I stared, a mirage flashed inside the Digimon.

Kouichi.

My teeth ground together as I observed his faint image, his tiny frame, his pale skin. A steel resolve forged by compressing sadness under unimaginable loneliness glimmered in his eyes as he met my gaze. Velgemon let out a long, anguished wail and Kouichi winced, hands shooting up to brace his head. I knew there was cold pain surging just beneath the bone and stepped forward. Kouichi held me at bay with a stare, and even as his image wavered, he gave a solemn nod. _Do it._ He seemed to say. _Do it now._ I didn't hesitate.

"Frozen Hunter!" A white wolf composed entirely of pure light reared up around me. The image of my brother faded and, as his control started to slip, Velgemon began squirming in place. He spread his wings and shrieked, but too late. I descended, my blade passing straight through him and slicing the strings that bound Spirit to Host. Red steam flared around his form and he let loose a cry of pure agony. The Human Spirit of Darkness, Duskmon, appeared inside him. And the small, human form of my twin inside that. Like a perversion of those Russian stackable dolls. Kouichi screamed like I was flaying him, his eyes closed, face bunched up in pure agony. His obvious torment made me pause for a moment, heart wrenching in my chest. But as the corrupted Spirits of Darkness were laid bare, the duty of my own Spirits drove me forward.

"Unwilling slave of Darkness," I said, holding out my D-Tector. "Be purified by the Light. Fractal Code Digitized!"

His screams continued as the red taint was pulled from his body with the data, like bloody marrow from his bones, and as it entered my D-Tector, I felt what I could only imagine was a shadow of his pain. Then it was over. Kouichi fell from the sky like a rag doll and I fell to my knees, devolving and wrapping my arms around my chest. As if that could stop, or at least slow, the flow of icy cold needles that seemed to be on a journey from the center of my heart to my skin. For a moment I couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't even think past the pain. Then it dulled and I found I could get back to my feet. Suppressing the urge to whimper, I stumbled towards the place my brother had fallen.

I had to see him. I had to understand what had happened, all of what had happened. I had to know that he was all right…

He lay on his stomach three meters ahead of me, cheek resting on the dirt, breath slow and regular. Like he was sleeping. Relief seeped through me, softening the ache inside and easing the coils of fear around my ribs. When I was less than two meters away, he stirred. I froze. Blinking absently, he pushed himself onto his knees, backhanding dirt from his cheek and looking bemused. He didn't seem to recognize where he was or what he was doing there, and I wondered for a moment that maybe the fall had given him amnesia. Then his wondering eyes settled on me, and the look of fear so far beyond panic that came into his face told me he remembered everything. I had never seen such pure, naked terror on a human face. As I watched him, kneeling on the ground, trembling like a leaf, the irony struck me so hard I had to fight a manic smile from my lips. This had been Duskmon? This _kid_, harmless as a baby pigmy deer at Nara, had been the Master of Darkness? _He'd_ given me nightmares?

Every fiber in his lean body looked tight as a wire, ready to bolt if I so much as breathed the wrong way. A will I knew to be made of steel held them in place, but I could tell the stress of it was wearing that will thin. I had the most bizarre impulse to go to him, to encircle him in my arms and pull him close to me. To stroke his hair the way I dreamed our birth mother had done when monsters threatened us from the closet. To tell him he was safe. But when I opened my mouth, something very different and much less comforting came out.

"Alright, spill it. I need the truth, and I need to hear it from you. Are you my brother? And if you are, is our mother really still alive? Tell me right now." The shock on his face mirrored my own. Yeah, I wanted answers, but I hadn't meant to be an ass about getting them. Still, the harshness of my tone didn't seem all bad. Kouichi hardened against it, his body ceasing to tremble as he rose to his feet. His fingers tangled in his hair, knuckles pressed tightly into his own skull, and for a moment I could've swore I saw the image of a dead forest coalesce around him. Then I blinked and it was gone. Kouichi dropped his hands limply to his sides and his gaze to the ground, shame coloring the fear which still defined his features.

"I never lied," he said in a soft, almost inaudible voice. "Not to you, anyway. I told the others I didn't know you. Told them we weren't related when they asked."

He snuck a quick glance at me, then dropped his eyes back to the rock._ Of course they'd asked_ I thought as our eyes met. We were identical twins and we looked it. I might've had some muscle mass on Kouichi, but our faces, our eyes and hair… it would've taken a real moron not to notice. I grinned internally at that; **I **hadn't noticed.

"But I never lied to you. Everything I said is-" he cut off, guilt burning his face as he bit his lower lip. The single compassionate bone I had in my body stirred, urging me to end this, to wait until he looked a little less liable to cry. I'm not good with tears, even if I don't show it. But he pressed on, voice steady, picking his words carefully.

"I _believed_ every word I said. That doesn't excuse it- any of it. Just because it wasn't _my_ lie, just because I was stupid enough to believe it, doesn't make it true. The truth is…" He gulped. "Long."

The implications hung stagnate in the air.

"I've got time," I said coolly. Another gulp, this one more awkwardly painful than the last. Then a deep breath, and my long lost identical twin Kimura Kouichi began his story.


	13. Epilogue

**Author's Note: And this is it… The conclusion of how many years of work? It's weird to think of how long ago I started this story and how much I've grown as a writer along the way. What's even weirder is knowing that, despite all that time, this was always how it ended. I think that comes through a bit, especially all the way back in ****Fate****. Honestly, I'm a little reluctant to put this up, a little bummed that no one I know personally will ever know I wrote it, and sad that these fantastic characters I've grown to love don't get more internet attention. I've got something new going, ****Aftermath****, but I think I want to get a head start if not finish it before publishing to avoid my typical 6-12 month update times. Maybe by then the reader-base will be even more depleted, but for those of you who like my work, you can be assured that there will be more. Somewhere between research, inorganic chemistry, and neurobiology exams I'll write more. ^^ Enough ranting! Please enjoy the final installment of ****Destiny****! As always, I hope not to disappoint you and would love any feedback you'd like to give!**

**Disclaimer: Even though I feel very attached to these characters and this world, I don't actually own any of it. And I'm making no moneys so please not to sue.**

* * *

If one were to look up the word awkward in the dictionary, there would be a series of definitions. The first would read something like "hard to deal with." The next: "causing extreme discomfort and embarrassment." Beside that second definition, there would be a picture of that first train ride Kouichi took with the rest of the Digidestined. Kouji sitting at the end of the central car, strategically placed near the door, but trying to play it cool by looking absently out the window. Or maybe it was the strategic placement that had been done absently. Who knew. The other four Digidestined sitting in a cluster near the center of that same car, huddled conspiratorially. And Kouichi, all alone exactly one car down from Takuya, hunched over with laced fingers and forearms braced on splayed knees. Yes, the whole thing was picturesque, the perfectly staged scene in some play that had been described by the playwright as "awkward." The four unrelated Digidestined were all whispering about what had just transpired as covertly as possible, their low voices a buzz of confusion, suspicion, and hurt iced with the slightest traces of residual fear. Kouji, of course, could hear every word and would've, under any other circumstances, shut them down. This time, however, he was too preoccupied with his landscape viewing to do anything about it. The forced apathy in his frame was much more noticeable than any actual tension could've been, leaving his nerves all the more exposed. Everyone was doing their part to set the mood, but none more so than Kouichi. Silence rolling from him like a thick fog which threatened to envelop the entire Trailmon.

It made them all really uncomfortable- the silence. When they'd first met up with the twins along the Dark Wasteland tracks, newly repaired teal Trailmon Angler sufficiently bribed with chocolate, they'd expected something different. Takuya, the least emotionally observant of the bunch, had marched right up to greet the dark brother with a loud voice and a clap on the shoulder. But Kouichi had recoiled from him like he'd been holding a knife, panicked eyes darting for one second around the group before returning to the dirt. Izumi had thought to hug him (she was part Italian, after all) but he shied away from her too, using his right hand to pull his concealed left fist deeper into his stomach. The pure terror and humiliation of his demeanor killed the words on their lips and, without ever making eye contact, he'd boarded the Trailmon and situated himself. A prisoner going to his execution.

Kouji wasn't much better. He didn't speak, and he didn't even look at his twin until Kouichi's back was turned. Even then it was just a quick glance, like a slip of curiosity before icy resolve descended once more to quench his blatant uncertainty. His eyes moved to his friends once Kouichi was on board and he gave them a sort of half-hearted, sympathetic shrug. What do you do? What could I possibly say to him? Then he too got on the Trailmon, silent and dreary as the boy before him, leaving the others slack jawed. They hadn't been expecting rainbows and Care Bears, but a little more enthusiasm seemed in order. The long lost twins had finally found each other! Kouichi was freed of Cherubimon's control! Kouji's mother wasn't dead! These all seemed like things to be celebrated, or at least treated as slightly happier occasions than the death of a puppy. Certainly _they _all felt relieved; two horribly endangered friends were safe now. But the reluctance with which the boys stood in each other's company, the haunting in their eyes… No one was sure what they'd been expecting, but it wasn't this.

"It really is crazy," J.P. whispered to Tommy from behind his hand. "Seeing them next to each other like this."

"Yeah," Tommy agreed with a fervent shake of his head. Sometimes the innocence of youth has its benefits and he seemed a little less depressed than the rest of them. "They look exactly the same!"

"We had to be pretty dense not to know they were related, huh?"

"Why do you think they didn't know about each other? I mean, why didn't their parents make them spend time together? My parents are always forcing my brother to play with me, even when he doesn't want to."

"I know the feeling," contributed Takuya, leaning forward to partake in their conspiratorial tone.

"The better question is," said J.P., growing bolder with his volume and raising one finger. As if to point out a pink elephant that was floating just over their heads. "Why did he lie to **us** about it? Why not just say 'Hey, if you see a kid that looks exactly like me, could you let him know I'm looking for him? He's my long lost twin brother.' Or something like that. It's not like it's some horrible crime to be looking for your brother. It's not like we would've judged him, or anything."

"Maybe he's just private," offered Tommy, fidgeting a little. "I mean, Yutaka never talked about his problems, not even to our parents. I never knew what was going on with him…"

"Look where it got him," spat Takuya irritably. "Look what all the secrecy got him!"

"Takuya," chastised Zoe, looking at him in utter disbelief. He wilted under her gaze, setting his jaw in frustration and staring at the floor. This was the first moment they'd had a chance to think since discovering the big secret. And the more Takuya thought about it, the angrier he became. A fierce, powerful anger at fate or destiny or whatever force had turned that poor kid against his brother boiled in his chest, leaking out in at times he didn't intend. None of it was directed against Kouichi, he just…

"We could've helped him," Takuya breathed. He'd meant it to be a statement, an assertion of Kouichi's stupidity for not trusting them. A critique of his frustrating lone-wolf attitude and obviously lacking self-sufficiency. But it came out a question, the words laced with doubt. He remembered a boy in a tunnel, terrified of what was happening to him, wishing he could be different. He remembered not knowing just how desperate that boy was. He remembered not even noticing the kid was in trouble. "If he'd just asked, we could've helped him, right?"

"I don't know, bud," said J.P., fidgeting with his fingers and looking absently out the window. Memories of his first encounters with Kouichi played on the glass, sowing uncertainty into his thoughts. "Maybe it was him, maybe it was whatever Cherubimon was doing to him, but he didn't want us around. Yeah, he might've acted weird form time to time, but how were we supposed to know that wasn't just how he was? Embarrassing as it may be, I think we were always helpless when it came to Kouichi. Let's face it, by the time _we knew_ something was up it was already too late."

"I knew," whispered Zoe, lacing her fingers tightly in her lap. Her expression was carefully arranged, controlled yet simmering. "I knew after the first time he collapsed, back in Breezy Village. I knew in my gut and I didn't say anything… didn't _do_ anything."

"Zoe," exclaimed Takuya, looking genuinely shocked at the morose tenor in her voice. "You're being too hard on yourself; this is not your fault! Hell, I don't think it's really anybody's fault, except maybe that freak Cherubimon!"

"Takuya's right, Z," added J.P., his voice resonating with comfort. "Whatever was going on with Kouichi started way before we knew him and there's nothing we could've done about it. What's important is what we do now."

She gave a sort of weak smile to both of them, but her jade eyes remained distant, a contradiction of guilt and frustration. It was as if she was there in the Trailmon, but also somewhere else, exploring memories and scheming plans.

"Um guys," asked Tommy in a small voice, the obvious child intruding on an adult conversation. "I don't mean to interrupt, but what's gonna happen to Kouichi when we get to the Rose Morning Star? What if Cherubimon is, you know, waiting for him?"

All three looked down at the Warrior of Ice, stunned into momentary silence by the foresight and maturity of his question. What were they going to do? What _could_ they do? If Cherubimon swept in and tried to take the dark twin back under his corrupted wing, was there anything the Digidestined could do to stop him? They hoped so, hoped their time in the Digital World had forced those naïve children who'd first encountered Kouichi to grow up. But their silence spoke of a different sentiment… a fear all felt but none could voice.

"I don't know Tommy," said J.P. finally, glancing down the train at Kouichi's huddled form. "I think that's up to him."

"There has to be something we can do," Takuya shot back, hands balling into fists as he leaned forward.

"You can't kill someone else's demons Takuya."

"We're his friends! We're both of their friends!" A shred of tact kept his voice to a hiss, but as with most things that came out of Takuya's mouth, the words carried such intensity they echoed through the compartment anyway. "We may've let him down before, but we know better now."

"Do we," J.P. shot back, bitterness leaking into his tone. "We _might_ have a better idea about his situation, but there's not a single person here that can claim to _know_ Kouichi. How can we? He refuses to _talk_ to us!"

Zoe shot to her feet, fists held rigidly by her sides. The others, Kouji included, started at her sudden movement, staring at her incredulously. If she cared, she didn't show it. Her face was a thin mask of resolve stretched over heartbreak and fury. She threw J.P. a hot look, then set her jaw, marched down the train isle into the next car and settled herself into the seat next to Kouichi. He flinched away, gaze moving to a spot on the floor as far away from her as possible, left hand held protectively against his abdomen. But he didn't get up or try to scoot away, which Zoe took as an invitation to continue. For a moment she paused, legs pressed together, hand folded stiffly in her lap, back so ridged it made no contact with the seat cushion. The other three watched her with slack jaws, unabashed surprise and curiosity gleaming in their eyes.

"You know," she started in a low voice that wouldn't have been heard by anyone but Kouichi if the rest of the Trailmon hadn't gone so deadly silent. "What you're doing right now, giving us this silent treatment, is really juvenile and cruel."

He shuddered, retreating into himself even more, if that was possible. A flush of shame colored his still too pale cheeks and he bit his lower lip, refusing to speak.

"I understand what you've been through is highly traumatic, and no one expects you to just… get over it." She paused again, taking a steadying breath. "But Kouichi, we're your friends! We care about you; surely you've figured that out from our conversation-I know you've been listening. Please, let us at least _try_ to help you. Just _talk_ to us- _tell_ us what you need!" Her voice broke with such emotion it made her eyes burn. There was another long, painful pause. Then Kouichi's lips parted and he sucked in a shaky breath.

"Why don't you blame me?" Zoe's head jerked towards him. "I can't understand. I lied to you… I tried to destroy you. I mean, _I_ blame me." He straightened and, for the first time since the Wind Factory, truly looked at her. Navy eyes met green and this time is was Zoe who flinched. "I don't want your forgiveness. I want you to hate me. I want you all scorn me and berate me and leave me to rot."

"Why would you think that," Zoe asked, her tone quiet and genuine.

"Because it's what I deserve."

"Kouichi, you can't really believe that." He looked away, head lulling against the window. "None of this is your fault!"

"Isn't it," he shot back, his voice saturated with bitterness and contempt. It was very disturbing to hear such a voice come from lips she _knew_ to be kind. "The Spirits of Darkness chose me, picked the corruption in my soul over _everything else in the Digital World_." He shook his head, letting his dark bangs obscure his eyes. "I saw them, Zoe; I saw what was left of the others, the one's the Spirits rejected. It ate at them, dissolved them from the inside out until the only thing left was the misery that drove them to it in the first place. But not me. It wanted me and I wanted it just as badly. I didn't _**want**_ to want it, but I did."

"Cherubimon manipulated you!" Zoe twisted in her seat to stare at the older twin full on, her expression absolutely incredulous.

"Is that what happened," he laughed. Though if truth be told, it sounded more like a sob.

"You told me," she said deliberately. "That Cherubimon can put things in your head. And we all know how good he is at messing with your memories, with your body. _He_ pushed you into this, and that's the truth."

"I don't know _what_ the truth is," he almost whimpered, closing his eyes. "I don't know what he did to me or what he said. I don't know what kind of person I was before I met him… what's real and what isn't. Was there ever a dead forest? Was I ever actually at the Wind Factory? Did I really kill Arbormon and all those other Digimon? Which of these memories are mine and which ones did _he_ put there? If I'm not the person Cherubimon kept describing, then who am I?" He snorted with contempt. "Maybe it's all true."

"Kouichi, you are a **good person**. You can't be held responsible for the things Duskmon did. Cherubimon changed you; I saw it all the way back in Breezy Village. Kouichi, you were fighting it the whole time."

"I had a choice," he said, nodding to himself. Inhaling slowly through his nose, he opened his eyes with new resolve and gave her a sideways look. "And I chose the darkness."

"It wasn't much of a choice," comforted Zoe, laying a gentle hand on his left forearm. His reaction was… not what she'd expected. A pained hiss slid through his teeth and he jerked away convulsively, grabbing his arm as if to defend it from an attack. "Does it hurt," she asked in surprise.

"Yes," he spat, mouth barely moving. "It hurts."

"I'm sorry," she said, dropping her hand back into her lap. Once the sting died down, Kouichi raised his eyes and gave her a sort of appraising look. Then, pursing his lips, he held out his left arm and pulled the maroon sleeve of his shirt up to the elbow. Zoe recoiled from the sight, letting out an involuntary gasp which she quickly tried to rein in, pressing her hands over her mouth. A sick smile twisted Kouichi's lips as he watched her reaction.

"Disgusting, isn't it," he commented conversationally, flexing his fingers to accentuate the network of black veins that still ran just beneath the near-translucent skin of his forearm.

"What is it?!"

"Evil." His tone was so off hand, so blasé, she almost missed the word. "It's my hatred, my anger and malice and all the things that made me attractive to the Spirits of Darkness. It's the part of me that's hurt Cherubimon-sama hasn't tried to reclaim me yet and the part that would do whatever he asked if it meant getting that power back."

"I… I don't understand."

"Don't you," he accused. Tears that he refused to let into his voice collected in his eyes and he gave her the saddest, most defeated look she ever had or ever would receive. She held it, her expression enigmatic. "These didn't go away when I was separated from the Spirits. Why would they, the Spirits are just power. The _corruption's_ inside **me.**"

"Those feelings," she whispered, not trusting her own voice. "Might've been there when you came to this world and they might still be there. But they're not corruption, Kouichi, they're _human_. You know what else I see in that arm? What I have _always_ seen in you? Loneliness. Sadness. Grief. Horrors I can't even begin to imagine. If I've understood correctly, your mother is sick with no one to help her except for you. You're a twelve year old trying to hold together a broken home and then, out of nowhere, some one drops this bombshell about having a brother and you, of course, take it on as your duty to go find him. Cut yourself a little slack! You're a kind and brave person, but that sort of responsibility would make anyone crazy, especially if they tried to handle it all alone. Cherubimon used that against you; it's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Kouichi didn't respond. He let his hands fall back into his lap, leaving his arm exposed. An empty silence hung in the air, which Zoe felt compelled to fill. She smiled softly, jerking her head towards the other car.

"**And** you're not alone anymore. You're Digidestined, and we're all Digidestined, which sort of makes us immediate friends. Besides," her grin widened encouragingly. "You have a brother."

"Yes," Kouichi agreed, not sharing her smile. "Yes, Kouji is my brother… A brother I tried to kill. A brother," he stole a quick glance at his twin before his gaze returned to the floor. "I can't even talk to."

Kouji had his chin in the palm of one hand and was staring out the window with practiced disinterest, shamelessly eavesdropping. When Kouichi looked at him, he felt an old, but familiar tickle on the back of his neck and moved to return the gaze. But it was too late to catch his twin's eye and, scolding himself for being impulsive, he returned to watching the barren scenery.

Zoe took all this in, looking from one hopelessly awkward brother to the other. Then, rolling her eyes in exasperation, she got to her feet.

"What are you doing," asked Kouichi, taken aback by her sudden action.

"Helping," she said matter-of-factly. Using the same determined stride with which she entered his car, Zoe marched back towards the others. She stopped just in front of Kouji and, before he'd had a chance to protest, grabbed his ear and started dragging him back down the hall.

"The hell," swore Kouji.

"You two are going to have a conversation," she stated, her tone leaving no room for argument. "And you're going to do it now; there might not be another chance once we get to the Rose Morning Star." She thrust him into the car with Kouichi and began to close the door.

"Zoe!" Kouji caught the door with one hand, holding it open and giving her a very intense look. She matched it, daring him to challenge her verdict. "What am I supposed to say to him?" The question was quiet and broken, not at all like the Kouji she knew.

"He's your **brother**, Kouji. Say whatever comes to mind," she answered, speaking the words as if they held some great wisdom and brushing his hand from the frame. Kouji didn't resist, allowing her to close the door in his face and lock him in with the one person he wanted to be near and simultaneously very very far away from.

Finally, sighing heavily, Kouji turned around to face his brother. Kouichi was staring at him, that same primal terror he'd seen when the Spirits had first been stripped etched into his face. Even if he understood it, the expression still made Kouji feel very uncomfortable. However, as soon as their gazes met, Kouichi looked away, flushing. Kouji ran his tongue over his upper lip, selecting a seat across from his twin and throwing himself into it. Kouichi's eyes flicked to him, then back to the ground. For a moment, they just sat in silence.

"Sooo," offered Kouji, his voice made high by nerves. "Our Grandma's dead." Kouichi's head came up and tilted to one side, one eyebrow cocked incredulously. His lips parted for a moment, like he was going to say something, but before the words could form his mouth snapped shut and he looked away. _Seriously_, Kouji chastised himself silently. _That's the best conversation starter you could come up with?_ "I'm sorry," he said hastily, pushing his hands into his jacked pockets. "I'm sorry I'm… not very good with words. This is hard for me too, but Zoe's right, this could be our only chance before… Can we just try? Please just- just say whatever you're thinking."

It was so long before Kouichi replied Kouji almost thought he wasn't going to at all. And when the words did come, they were hushed and timid, whispers into a possibly haunted house.

"I was thinking… wondering, why you would apologize to me. After everything I did… I tried to kill you."

"Well, then that makes us even," Kouji responded, relaxing just a little back into the seat. "It's not like I was going easy on you or anything."

"You don't understand," said Kouichi, pulling his courage together and looking into his brother's eyes. "I blamed you for everything. I _wanted_ to hurt you. They told me killing you would make the pain go away and I _believed them_."

"But you _didn't_ kill me." The statement was so painfully, horribly obvious that in any other situation both brother's would've flung themselves out the Trailmon window to escape the corniness. Yet, miraculously, it wasn't like that at all. The circumstances were such that the words flowed naturally into the discussion, the only words, in fact, that could have been spoken in that moment. The right words. Kouji met his brother's gaze and felt like he'd opened a window to the deepest truths of his being. Like when Kouichi looked at him, his twin could see straight into the recesses of his soul. And, somehow, that didn't bother either of them.

"No," Kouichi whispered. "No, I didn't. I couldn't."

"And _I_ never meant to hurt _you_. I wish things could've happened differently." They sat like that for a minute, reveling in this shared truth.

"And…" Kouji continued, rubbing nervous palms on his pants and straightening his back. His gaze flicked to the door, then fell to the ground. "I didn't mean to be so callous earlier. You know, when-"

"You had every right to be," Kouichi cut him off, twisting his spine so he could look out the window to his right. His back pressed rigidly into the seat, his body tight, but not withdrawn like on their walk to the Trailmon. Wary.

"No," said Kouji in his kindest stern voice. "I didn't." There was a long, stiff pause before he found the nerve to continue. "You find out you have a long, lost twin brother who's being controlled by evil, then subsequently free him from that evil, you say something like: 'Hey, are you alright?' You give the give the guy a moment to catch his breath, maybe help him to his feet. You don't launch straight into an interrogation like some kind of Gestapo officer."

The 'you' part of this conversation was mutually understood to be too personal at this point. Too close to a wound both needed, but neither wanted, to discuss. Too likely to disrupt the fragile trust they'd managed to erect, so it was just omitted.

Kouichi caught his eye. "When I found out I had a long lost twin brother, I stalked him, sold my soul for power, then tried to destroy him."

"Everyone makes mistakes," said Kouji with a shrug. The smallest hint of a smile twitched in the corners of Kouichi's lips, which brought an out-and-out grin to Kouji's. It only lasted for a moment, but in that moment the two brothers were also old friends that knew the absolute location of each other's funny bones. Closing his eyes, the dark twin leaned his chin towards his chest, still smiling that ghost of a smile.

"I can't be that forgiving," he whispered in a broken tone. "Regardless of what Zoe says: I had a choice. Somewhere along the road- I don't know when, I chose to become a monster rather than face you."

"I don't believe that," snorted Kouji disdainfully.

"Perhaps note. Nevertheless it's true. Lord Cherubimon has many…" He swallowed hard, bringing his scarred left palm up to his face and shuddering. "Abilities. He lied to me, he used me, he turned me inside out and put this sickness into my flesh, but he never **made** me blame you. He didn't have to; from the moment I learned about our parents' secret a part of me resented you for not being there. I know that's not your fault, but still… it hurt. I just felt so alone and-"

Kouichi broke off, curling that left hand into a fist and staring at it the way one might regard a gangrenous limb. His gaze held an unexpected steel, his jaw set in admirable rigidity. "That's no excuse. There are no excuses for what I allowed to happen."

Kouji leaned forward, pressing his forearms to his knees and lacing his fingers. He regarded his brother's iron pride, his determination to stand up to his mistakes, accept blame, and atone, with a soft expression that could only be described as fondness. If Kouichi noticed, he didn't comment.

"Don't you think you're being a little harsh," the light twin asked softly. "I mean, you were fighting Duskmon just as hard if not harder than I was. Defeating the Spirits of Darkness was as much your victory as it was mine. Doesn't that count for something?" Kouichi didn't respond. Licking his lips, Kouji changed tack. "If Cherubimon came _right now_ and offered you a chance to rejoin him, would you take it? If you had the power, would you use it to fight me?"

Kouichi turned sharply, his gaze locking into Kouji's. The two shared something neither could articulate nor describe, some understanding of the moment that went deeper than the five senses. Neither flinched from the contact. The sense of familiarity was overwhelming, yet neither pulled back.

"I'd die first."

"Then that's it. There's nothing to forgive." Kouichi let his head tilt to the right, his brows knitting in sadness. Though it was shrouded by softness and kindness, there was a stubborn edge to his gaze that told his twin he remained unconvinced. Sighing, Kouji scooted forward a little, positioning himself more in the isle than on the cushion. He understood that stubbornness all too well; he knew what it was like to do something he regretted and want to atone for it. He recognized, as if from a dream, the need to be blamed.

"Look," Kouji started uncertainly, licking his lips. "I'm not really good with people… And I'm especially not good with family. But, um, that's something I'd like to work on. I wanna know more about you, about Mom, I just… well… I don't know what I'm doing. I've never been the most, uh, _expressive_ guy, and I don't have a great track record with _feelings_, but you have to know that I _want_ to be a part of your guys' lives. I _want_ to figure out this whole 'being brothers' thing."

Kouichi looked at him like he wasn't sure what he was seeing, the way someone evaluates an optical illusion. Certain his twin was imaginary, certain he'd misheard, yet unable to shake the lingering sense of actuality. Tears burned in his eyes, swelling into drops despite his fervent attempts to blink them back. Kouji frowned in confusion, fighting the urge to glance behind him. The discomfort in his stomach suggested there might be something there, some haunting in the window just behind him that had caught his brother's eye, but he knew better. He knew full well _his _words had caused this inexplicable reaction.

"I'm sorry," Kouji stammered, shifting his weight. "I-"

"I always wondered what it would sound like," said Kouichi in a small, even tone. "Every time I saw you- followed you, I always thought I'd do it. I dreamed that if I could be brave enough to just talk to you, just once, then everything would be all right. I dreamed, when I finally did it, you'd say that to me-"

The words cut off in his throat as some invisible hand grasped them, his eyes widening in sudden pain. His right hand flew to his left wrist, grasping it as one might a hemorrhaging wound, and he doubled over. Instinctively, Kouji lurched to his side, uncertain hands hovering, panic etched onto his face. He'd observed similar behavior before, when someone got the wind knocked out of them is sports. Gingerly, he reached for his twin, preparing for a back rubbing maneuver he'd seen preformed by close friends.

"Don't touch me!" The sound came from Kouichi's now shaking form, but the venom in his tone couldn't have. A spasm of fear rippled though Kouji's ribcage as he recognized the voice. Duskmon. The layers of rage and contempt overlaying deep and horrible loneliness which made up the tenor could belong to no one else. Now, more than ever, Kouji needed to be close to his brother. He felt a powerful impulse to comfort and, without the years of conditioning that kept most siblings from expressing such obvious affection, acted on it. His hand hovered for just a moment, then came down gently to rest between Kouichi's shoulder blades. The flesh there felt icy cold through the fabric of his shirt, almost painfully so, but the moment the twins came into direct contact the trembling stopped. Warmth spread from Kouji's hand as it moved softly up and down his spine, seeping into Kouichi's bones and easing his breath. Wordlessly, he looked up. Kouji met his gaze and smiled.

"You know I'm not going to leave, right? It's gonna be weird and confusing, and I'm gonna make a lot of mistakes, but I want to stay with you. You're still suffering Kouichi- I can _feel_ it. Let me help you." He paused for a second, squinting off to one side as if trying to remember something. Then, his eyes brightening, he pulled a D-Tector out of his back pocket. Kouichi straightened upon seeing it, his face suspicious. "This is yours."

"I can't take that," said Kouichi in an undertone, staring at the device like it might leap up and bite him at any minute. "The Spirits of Darkness… _my_ Spirits, they're evil."

"I don't think so. I don't think any of the Spirits are inherently evil, just corrupted like the other Digimon we've faced. The Spirits' were purified by the D-Tector; you can use the Power of Darkness for good, if you want to." Kouichi considered that, biting his lower lip.

"What if you're wrong?"

"I'm not."

"How do you know?"

"Because… you're my brother."

Kouji grabbed his twin's scarred left hand, pulling it towards him. Taking the lack of resistance on Kouichi's part as approval, he pressed the black D-Tector into his upturned palm. The reaction was instantaneous. A dense cloud of purple darkness bloomed from the small screen and enveloped Kouichi's arm up to the elbow before either twin had a chance to blink. Gasping, Kouji started to pull his hand back, but hesitated. Unlike the blackness that had seeped from Duskmon, this darkness felt warm and kind. His mind's eye showed him jagged dead trees burst to life and pouring black rain slow to a gentle fog which glowed silver in the moonlight. He saw delicate flowers with velvet petals surrounded by soft green moss. In the middle of it all he saw his twin, smiling up at the sky, and understood this was, in some way, his heart. **His** darkness. Not the Bringer of Nightmares, but rather, the Protector of Dreams.

Beeping and flashing from his own D-Tector brought him back to the real world. The blue and white device was glowing through the fabric of his pants. Then it jerked itself free of his pocket and began to hover maybe twenty centimeters from Kouichi's. Slowly, the dark cloud retracted back into the screen, taking the black veins that marred Kouichi's skin with it, like dye in a glass of water returning to its original drop. The two devices resonated, glowing and humming softly as if each was pleased by the proximity of its twin. An arc of light and dark energy connected the screens, swirling in paradoxical coexistence, and as the twins watched something began to form inside it. The Spirits of Darkness emerged from Kouji's screen and began moving across the arc like a bridge, changing as they went. Red eyes and skeletal birds morphed to lions, gold accents glittering on their ebony bodies. Both entered Kouichi's D-Tector through the screen and the arc disentangled, light returning to light, dark to dark.

"I…" breathed Kouichi, pulling his D-Tector up to his face an inspecting it in wonder. His voice came from far away, as if, for a moment, he'd forgotten the rest of the world was listening… or even existed at all. "I can feel the Power of Darkness, but it's so _different_ from before. The pain's gone. It doesn't hurt… It's not evil unless _I_ make it that way."

"What'd I tell you," said Kouji with a smile. His knees were starting to ache from squatting and his back was killing him, but he didn't care. It was as if the air itself had become more buoyant and warm, as if the darker twin's silence had released whatever hold it had over the world's happiness, allowing relief and contentment to fill the void it left behind. Kouichi was going to be fine, he could feel it, and that was the best feeling in the world. His twin looked at him, his expression both passive and infinitely complex, then his gaze drifted over to the door.

"Hey Kouji," he said. "Let's go join the others."

"You sure," asked Kouji in surprise. Nevertheless, he took the opportunity to stand, stretching his legs. Kouichi followed suite, eyes unmoving.

"No. But I know they want to see me, and I'm done hiding in the dark. I need to stop punishing them for my mistakes, stop pushing people away. And besides," he glanced back to Kouji, a smile threatening to curve his lips. "They're my friends."

"Alright, your call," shrugged Kouji.

Kouichi nodded and took a step towards the compartment door. Then another. On the third step the train hit a small bump, catching him off balance. His body jerked towards the aisle and one ankle smashed into the other, causing it to buckle. Yelping, Kouichi screwed up his face and prepared for the impact that inevitably followed these sorts of episodes. But this one never came. As he tripped Kouji shot out a hand and caught him just above the elbow, his own balance apparently gyroscopically stabilized.

"Hey bro, you okay," he asked naturally as Kouichi scrambled to get his feet back underneath him, flushing with embarrassment. A couple nods told the light twin when his brother had regained his stolen balance and he let go.

"I'm fine."

"This happen often? You… tripping on stuff?" Kouichi flushed even darker.

"Periodically," he admitted, readjusting his vest to keep his hands busy. Kouji grinned at that.

"That how you lost your D-Tector in the first place?"

"I dropped it when I fell off a ledge in the Fire Terminal…"

"You fell off a ledge?"

"And a cliff… just outside the Wind Factory."

"Accident-prone?"

"No, not typically… Maybe a little, when I get anxious."

"I guess it's a good thing you made it on that elevator back in the Human World, huh? I'd hate to think what would've happened if you'd missed it."

"I'm sure I would've just gone down the stairs. Sometimes you can actually beat the elevator, if you run fast enough."

Kouji gave a teasing grin. "You probably would've _fallen _down the stairs. Landed yourself in some kind of coma, or something."

Kouichi outright snorted at that, smiling with such genuine amusement that, this time, it reached his eyes. "Yeah right," he laughed. "Like that would ever happen."


End file.
